Feel excluded from classmates

[lampard]

Hi I just wanted to say that I feel excluded by my classmates - particularly the people who are in my group.

There is this one girl, who's stopped even making eye contact with me, and she won't talk to me at all. She doesn't even look at me. It's just she's treating me like a ghost :)

IF she sees a funny picture on her facebook page, she'll show it to everyone else but exclude me from looking at it.

I feel really annoyed, and obviously this girl doesn't like me for some reason.

The other people in my group are friendly. But she's kind of like the queen bee of the group, so the others are kind of following suit.

I think the biggest reason is that...

the group is very ethnic-oriented. I don't know how to speak their language.

I thought that they seemed to be pretty motivated with class work, that's why I made friends with them in the first place.

I know that I didn't come to nursing school to make friends. And this feels really immature. But I don't know why this girl is ignoring me altogether.

I missed one or two classes, and then after that she stopped even looking at me.

Also, she got fairly good marks but I didn't on the next test, and she would totally ignore me after that.

One thing that could be the reason is that:-

I think I was a little selfish. Most of the people in my group like to exchange study notes and help each other out.

Once she missed one class, and asked me what she had missed. I told her that she didn't miss anything important, and told her to look at stuff on blackboard.

And then, the other student in the group told her that she missed something BIG, and then gave her notes to her.

Anyway, obviously she doesn't like me, and the group seems to be favouring her side. So, I guess it's best to leave the group and sit somewhere else now?

I really don't want to put up with this drama, because it's immature. I don't know what's up with her, but ignoring someone and disrespecting them is not nice is it?

[caliotter3]

I was the same, I commuted to nursing school 2 hours each way; everyone had plans together after class but I couldn't do anything because I had to make the train home. I decided that I wasn't there to make heaps of friends, just a couple of good ones who I'm still friends with now 3 years after graduation and we all live in seperate parts of the country.

I will encourage you however to try and make friends when you do your clinical placements, having people to talk to about experiences will help.

Good luck!

This. I commuted from the opposite direction of all of my classmates. When we had group projects, I was always the one who was inconvenienced when the decision was made to meet at someone's house. When I spoke up in my own behalf, I was belittled by my instructor.

Spend your time on your schoolwork. Work on making friends with the nurses and nursing supervisors at your clinical placements. These are the social connections that will help you in the future and where you should be focused. The high school behavior will mean nothing to you six years from now when you are looking for a job.

[__patiently_waiting]

I have the same problem. I decided to befriend a group of 3 other people when I first started nursing school. They are all nice, but I don't really fit in with them. I'm guessing this is because they knew each other prior to starting nursing school.

The same thing happens to me as well as far as one of them looking or laughing at something in their phone and will show everyone but me. But whatever. I'm not in school to make friends. As long as I'm passing my classes I'll be just fine. I have enough stress with school. Worrying about whether other people like me or not is the least of my worries. Like one of the other posters said, you'll probably never see these people again after graduation. Don't stress it. Just focus on your studies. Good luck!

[dorkypanda]

don't feel bad for that situation. someone out there will rub you the wrong way intentionally or not. I think you should just carry on like how you usually are- respectful and nice to others. Don't let that girl get to you personally.

[VivaLaVespaGirl, BSN, MSN]

I do not understand why you would even bother continuing to befriend a group of people you don't fit in with. I cannot imagine that you actually like them if they make no attempts to include you in their conversations or activities. You don't need to make a big production of it - but go interact with the other folks in your class. And frankly, they probably aren't paying enough attention to you to be "suspicious" if you go sit somewhere else. And if they are, who cares? Are you trying to impress them? You need to be civil to everyone - not friends with everyone.

[Red Kryptonite]

This person posted basically the same thing back in September. It seems to be an obsession that is not cured by advice. I think the OP is just going to have to emotionally graduate from junior high on her own time, and none of us can really help.

[RunBabyRN]

Nursing school isn't necessarily about the social stuff. Focus on your studies, and try to stay out of any drama (and don't create it). If people drag you down, drop them. If you're low drama, you attract low drama people. Don't waste the energy on this petty stuff when you have enough on your plate with the curriculum.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Hi I just wanted to say that I feel excluded by my classmates - particularly the people who are in my group.

There is this one girl, who's stopped even making eye contact with me, and she won't talk to me at all. She doesn't even look at me. It's just she's treating me like a ghost :) ....

Anyway, obviously she doesn't like me, and the group seems to be favouring her side. So, I guess it's best to leave the group and sit somewhere else now?

I really don't want to put up with this drama, because it's immature. I don't know what's up with her, but ignoring someone and disrespecting them is not nice is it?

Ok, now honestly: is this college....or middle school?! Because from what I'm reading, there's a serious shortage of maturity on all sides of this. But only the OP is taking the time to post about it.

Tough love time: focus on your studies. Be friendly without being clingy, be social without being demanding. Ignore those who need to be ignored. They aren't in your family, you aren't required to be "besties". And if you let this silliness rule your life.....I suspect you won't survive a full week on a hospital floor anywhere once you land a job.

[lampard]

Thanks for the comments. I think I should just focus on my studies. Thinking about this is too much of my energy and time.

There will always be people that don't like you anyway.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

You're in nursing school, not junior high. Quit wasting energy on this juvenile carp and focus on why you're there!

[RunBabyRN]

We can't make everyone like us, and grasping that now will help you immensely in life. I know it can be hard to let that sink in when you're a person who wants everyone to like them. That was me, and it was hard to let that go, but I took so much so personally when I was so focused on pleasing everyone else, and it's just plain exhausting. High drama people are not needed in your life, and the more you can learn to distance yourself and not feed into it, the better. I'm glad you're "hearing" (reading?) what we are saying. It's very freeing when you can let it go. It'll still get to you sometimes, but don't let it rule your life. You'll find you attract better people when you let this stuff go.

[Laurie52]

One thing that could be the reason is that:-

I think I was a little selfish. Most of the people in my group like to exchange study notes and help each other out.

Once she missed one class, and asked me what she had missed. I told her that she didn't miss anything important, and told her to look at stuff on blackboard.

And then, the other student in the group told her that she missed something BIG, and then gave her notes to her.

it?

I'm pretty sure this is why they are upset with you. Not only did you not want to help her but you also set her up to do poorly by not even telling her that she missed something big. You didn't have her back, now why should she have your?

[pmabraham, BSN, RN]

Good day, lampard:

Why are you in nursing school? Go over the why you are there questions (there is more than the one I asked). Also, let's state one of the reasons is to make friends... is spending time laughing at a funny (or not) FB picture going to help your grades? Stay focused on big pictures while conquering smaller tasks related to the big pictures.

Thank you.