Family videotaping patient care

[freckles23]

Hi there, I have to bring up an incident that happend last night on my shift. I have this patient who was newly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer w mets to brain. Patient went from being independent to complete care within a matter of days. Patient did not tell family about her cancer so the family was distraught when they heard. Anyways, right when I got on shift, daughter was screaming for help to help her mother because she was vomiting. I addressed her concern and called doc for new orders. Told daughter ill be right in when I receive complete report on patients. Gave pt meds and daughter apologized for being so out of hand. A few hours later she comes storming out of the room saying no one is helping her mother and she vomited. In my head im thinking ok she JUST vomited a second ago, second of all you did not ring the call bell so how are we supposed to know your mom is vomiting? Third off, if your mother is needing this much attention while your sitting in the chair next to her, completely capable of helping her then maybe you should help. So then she whipped out her camera phone and started to video record what was going on by putting the camera in her mothers face saying "this is how they left my mother! No one is helping her" she then points the video at me and the aides and says "look what they are doing, they arent even helping and this is what the nurse is doing". I had the aides clean her up right away. Explained to her we are working as fast as we can.

so One of my co workers called security and i did not know that there was such a policy regarding video recording or pictures being taken. Security came up and explained to her the reason behind the issues of privacy and security asked her to delete the video. She refused to delete it so security told me they need to call the police. So they arrived and in the end she cooperated and deleted the video. I told nurse supervisor and she spoke with daughter and told her she wanted a diff nurse (which shocked me cuz she was so nice to my face and so thankful for my actions early in my shift and i asked if she needed anything to call for me, so my conclusion is she is mad that it got taken to the point where police were involved and she probably didnt like someone young telling her what to do). I switched patient with another co worker.

I needed to vent because I kind of feel violated. I did my very best to reassure the daughter that if she needed me to let me know and the fact that everything i did do for her mother is now disregarded. It was so inappropriate for her to invade my privacy and act so irrational. Is there something I could have done better? How would you have handled it?

[LovingLife123]

I would have called security as well. I would have been glad to not be that patients nurse and gladly taken a new assignment. I hate dealing with crazy families.

They are grieving right now as this new diagnosis and the fact they are losing their loved one. They are angry and are taking it out on the wrong people. It happens. They feel like they should have been there throughout the illness but weren't because they didn't know and now there is extreme guilt.

Its not you, it's them, and you just need to shrug it off. There is a reason the patient decided not to tell family. Maybe they are just super overbearing and the patient is just done and is ready to go. We can't speculate.

Just be glad you don't have to deal with it.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

I'd probably count my lucky stars not to have to deal with that family anymore. I'd go about my business taking really good care of my other patients, and I wouldn't let the daughter take up any more space in my head.

[quazar]

I would have called security as well. I would have been glad to not be that patients nurse and gladly taken a new assignment. I hate dealing with crazy families.

They are grieving right now as this new diagnosis and the fact they are losing their loved one. They are angry and are taking it out on the wrong people. It happens. They feel like they should have been there throughout the illness but weren't because they didn't know and now there is extreme guilt.

Its not you, it's them, and you just need to shrug it off. There is a reason the patient decided not to tell family. Maybe they are just super overbearing and the patient is just done and is ready to go. We can't speculate.

Just be glad you don't have to deal with it.

Exactly all of this. Sounds like the daughter waas over compensating for something, and taking her anger out at an easy target (you). Sorry this happened, but I personally think you handled it just right.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Video taping/photos are never allowed in pt care areas in any facility I've ever worked at. Security should always be notified.

Do you have palliative care teams at the hospital? I would get them involved in her care as well

[LovingLife123]

Video taping/photos are never allowed in pt care areas in any facility I've ever worked at. Security should always be notified.

Do you have palliative care teams at the hospital? I would get them involved in her care as well

Palliative care can be a god send in situations like that. I like ce it when one if the physicians finally gets them to step in with families. Especially ones that are not accepting of a diagnosis. I had that last week, and I totally thanked the doc for doing it.

[Sour Lemon]

Those are very difficult types of families to deal with. Sometimes they pass the denial stage and sometimes they do not. You would have been "wrong" no matter what you did or how quickly you did it. Don't lose sleep.

[cleback]

Ditto what the PPs have said. I would also add that your excellent care of the mother is not negated by the daughter. You still were a great nurse to that patient, and if she could thank you, I'm sure she would.

[freckles23]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It just really took a quick hit to my ego when it all happend so just wanted to get it out.

[lhflanurseNP, APRN]

First off ***HUGS***. If the family had no clue that their mother had brain cancer...it is a shock! I am sure the daughter is distraught and is fighting out because she can't yell at mom for not telling her. To see your loved one become incapacitated almost over night is hard enough without having to deal with the realization that this is the end. You did nothing wrong...you were the sounding board! ***HUGS*** again.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It just really took a quick hit to my ego when it all happend so just wanted to get it out.

((HUGS)) you did fine. Always call supervision and security. Let them deal with the family.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Hi there, I have to bring up an incident that happend last night on my shift. I have this patient who was newly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer w mets to brain. Patient went from being independent to complete care within a matter of days. Patient did not tell family about her cancer so the family was distraught when they heard. Anyways, right when I got on shift, daughter was screaming for help to help her mother because she was vomiting. I addressed her concern and called doc for new orders. Told daughter ill be right in when I receive complete report on patients. Gave pt meds and daughter apologized for being so out of hand. A few hours later she comes storming out of the room saying no one is helping her mother and she vomited. In my head im thinking ok she JUST vomited a second ago, second of all you did not ring the call bell so how are we supposed to know your mom is vomiting? Third off, if your mother is needing this much attention while your sitting in the chair next to her, completely capable of helping her then maybe you should help. So then she whipped out her camera phone and started to video record what was going on by putting the camera in her mothers face saying "this is how they left my mother! No one is helping her" she then points the video at me and the aides and says "look what they are doing, they arent even helping and this is what the nurse is doing". I had the aides clean her up right away. Explained to her we are working as fast as we can.

so One of my co workers called security and i did not know that there was such a policy regarding video recording or pictures being taken. Security came up and explained to her the reason behind the issues of privacy and security asked her to delete the video. She refused to delete it so security told me they need to call the police. So they arrived and in the end she cooperated and deleted the video. I told nurse supervisor and she spoke with daughter and told her she wanted a diff nurse (which shocked me cuz she was so nice to my face and so thankful for my actions early in my shift and i asked if she needed anything to call for me, so my conclusion is she is mad that it got taken to the point where police were involved and she probably didnt like someone young telling her what to do). I switched patient with another co worker.

I needed to vent because I kind of feel violated. I did my very best to reassure the daughter that if she needed me to let me know and the fact that everything i did do for her mother is now disregarded. It was so inappropriate for her to invade my privacy and act so irrational. Is there something I could have done better? How would you have handled it?

The family is dealing with their mother's loss -- both the loss of the independent person they knew and the coming loss of her life. That's no excuse. But it isn't personally directed at you. You've been "fired" from a difficult patient with a difficult family. Aren't you lucky! You have a legitimate reason for staying away.

The daughter may be embarrassed at her behavior and be unwilling to face you. She may think that the next nurse will let her do whatever she wants (and she may be right) or she just likes to be in control. Whatever the reason, you're now out of the situation. It's no reflection on you. It's just the family's craziness.