Families that talk about my coworkers

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How do you address patients and/or family members that have negative opinions about your coworkers? I work as a private duty nurse with an agency and of my patient's family member talks about a lot of the other nurses that take care of this patient. Anything from "she's always late" to "she's weird and I don't like her." If it's a practical issue, I try to help them solve it while remaining neutral about the other nurses. As far as the personal opinions (she's weird, their work ethic, etc) I usually just don't say anything and allow them to vent. There was one complaint that a nurse showed up and said she'd rather be at her flea market booth selling vintage items than with the patient. :eek: I just acted shocked and said "Nobody's forcing her to be here, she shouldn't have said that." I'm not sure if I should've stayed quiet though. What do you guys think? Do you tend to stay neutral or take a side, so to speak?

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Neutral, neutral, neautral. And in case that wasn't clear, neutral! No good can come from voicing an opinion either way.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

i always back up my coworkers. if they are talking about them to you then they are likely talking about you behind your back too.

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Specializes in PCU.

Totally neutral. If it is an issue that needs resolution, I will work on finding a solution. If it is just the patient/family venting their opinions on my colleagues, I remain quiet or say, "It is very stressful being in this situation. Tell me about it" and let them talk.

I often wonder when these people are talking about my colleagues...what do they say about me when I am not around? So I tend to take things w/a grain of salt and drive on.

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I work in home care. I would support my co-worker, but... If it seems like a real issue, like being late or not doing a good job, I tell the pt that I will discuss this with my supervisor If it is a personality issue ie; not feeling like the staff person is the "right fit" for the pt, I let them know it is their right to request a new staff member. I have had pt's say the nurse is too rough, or too familiar (calls pt pet names like sweetie, honey etc) If it is race related, that is a whole different issue! I turn that over to a supervisor ASAP

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

I tell them to talk to my supervisor if they think it's serious enough. Many don't and feel better venting to me.

Otherwise, like the others have said, I try to stay neutral and don't say much either way. Even if I think the nurse probably sucks I won't say it to the pt.

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Specializes in Palliative Care, Geriactric, Trach Care.

I work in home health care as well. I stay out of it but do suggest that they contact our lead. Three sides to a story; his, hers and the truth. Good luck!

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Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.

As far as the personal opinions (she's weird, their work ethic, etc) I usually just don't say anything and allow them to vent. There was one complaint that a nurse showed up and said she'd rather be at her flea market booth selling vintage items than with the patient. :eek: I just acted shocked and said "Nobody's forcing her to be here, she shouldn't have said that."

I'm not sure if I should've stayed quiet though. What do you guys think? Do you tend to stay neutral or take a side, so to speak?

You weren't there, you didn't hear the conversation, and you don't know what was actually said; so why take a side? Some people like to stir the pot, and will exaggerate what was said, or how it was said.

If there is a problem to resolve, do it.

Otherwise, you can ask them if they feel it's something they'd like to discuss with your manager.

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Flea market complaint could have been the patient, "How's your family?" and the nurse replying, "My mom's at the flea market today, such a nice day for it!" or any other of a million things. Or could be a complete fabrication.

This is the most common way patients manipulate us, by pitting us against each other. They tell us the previous nurse sucked, so that you'll feel the need to either "make it better" or prove how much better you are. Then I guarantee, they're doing the same thing after you leave, and saying that you suck.

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Flea market complaint could have been the patient, "How's your family?" and the nurse replying, "My mom's at the flea market today, such a nice day for it!" or any other of a million things. Or could be a complete fabrication.

This is the most common way patients manipulate us, by pitting us against each other. They tell us the previous nurse sucked, so that you'll feel the need to either "make it better" or prove how much better you are. Then I guarantee, they're doing the same thing after you leave, and saying that you suck.

I just thought I'd quote this again, because it's right on.

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Specializes in Medical Surgical Orthopedic.

I always act like it's the strangest thing I've ever heard.

"Hmm, I'm not sure what to think about that. Mary's patients usually say that she's wonderful. I think I'd even want her to be my nurse if I were in the hospital."

They usual start back-pedaling at that point.

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I always act like it's the strangest thing I've ever heard.

"Hmm, I'm not sure what to think about that. Mary's patients usually say that she's wonderful. I think I'd even want her to be my nurse if I were in the hospital."

They usual start back-pedaling at that point.

Yeah, if I can honestly say that I will, BUT...alot of the times, I really do believe my residents (LTC nurse) and then proceed with a "Do you want to talk to the DON about this?"

I do stay nutral as I can. Not my place to let them spreat the rumors etc.

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