Extreme hardships...but still dreaming of becoming a nurse

THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN · Apr 5, 2014

You are stronger than you think, my mom has lupus, life is short and you don't want it pass by with regret. Do what you want, the time will pass anyways.

twinkerrs · Apr 5, 2014

I went back to school in 2007 to become an RN. I graduated with an ASN in 2009 a BSN in 2010 and will fulfill my true dream to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner this May. If you have dreams you can make them come true. Here are our similarities: I have twin boys both of which are on the autism spectrum one on the high functioning end one on the low functioning end (both have ADHD and so do I). I was diagnosed with lupus in 2010 and I too have fatigue but I make it ok. Heck who has kids and doesn't have fatigue.

Follow your dreams. Lupus is manageable so are kids.

roser13, ASN, RN · Apr 5, 2014

I agree that you should follow your dreams, but I would caution you that your memory issue could be difficult to overcome. There is a tremendous amount of memorization involved in nursing school (think memorizing all the bones of the body or the molecular content of elements) and an equal amount of drawing upon that memory in nursing practice.

Without the support of your husband, how will you manage child care issues? Do you have close family or friends who will help you?

allnurses Guide · Apr 5, 2014

A dream without a plan is just a wish, but a dream with a plan is a goal! You sound like you know what you want and have a good handle on the challenges that await you when you go forward. I would suggest you make a list of those challenges and then one at a time write down how you will handle them through school. I believe this will give you confidence that you really can do this and move you past the wishing stage into the planning. Will it be easy? No way. But it sounds like you have faced "hard" before. You can do it.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Apr 6, 2014

I have a friend who is a single mom with two kids both have ADHD and she has lupus, chron's, fibro, and ra. She is going to school to be a LPN. I will say it has been very difficult on her. She is on chemo with her lupus and it makes her very tired and she has lots of illnesses due to low WBC. She had to withdraw for a semester because her lupus flared up. She's back at it now but it is exhausting for her. I would talk with your doctor and see what he thinks. I have a few medical issues myself. I have fibro and epilepsy. I had a long talk with my doc before embarking on this journey and the fact that I have been seizure free for 3 years and we got my fibro under control, he thinks I can do it. I know I have days where I am completely exhausted and I don't have near the issues my friend does. But I admire her for her determination to do this and I try to support her as much as I can. So while you do need to go for your dreams be realistic with your expectations and do what your body will allow. You need to be around for your children so don't stress your body out so much that you can't be there for them.

BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN · Apr 6, 2014

I'm going to give you my honest opinion, since that's what I'm assuming you want.

No one but you can answer this question. And it's not a realistic question to ask yourself right now. I have know many students with little or no commitments or obstacles that could not do it. I also know many students with a lot on their plate (maybe not as much as you) that could do it. Everyone is different. There is no magic formula that determines who succeeds and who doesn't.

You need to ask yourself some basic questions before you even consider diving in, regarding your ability to commit. You need a plan. Do not just say "it will work itself out".

Can you actually get to class and clinical on time? Who will take your kids to school/daycare if you need to be in clinical before their school opens? Who will pick them up?

When will you study? This is where the majority of students' plan fails. Nursing school is not just going to lecture, lab and clinical. You need to commit time to studying, preparing for clinical, care plans, etc. is your husband committed to being the primary parent while you lock yourself in a room (or leave to go to the library)? Will your children be able to function without you? Will you be able to let them function without you? Special needs or not, kids often depend on their mothers, and some moms do not give up control to other people regarding parenting. Do you have parents, in-laws, a sitter? If you have medical problems, you cannot do it all. You need to realize this before you even consider this.

How many hours can you go without sleeping? With your condition, it may affect your health, your immune system, etc. do you have any physical limitations this far?

I completely appreciate your desire to want to help others. But you need to be physically and emotionally fit, and have all of your ducks in a row to do so. Do not be that student who starts the semester by telling your professor about everything that is going on in your life. You are an adult, and are making a conscious decision to do this, weighing all of the options. I am sure you want to be treated just like every other student in your class, and in theory, you should be

PNW0212 · Apr 28, 2014

Thoughts and prayers sent your way :-)

Nursing IS possible for you no matter what. Look for financial aid possibilities and start prerequisites for nursing at a community college. You can save money this way. Never, ever give up on your dream.

Remember, it's always darkest before dawn.

vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN · Apr 28, 2014

While I have had no physical health problems, per se, I did go through a lot during the path to become a nurse.

My husband of 8 yrs kicked me and our 3 kids out of our home of 8 yrs.

I had no job.

I was homeless for about 7 months but was accepted to and started LVN school during this time.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and suffered anxiety, depression, insomnia, etcetera for which I have to take meds for.

My ex accused me of child abuse numerous times throughout the time I was in school. I had to go to court and deal with police and CPS.

But I made it. I think surviving nursing school was all about making a choice as to what I *really* wanted.

I was committed fully to becoming a nurse and laid down practical ways to achieve my goal.

I applied for cash assistance, later on I applied for spousal support (right before I graduated) I signed up for free after school care and placed my kids in a school within walking distance from where we were staying, I applied for subsidized daycare, and found family and friends and licensed daycare options. I had back ups to my back ups to make sure my kids could be cared for while I attended school.