Experiencing racism and xenophobia when coming to CA to help with Covid

[xwill327]

As a travel nurse, I expect to experience whatever is thrown at me. What I experienced at Metropolitan State Hospital was beyond my expectations. It was an unbelievable encounter with rudeness, hate, racism, and xenophobia. 

On the first day at the facility, the staff was extremely rude to all of us who picked up to come work and help with COVID. All my travel colleagues would agree and could speak to the disrespect given to us. I thought this may not be a place for me to work and almost quit. Wanting to stay in SoCal I continued the contract. 

The extreme hate began on the inpatient unit. A psych tech and I were having a talk about life. I mentioned my “gay culture” to him and he replied, “what is gay culture.” In an aggressive manner. I saw his body language change, eye contact decrease and his fists even ball up. When I explained gay culture is my lifestyle he harshly stated, “That doesn’t exist. All gay people should come to Nigeria and be killed.” I replied stating that would never happen to me and I would protect myself in any way I needed. But I was fearful and shocked that someone could say that. I never reported this but spoke to a friend about what I could do to protect gay patients in hospitals, especially a state-run facility. 

The next situation happened more recently causing me to resign. The snowball effect of hate forced me to never return. A person who came over risking my own health to care for COVID patients had to run far away. I also signed a lease in Long Beach so could not even return home after such a horrific experience. 

So it started on another unit where I was talking shop with this shift lead on unit 409. We were talking shop and election results. The shift lead name Dia stated, “ I support Donald Trump because he is crazy like our patients so we should take care of him like we do our patients.” Her using the word crazy to describe a person with mental illness was alarming in itself. When you hear what happened next, that doesn’t even compare. I am someone who is asked every day, “Are you Arabic or Muslim? Are you from the Middle East?”, she intensely and rudely stated to me, “All Muslims should go back to where they came from!”

I was beside myself and had to leave the office and go to another unit. I absolutely told her she was xenophobic and doesn’t take care of “crazy” people because she hasn’t moved from the desk. I reported it to the manager right away and said I can not work there. They moved me to another unit. I am unsure if any action was taken, but I highly doubt it. The manager did not take any of my information. I quit and no one from the facility had reached out to me (5 days after I am writing this). 

I believe some form of justice should be served. Staff has said this is the culture of Metro and they are not surprised. Taxpayer money of gay and Muslim civilians alike find this facility and pay the salary of those who hate them and verbally express it freely. I fear for the patients who fit the criteria of what some of these staff members see less than and believe should be dead or deported. 

Please respond with helpful advice? How should I move forward to get justice?

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

13 hours ago, pmath_RRT said:

Let's say you were in mgmt and what happened to you was brought to your attention.  What would you do to handle this situation?

I would separately pull each person and potential witnesses into my office and talk to them. Then would act accordingly after parsing the info. We only have 1 side of the story. There's always 2 or more sides, and the truth often lies somewhere in the middle

[Corey Narry, MSN, RN, NP]

5 hours ago, Hoosier_RN said:

I've been at my workplace for 3 years, and most don't know anything beyond me being married-I'm the manager. 1 nurse walked up to me the other day and ask if 'x' was my son. It seems that her husband grew up in our small town and thought he recognized me when he dropped off her lunch (I didn't recognize him, but now remember last name when thinking back). I've learned to separate work from personal, as many will often use any morsel of info against you if they can figure out how to twist it. Also, separating creates less headaches and promotes growth from other interests

Not trying to cause another stir here but do your co-workers know that you are married to a man or a woman?  See that's where many gay people have an internal struggle...do they divulge that they are in a relationship with someone of the same sex and face backlash.  I personally feel that it's best to make that announcement early on.  One does not have to say it with every acquaintance or conversation at work but a slight and innocent comment of "my car is broke so my husband is picking me up today" could be stressful for any gay person to say simply because of the kind of reaction that has been common in the past. Straight people don't have to worry about that.  That's why I am all for "out and proud" gays who don't give a rat's behind coming out.

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

He can discuss his personal life but he sees now what can happen. I had someone tell me this, I don't like gay guys and that guy is gay. I told the guy that I don't dislike a person just because they are gay.  Straight people discuss their personal life so why can't he?  I remember sitting next to a transexual person on a greyhound bus as a teenager. Most enlightening experience in my life.

[Corey Narry, MSN, RN, NP]

1 minute ago, Workitinurfava said:

He can discuss his personal life but he sees now what can happen. I had someone tell me this, I don't like gay guys and that guy is gay. I told the guy that I don't dislike a person just because they are gay. 

Exactly! it takes guts to do it and it takes just as much guts to fight comments from homophobic co-workers.  The alternative is to be silent, not be out, and hear hurtful homophobic comments in passing.  Which one do you choose?

[Corey Narry, MSN, RN, NP]

On 11/17/2020 at 6:21 AM, Wuzzie said:

I had an experience long ago with a gay RT who loved to give us all the gory details of his latest sexual exploit, and I mean all the details. If anybody asked him to stop he started screaming they were "homophobic" and he was being discriminated against when it was nothing of the sort. Not saying that happened with the OP just saying it makes me question what actually went down. 

That's a distinction that has to be made for sure.  That does happen but it's not the norm.  Believe me, I work in San Francisco and have had a co-worker show me on their iPhone what they are going to wear for Folsom Street Fair! Certainly inappropriate for a workplace conversation.  Technically, that can also fall under hostile work environment if the person on the receiving end is made uncomfortable by it.

[Guest856929]

I think ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is perhaps an apt policy in the professional setting, especially during provision of care. I don’t give two shakes of a rat’s fat booty about anyone’s sexuality. I’ll be cordial if it’s brought to my presence, but it’s still irrelevant, just like people who unsolicitedly feel the urge to show others pictures of their babies/pets. OP seems to coerce coworkers into compromising/conflicting diatribe. You go looking for it and you’ll find it. Not everyone will be behind you (no pun), all the time.  

[xwill327, ASN, BSN, RN]

51 minutes ago, cynical-RN said:

I think ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is perhaps an apt policy in the professional setting, especially during provision of care. I don’t give two shakes of a rat’s fat booty about anyone’s sexuality. I’ll be cordial if it’s brought to my presence, but it’s still irrelevant, just like people who unsolicitedly feel the urge to show others pictures of their babies/pets. OP seems to coerce coworkers into compromising/conflicting diatribe. You go looking for it and you’ll find it. Not everyone will be behind you (no pun), all the time.  

I have to say that was a funny one ?. I truly can take criticism and jokes without darting to discrimination and hate. 
 

 And to clarify talking shop is not throwing it in people’s face. But easier to blame others than take a look at your own biases. Takes a wise man (whether:gay, straight, bi, lesbian, trans, queer, intersexual, asexual) ? 

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

2 hours ago, cynical-RN said:

I think ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is perhaps an apt policy in the professional setting, especially during provision of care. I don’t give two shakes of a rat’s fat booty about anyone’s sexuality. I’ll be cordial if it’s brought to my presence, but it’s still irrelevant, just like people who unsolicitedly feel the urge to show others pictures of their babies/pets. OP seems to coerce coworkers into compromising/conflicting diatribe. You go looking for it and you’ll find it. Not everyone will be behind you (no pun), all the time.  

So do you also believe in the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy for heterosexual coworkers? Would you have an issue if a heterosexual coworker mentioned “blah blah blah my husband blah blah blah” or should they also go the don’t ask don’t tell route. 

[NurseBlaq]

4 hours ago, juan de la cruz said:

That's a distinction that has to be made for sure.  That does happen but it's not the norm.  Believe me, I work in San Francisco and have had a co-worker show me on their iPhone what they are going to wear for Folsom Street Fair! Certainly inappropriate for a workplace conversation.  Technically, that can also fall under hostile work environment if the person on the receiving end is made uncomfortable by it.

But who's going to make that distinction? Why is that hostile but intentionally engaging coworkers in possible uncomfortable conversations for the sake of creating conflict isn't? IMO just telling someone you'd rather not discuss ABC or walk away and leave the conversation if it's a group conversation is the move. If they wish death/harm just because they're a bigoted POS is another topic and they definitely need to be reported.

[Corey Narry, MSN, RN, NP]

12 minutes ago, NurseBlaq said:

But who's going to make that distinction? Why is that hostile but intentionally engaging coworkers in possible uncomfortable conversations for the sake of creating conflict isn't? IMO just telling someone you'd rather not discuss ABC or walk away and leave the conversation if it's a group conversation is the move. If they wish death/harm just because they're a bigoted POS is another topic and they definitely need to be reported.

The person who makes the distinction for what's a hostile work environment is the person on the receiving end and it's up the company's EEO enforcer to investigate.  There is no gray area here and the criteria based on the law is clear on it.  I don't need to go over that here because it's already in every employee handbook and annual training required in most every workplace. 

And why is affirming one's sexual orientation which does not constitute any violation of current US laws causing discomfort?

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

5 hours ago, juan de la cruz said:

Not trying to cause another stir here but do your co-workers know that you are married to a man or a woman?  See that's where many gay people have an internal struggle...do they divulge that they are in a relationship with someone of the same sex and face backlash.  I personally feel that it's best to make that announcement early on.  One does not have to say it with every acquaintance or conversation at work but a slight and innocent comment of "my car is broke so my husband is picking me up today" could be stressful for any gay person to say simply because of the kind of reaction that has been common in the past. Straight people don't have to worry about that.  That's why I am all for "out and proud" gays who don't give a rat's behind coming out.

Some don't even know I'm married, much less to what sex person I'm married to. I don't have personal pictures in my office, so they wouldn't know. My personal life is just that, personal, no one else's business. 

My brother is very openly gay and married to the most wonderful man. The family and friends network for both is substantial. He is in nursing school, I tried to get him to join AN, and add to this discussion. He is lucky in that he says he's not faced this discrimination, so he doesn't feel he can add to the conversation. He did tell me that often people assume how he feels or tell him how he should feel. That to me is reprehensible. No one has that right either

[NurseBlaq]

52 minutes ago, juan de la cruz said:

The person who makes the distinction for what's a hostile work environment is the person on the receiving end and it's up the company's EEO enforcer to investigate.  There is no gray area here and the criteria based on the law is clear on it.  I don't need to go over that here because it's already in every employee handbook and annual training required in most every workplace. 

And why is affirming one's sexual orientation which does not constitute any violation of current US laws causing discomfort?

But you can't have it both ways. If someone is uncomfortable with one sharing their personal business, regardless of content, then it's a hostile work environment according to your logic. As for why it's causing discomfort, I can't answer because I'm not one of those people. However, I do have an aversion to people behaving like jerks to any and everyone who doesn't agree with them regardless of topic.