I am sure those of you who worked new years eve last night are as exhuasted as I am...anyway my thoughts keep wandering back to satan's reincarnate, whom I met last night in the ED. She was a mother who brought in her drunk 16 year old child. It was about 3 am, I had 7 pts to myself including a GI bleed with hgb 8, a guy with a perf. esophagus, we had 3 pts waiting to be checked in, combative woman screaming...you know what I mean.
So, I finally get back to the drunk girl and satan woman (pts mother) demands that I come into the hall. She tells me I am to numb her daughters arm before the IV and that I will have to have 12 people hold her down. Jump forward 20 minutes and I am setting up the IV. Mother says in evil tone "you better be good at this because you only get ONE try" After dealing with her evilness on top everything else all night this one just put me over the edge. I have never been so angry at a pt. (family) in my life. I was so angry that I could barely move my hands to unwrap the IV, it was as though I was frozen with anger, I never experienced a reaction like this in myself. I make an excuse to leave and regain my composure. I come back and the pt. has great veins. I insert the IV, pt. is crying softly--6 family members are stroking and babying pt. I don't go right in the vein, I pull back once, palpate, go in a bit and mother screams at me "pull it out NOW, you're done" I pull the needle out and leave the room. The mother procedes to tell Dr. how rude and incompetent I was. The story goes on of course but I'll stop here. Now, I have had plenty of evil encounters but nothing has ever gotten to me as much as this woman did. It was as though she sucked what little life I had left in me right out.
So, the point of my story is, what do you guys do to get over being treated like this? I can't get her out of my thoughts and I keep running over everything I would like to say to her and how good it would feel. People like her should simply not be allowed to live in our society. I have given up so much and worked so hard to get where I am, I spend 12 hours a night trying to help people just to be treated like crap by ungreatful worthless scum sucking people. The thing that gets to me is that there is nothing I can do about it, and I am forced to tolerate something I have no tolerance for.
Maybe the answer to our nursing shortage has nothing to do with recruiting nurses, maybe it has to do with finding some way of either teaching people how to be humane to each other, or simply killing off those who can't be decent.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
this guy was islamic (please i have nothing against his race/religion) and i went into his room and introduced myself and told him i was going to be his nurse. i asked him what brought him to the emergency dept. today the same as i would ask any other patient and he said to me, "how dare a female insult me by speaking without being spoken to." it was the way he looked at me with the coldest stare i had ever seen and the tone in his voice.
many years ago, a well known (locally, anyway) white supremicist had an mi in the town where i was working. (he was in town to incite a riot -- fortunately, had his mi first.) of course everyone in the er knew exactly who he was -- and assigned the african american cardiologist to him. and when he needed surgery, the arab surgeon performed it, and the jewish pulmonologist managed his ventilator. he was quite respectful to them! he took it out on the nurses, of course. but it was worth it to see how meek and mild he became when his physicians were around!
ruby (mentioning that some of the details have been altered to protect the guilty)
wow, what an ungrateful family member. I am not a nurse and frankly don't know how I would have reacted. I am very sentimental, so I might have dropped a tear or 2.
Unless the mother locks her 16 year old in the basement 24/7- which is illegal- then how is she suppose to "Not allow" her daughter to get drunk? You can only raise your children to a certain point then pray that your lessons stick in their adolescent brains. And I am sure that you have first hand knowledge of the "Perfect Healthcare Experiences" these patients have been through in the past.
My wife had to undergo a lumbar puncture a few years ago. We were at a "University Hospital" and naturally a 4th year med. student was sent in to perform the procedure. I appreciate the fact that all need to learn, but after his 4th attempt, the supervising MD asked if she could send in another student to try? I would and probably was labeled an "Evil Person" for what I said to the doc in the hallway.
First, one of the ways a parent doesn't allow drunken children is that the mother doesn't let her 16-year-old daughter go out on New Year's Eve.
Trust me, it works.
Secondly, I'm very sorry that your wife had to endure multiple attempts at a lumbar puncture. It's certainly not a pleasant procedure!
You would not have been labelled "evil". You were understandably upset, and had I been in the room, I would've been saying STOP after only two failed attempts. (I know because I've done it.)
Besides, I haven't told you any of the stories in which the patient blew up over something that was relevant because in those cases, I agreed.
The thing that makes this so different is that the mother's responses were completely inappropriate because they were unrelated to any action of the staff.
Sounds to me that maybe mom should have been having a little chat with the police about why her 16 year old daughter was out on new years getting drunk. There always more than one way to get an interfering parent or other visitor out of the way so to speak so one can do appropriate and needed patient care. Hospital management might not like it but guess what laws were being broken and I do and will call the police.
I never allowed anyone to get the best of me. The devil comes to steal and destroy. Dont ever allowed the devil gets the best of you. Dont let the devil steal your joy. Let it go! It is not worth it...Life is too short to stay upset. I am sure you are a great nurse. Dont let one night of bad experience get to you..................Give it all to Jesus!
Timely thead. Seems like past several weeks I've been cursed by the same questions what to do with the leader of the pack, the ONE who will devore you, eat you alive. Yes, seriously. The devil, yes the devil, is out there waiting for you.subitilly waiting. It attacks in increasing devious ways, and please remember that 3/4 of the truth is still a lie, that's the key.
I am sure those of you who worked new years eve last night are as exhuasted as I am...anyway my thoughts keep wandering back to satan's reincarnate, whom I met last night in the ED. She was a mother who brought in her drunk 16 year old child. It was about 3 am, I had 7 pts to myself including a GI bleed with hgb 8, a guy with a perf. esophagus, we had 3 pts waiting to be checked in, combative woman screaming...you know what I mean.
So, I finally get back to the drunk girl and satan woman (pts mother) demands that I come into the hall. She tells me I am to numb her daughters arm before the IV and that I will have to have 12 people hold her down. Jump forward 20 minutes and I am setting up the IV. Mother says in evil tone "you better be good at this because you only get ONE try" After dealing with her evilness on top everything else all night this one just put me over the edge. I have never been so angry at a pt. (family) in my life. I was so angry that I could barely move my hands to unwrap the IV, it was as though I was frozen with anger, I never experienced a reaction like this in myself. I make an excuse to leave and regain my composure. I come back and the pt. has great veins. I insert the IV, pt. is crying softly--6 family members are stroking and babying pt. I don't go right in the vein, I pull back once, palpate, go in a bit and mother screams at me "pull it out NOW, you're done" I pull the needle out and leave the room. The mother procedes to tell Dr. how rude and incompetent I was. The story goes on of course but I'll stop here. Now, I have had plenty of evil encounters but nothing has ever gotten to me as much as this woman did. It was as though she sucked what little life I had left in me right out.
So, the point of my story is, what do you guys do to get over being treated like this? I can't get her out of my thoughts and I keep running over everything I would like to say to her and how good it would feel. People like her should simply not be allowed to live in our society. I have given up so much and worked so hard to get where I am, I spend 12 hours a night trying to help people just to be treated like crap by ungreatful worthless scum sucking people. The thing that gets to me is that there is nothing I can do about it, and I am forced to tolerate something I have no tolerance for.
Maybe the answer to our nursing shortage has nothing to do with recruiting nurses, maybe it has to do with finding some way of either teaching people how to be humane to each other, or simply killing off those who can't be decent.
I would have started with a nice little call to the Dept of Child protection....endangerment of a minor...let her get s---y with the cops!
I have been in that exact predicament, and felt the same as you...helpless.
Here's my story.....I was working agency at this hospital one day shift(I was called in at 545a..there was a call in), I had 2 patients going to surgery that morning,needing on call meds consents, IV's etc....So I am running around getting everything done and there was this one patient who started off with an awful attitude..who was ugly with me from the firwst good morning. I cahlked it up to her surgery anxiety,thought no more of it..she was ugly to everyone. Resp came up to do her EKG, she refused until she took a shower, at which time during the shower her IV came out and she said nothing about it I would not have known until the ekg tech found me and told me the evil woman has pulled her IV out. Upon attempting to restart her IV and getting her fluids going again..I heard talking to a visitor...here comes dum-dum(referring to me). Then she informed me I had only one chance to "get it"..I informed her that I "got it" earlier and that she should be more careful with such things because of their importance, she proceeded to tell me that that was my job and to get my dumb ass out of her room. I obliged her and informed the charge nurse(who took her as her patient..her only one) She also drove her insane, and when she came back from recovery they reported on all her unpleasantness as well. The amazing part was when the surgeon came to see her she was a sweet as honey. Everyone was FLOORED!!! I was so P----- I could have just screamed and then I realized she had some other psych problems she did not share with us upon admission.
Many of you are much nicer than I am by biting your tongue! I would have reminded this mother that she is responsible for her daughter and that I will call the police and child protective services for neglect and/or providing ETOH for her. I bet that would shut her up quick!
Many of you are much nicer than I am by biting your tongue! I would have reminded this mother that she is responsible for her daughter and that I will call the police and child protective services for neglect and/or providing ETOH for her. I bet that would shut her up quick!
The problem with your arguement, and that of others here, is on what basis do you make the claim that the mother 1. Provided alcohol to the girl, or 2. She "allowed" the daughter to become intoxicated and/or drink. A friend, and preacher raised 4 children, he was always there for them, provided a quality private education, and appropriate levels of discipline. 1 of the 4 turned into a drug addict and eventually bank robber. To assume that he in any way "contributed" or was "neglectful" to this delenguency is utterly ridiculous!
One approach I might have missed, or hasn't been provided, is to take the mother aside and provide comfort and reassurance, and while doing this, a competent provider could ascertain that there might be other issues like maybe the child is abused and or neglected, or maybe the mother is so emotionally exhausted and needs help in dealing with a teenager that is beyond normal parental capabilities. A person far wiser than me once said that "Lashing out at others could be a symptom of some underlying physical or mental illness".
I believe that the treatment of nurses has a lot to do with our nursing shortage. Who wants a profession that doesn't receive respect? I agree that telling the mother that you will have to contact the authorities since the child is a minor. Maybe she won't change, but at least you can feel like you had some control.
The problem with your arguement, and that of others here, is on what basis do you make the claim that the mother 1. Provided alcohol to the girl, or 2. She "allowed" the daughter to become intoxicated and/or drink. A friend, and preacher raised 4 children, he was always there for them, provided a quality private education, and appropriate levels of discipline. 1 of the 4 turned into a drug addict and eventually bank robber. To assume that he in any way "contributed" or was "neglectful" to this delenguency is utterly ridiculous!
One approach I might have missed, or hasn't been provided, is to take the mother aside and provide comfort and reassurance, and while doing this, a competent provider could ascertain that there might be other issues like maybe the child is abused and or neglected, or maybe the mother is so emotionally exhausted and needs help in dealing with a teenager that is beyond normal parental capabilities. A person far wiser than me once said that "Lashing out at others could be a symptom of some underlying physical or mental illness".
Just a thought from a mere pre-nursing student.
And the problem with your argument is the fact that you are seeing a MINOR here who is legally under the responsibility and control of the parent. Social Services needs to be called in if the child is out of control of the parent.
If the child reaches adulthood and THEN becomes wayward, or drunk, or uses drugs, it's nobody's business except theirs--and the police.
The mother in this case is not being held at fault for GIVING the child the alcohol, but for ALLOWING the child (by not keeping her home and under the mother's direct care) the opportunity to go out and get drunk.
A 16-year-old is too young to be doing that stuff. Period.
And the problem with your argument is the fact that you are seeing a MINOR here who is legally under the responsibility and control of the parent. Social Services needs to be called in if the child is out of control of the parent.
If the child reaches adulthood and THEN becomes wayward, or drunk, or uses drugs, it's nobody's business except theirs--and the police.
The mother in this case is not being held at fault for GIVING the child the alcohol, but for ALLOWING the child (by not keeping her home and under the mother's direct care) the opportunity to go out and get drunk.
A 16-year-old is too young to be doing that stuff. Period.
Absolutely, I agree 100% with this arguement. However, many of the previous posts, including the OP seemed more concerned with the nusance of the mothers actions, and even advocated calling the police to shut the mother up. If calling the police and child services are for the best interests of the patient then I'd gladly accomodate that point.
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Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
many years ago, a well known (locally, anyway) white supremicist had an mi in the town where i was working. (he was in town to incite a riot -- fortunately, had his mi first.) of course everyone in the er knew exactly who he was -- and assigned the african american cardiologist to him. and when he needed surgery, the arab surgeon performed it, and the jewish pulmonologist managed his ventilator. he was quite respectful to them! he took it out on the nurses, of course. but it was worth it to see how meek and mild he became when his physicians were around!
ruby (mentioning that some of the details have been altered to protect the guilty)