New Year's day, I had a patient about my age. He asked me personal questions every time I was in the room, like if I was married, if I had kids, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary, lots of people do this. By about noon, he started coming on a lot stronger and started asking me if we could be "special friends". I told him matter of factly that it is against hospital policy and that our relationship was professional only. Then he asked if he could at least take me to Red Lobster. Again I declined the offer and told him that I couldn't see him outside of the hospital because that would be unprofessional. I didn't think that my actions were misleading to this patient at all. I was no different toward him than I was to any other patient, except that I usually don't have to turn down dinner invitations. I discharged him a short time later and he seemed to purposely delay the discharge process. He acted angry and was short with me during the discharge and I figured he would get over it. He then kind of avoided me and nobody actually saw him leave the hospital. I got a bit apprehensive about his actions and when I left the hospital late, not in a group, I asked for a security escort. When I got out of the security vehicle, the patient approached me in the parking lot! He was about 20 feet away and I hopped into my car and locked the doors and started it right away. As soon as my car started, the security guy drove off, leaving me in a dark parking lot in a snow covered vehicle with the person I was trying to protect myself from only a short distance away! I turned on my wipers and started driving even though I could barely see out my windshield and had zero visibility out the other windows of my car. Now, this guy knows what kind of car I drive, too! I will always ask for a security escort when I'm not in a group now and I will make sure I don't walk out distracted, talking on my cell phone, either! I also reported the security guy to management for not ensuring my safety. He had to have seen the man approach me and I had informed him that I had a patient situation that day. This has really frightened me. Has anyone else experienced something like this?
How scary. I'm married to a cop and just read him your post. He thinks you should definitely make a report with your local PD. They might already be aware of him if he has a history of this, or God forbid something worse. If nothing else, it will give you a paper trail if he starts harassing you further.
Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.
I agree with Ebear--this is one of the reasons why we should not have our last name displayed on our name tags. I have taken care of a number of inmates in the hospital and I always covered up my name tag.
To the OP--I agree with all the excellent advise on this board. Also, I carry pepper spray in my purse and always have it with me when I walk out to my car. It does make me feel a little safer.
We fought the battle for years against having our whole name on our ID badges. We lost. You need to report this incident to the head of security, the local PD, and your head nurse. In no way are you at fault, this guy went too far in trying to force you into a "social" relationship that you had already said "no" to . Risk management needs a report too. You ask why all of these people, well, I worked with a nurse who was stalked, she filed all of these reports, was assured she would have every protection, but in the end, she was beaten and almost raped by the stalker. She filed a law suit against the facility and won a nice settlement. She was not the sort to be a flirt, not flashy or too friendly. Now, I am not saying this will happen to you, but people do many mean and nasty things today. Better to be careful, take all precautions as able, and document every incident for use if needed. This nurse left the area, moved out of state, started over, refused to come back to visit family for over 5 years. She is living in a warmer climate, works in a doctors office, and will not work after dark. She uses her last name only(her maiden name) when dealing with patients. BTW, the reason she got a settlement was because she requested an escort to her car after working late, was told the security guard would meed her at the elevator, he did not show, was waiting when the stalker jumped her and pulled her into a alcove off of the area and starting beating her and trying to pull her uniform off. Security never did show up but other nurses did, her the commotion and called the local PD plus took whatever they could find and started beating on this guy to make him let go. He was taken to the ER later with "severe bruises to the head, face, neck, back and ribs."
Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.
It is not your fault, you did the right thing, you need to file a report with your police department and hospital security. If you see him again, get his license plate number and provide it to the police. Better yet, drive to the police dpeatment, just to let him know.
I am not telling this this to scare you but I had a client who showed up at my condo door, with a 357 in his hand. I slamed the door shut and locked it. And ran to the phone. He was later arrested at another case manager home, and we insisted he be prosecuted. He was, in 1987. And he was relase, on parole, in 2001. I haven't seen or heard from him since. He tried to claim the gun was not loaded. I testified about how scared I was and how afraid I was that he would show up again.
As a person, we are entitled to be left alone. And if a person can't understand or accept this, they need to be taught a lesson, including the court process, if necessary.
I am so sorry this happened to you!! What a scary situation! If this happens again-which I hope it won't, I would let hospital administrators know about the situation as well as the security department.
Its very refreshing to hear that you are so conscience of your surroundings! Please be safe!
In addition to taking the precautions everyone has suggested and making all of the suggested reports so that everything is out in the open, I think you should ask the personnel at the police department what the procedures are for obtaining a restraining order. Although most people say that restraining orders are useless pieces of paper, this is another item in your orificenal should you have to deal with this person in the future. And stalking is not as isolated an occurrence as many believe. I've been stalked by two persons, a former co-worker and a family member and friend(s) of a former patient. Although my official contact with the patient ended more than five years ago and I've since left the area, there is ample evidence that I'm gone but not forgotten. I don't find it to be a very amusing situation.
Specializes in Med-surg; OB/Well baby; pulmonology; RTS.
This situation reminds me of a great book (The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker).
It's a book that I think all women should read, IMO...
I second this suggestion. I read this book soon after I graduated from nursing school and started working.
You've gotten great advice. The only other suggestion I have is to call your family before you leave the hospital-that way you know someone is expecting you to be home. It makes me feel a little safer because my hubby will call if I am not home when I am supposed to be. We are all worry warts in my family but hey, one day it might save my life.
Something similiar happened to me. I ended up filing a TRO against him. It helped - until I saw him again. I was especially frightened because he had spent time for assault and rape and would put his hands on me at work. I had no security where I worked so it was just me and my mace.
Definitely file complaints against the security guard and possibly the pt.
Also, take a self-defense class and carry mace wherever you go and know how to use it.
NHCNurse
52 Posts
How scary. I'm married to a cop and just read him your post. He thinks you should definitely make a report with your local PD. They might already be aware of him if he has a history of this, or God forbid something worse. If nothing else, it will give you a paper trail if he starts harassing you further.