New Year's day, I had a patient about my age. He asked me personal questions every time I was in the room, like if I was married, if I had kids, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary, lots of people do this. By about noon, he started coming on a lot stronger and started asking me if we could be "special friends". I told him matter of factly that it is against hospital policy and that our relationship was professional only. Then he asked if he could at least take me to Red Lobster. Again I declined the offer and told him that I couldn't see him outside of the hospital because that would be unprofessional. I didn't think that my actions were misleading to this patient at all. I was no different toward him than I was to any other patient, except that I usually don't have to turn down dinner invitations. I discharged him a short time later and he seemed to purposely delay the discharge process. He acted angry and was short with me during the discharge and I figured he would get over it. He then kind of avoided me and nobody actually saw him leave the hospital. I got a bit apprehensive about his actions and when I left the hospital late, not in a group, I asked for a security escort. When I got out of the security vehicle, the patient approached me in the parking lot! He was about 20 feet away and I hopped into my car and locked the doors and started it right away. As soon as my car started, the security guy drove off, leaving me in a dark parking lot in a snow covered vehicle with the person I was trying to protect myself from only a short distance away! I turned on my wipers and started driving even though I could barely see out my windshield and had zero visibility out the other windows of my car. Now, this guy knows what kind of car I drive, too! I will always ask for a security escort when I'm not in a group now and I will make sure I don't walk out distracted, talking on my cell phone, either! I also reported the security guy to management for not ensuring my safety. He had to have seen the man approach me and I had informed him that I had a patient situation that day. This has really frightened me. Has anyone else experienced something like this?
Definately file a report with the local police dept., notify security and management, and get yourself PROTECTION!!! Keychain pepperspray is clutch, but make sure to discreetly carry it in your hand when walking alone.
Im sorry to hear that you had such an expierence...definately not your fault.
This situation reminds me of a great book (The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker).
It's a book that I think all women should read, IMO...
Absolutely.
I considered suggesting a restraining order, but hesitated as she described how angry he became just from her refusal. That's a touchy situation. I'd suggest speaking with a detective and criminal lawyer who are experienced with stalking cases for their take on whether a restraining order would help or exacerbate this situation. I also wonder if such an order would include her name and address, or any other identifying information this guy could use against her.
Be certain that everyone on your floor (and nursing supervisors, etc.) know that under NO circumstances are they to give out any information about you to ANY caller--- male or female (my own stalker had a female friend call me thinking I'd fall for that...). Not so much as to verify if you're even working or not. You'd be surprised what info some co-workers will give out; I've had them give out phone numbers, my schedule, and so on.
Hi, update, yes I'm okay. I worked the day after that happened, then had a day off and then worked Friday. The hospital I work for has 3 campuses and I work on all three. I was placed on another campus both times I have worked since the incident. There are 3 units I work on in that campus where the incident happened, but this patient is a frequent flier and knew that I was a "float" nurse. My frequent location changes are a good thing! I have walked out with a group both times and let someone in the group know what happened. I didn't really want to share this with everyone but I know a lot of people within the hospital so if I am approached in the parking lot, other nurses might not find it suspicious if they don't know my situation.
The hardest part was while I was at the gym, believe it or not. I kept watching the door. I don't know enough people at my gym and I wouldn't confide in them. When I left the gym, it was dark and I was approached as I exited by a woman who was asking me how I liked the gym because she wanted to join. It freaked me out but I know that it's early January and lots of people join gyms in January and my gym has a huge male population compared to female and it was just a coincidence, but I didn't feel good until I was well on my way down the road.
My manager reported the two security guards to the head of security and to risk management. I won't forget the patient's name and I'll be watching my back for a long time. I am going to hold off on any further action until I see if anything else happens. Maybe that is foolish, but I don't want to stir things up if he was going to leave me be. At the very least a restraining order would have my last name on it. I signed his discharge paperwork but you couldn't read my first name, let alone my last name on my signature.
Yesterday I was discharging someone and apparently some of the nurses have been giving out a computer generated discharge medication list and I was hand writing the list out. Another nurse asked why I didn't use the computer generated one, it is less work and I informed her that the computer generated med rec paper has my full name and title on the top and there is no way any patient is going to get that to walk out the door with! I wouldn't have thought about it before, though.
Had a stalker from the internet that tracked me down by calling various hospitals in my area asking if I was working that night. This was years ago (AOL.2) when you got dumped into chat rooms. Somehow this guy got fixated on me. He started sending me IMs very non threatening at first then more demanding. I had a vague bio first name, city, and that I was an Oncology RN. This guy systematically called each hospital in my area (5 of them) until he got someone that knew me. He told them some bogus story how I had been there when his father died of cancer and he wanted to send me a card. YES my co-worker bought it and inadvertantly gave up my real last name. I did not know he knew all this until he started threatening me and began telling me my personal info, where I lived, what times I worked etc. This was 10 years ago and I still watch my back.
So please please take any stalking seriously. Never ever discuss any employee with anyone on the phone no matter how touching the story. As for the internet, do not even have a bio page. And yes, I reported him to AOL, to security at my hospital and to this day will not go to my car alone, even though I am sure he has moved on. People are nutz out there.
It only takes one well-meaning co-worker to give out your info.
Mary, please ask your manager and risk management to get the hospital to send out an urgent memo that under NO circumstances are callers to be given any information about an employee.
You know, we protect patient privacy by requiring 'code words' from callers; perhaps it would be a good idea to do the same for employees.
Sabby_NC
983 Posts
Agree with this too and I always have my pepper spray on my key chain too.
Do please take care of yourself (gentle hugs your way)