Ever been stalked by a patient?

[marygirl]

1. New Year's day, I had a patient about my age. He asked me personal questions every time I was in the room, like if I was married, if I had kids, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary, lots of people do this. By about noon, he started coming on a lot stronger and started asking me if we could be "special friends". I told him matter of factly that it is against hospital policy and that our relationship was professional only. Then he asked if he could at least take me to Red Lobster. Again I declined the offer and told him that I couldn't see him outside of the hospital because that would be unprofessional. I didn't think that my actions were misleading to this patient at all. I was no different toward him than I was to any other patient, except that I usually don't have to turn down dinner invitations. I discharged him a short time later and he seemed to purposely delay the discharge process. He acted angry and was short with me during the discharge and I figured he would get over it. He then kind of avoided me and nobody actually saw him leave the hospital. I got a bit apprehensive about his actions and when I left the hospital late, not in a group, I asked for a security escort. When I got out of the security vehicle, the patient approached me in the parking lot! He was about 20 feet away and I hopped into my car and locked the doors and started it right away. As soon as my car started, the security guy drove off, leaving me in a dark parking lot in a snow covered vehicle with the person I was trying to protect myself from only a short distance away! I turned on my wipers and started driving even though I could barely see out my windshield and had zero visibility out the other windows of my car. Now, this guy knows what kind of car I drive, too! I will always ask for a security escort when I'm not in a group now and I will make sure I don't walk out distracted, talking on my cell phone, either! I also reported the security guy to management for not ensuring my safety. He had to have seen the man approach me and I had informed him that I had a patient situation that day. This has really frightened me. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

[Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN]

Please, please, please be aware of your surroundings at all times!!! I haven't personally experienced this thanks be to God!!!!

[peds_cna]

I carry mace on my key chain at all times, with it in my hand, finger on the trigger when alone in these types of areas. I suggest you consider the same.

[Sensoria17]

Not to freak you out, but I think I would be looking for a new job. These sorts of things scare the heck out of me.

[jesskalpn]

Wow, totally scary! I've never experienced anything like that, but I'm totally frightened for you.

I would make a report with your facility's security department and request an escort each and everytime you leave, whether in a group or not. When you are on your employer's property, they should protect you. I would also write a letter to the head of the security department explaining that a security escort should wait until you are safely leaving the property before they drive away.

I would also file a report with your local police department, should this escalate into a situation where you may need a paper trail (restraining order or the like). I don't want to frighten you, but these are scary times we live in.

Hope this guy just gives up and leaves you alone, please keep us updated!

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

I agree, file a report with the hospital security and the police department.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I had a weird situation happen when I worked in psychiatry as an aide. There was a client that owned an expensive shaving kit, and I offered to put it up for him because first, they are not allowed to have such a thing on themselves, anyhow, and also, because of the high quality of it, another patient would have stolen it. I would give it to him each time he shaved, would watch him, then, place it up again. When he 'improved' and had ground priviledges, he would start calling me on the telephone to say obsene things, and I started receiving love letters.

I got together with his psychiatrist and the rest of the team, and we had a team meeting with the patient. Oh, boy, did he cuss me out, saying I lead him on, etc...but the actions stopped. I also admit that when no one was around, I told him that I would castrate him if he ever stalked me outside. I stopped working there a bit later, and my friends that still work there tell me that he said "I still Love ***". A few years later, I was riding the train and saw him. He didn't seem to recognize me, but, I felt really weird, and when the train stopped, I changed cars. I never saw him again, that I know of, but, it is uncomfortable. I have no regrets telling him years ago that I would castrate him, because if I will not let someone harm me, and even if I am afraid, I let them believe that I will fight with everything that I have.

I hope this guy leaves you alone. Let the hospital know, from the physician and everyone else. This way, if he is admitted again, you do not have to work with him and the rest of the staff is warned. There may be a psych history on him anyhow, which is good to know about just in case.

[oramar]

You may see this person again, don't hesitate to call the police. If managment wants to know why you did not call security instead of the police tell them that in the past security has proven to be unreliable.

[EmmaG, RN]

Wow, totally scary! I've never experienced anything like that, but I'm totally frightened for you.

I would make a report with your facility's security department and request an escort each and everytime you leave, whether in a group or not. When you are on your employer's property, they should protect you. I would also write a letter to the head of the security department explaining that a security escort should wait until you are safely leaving the property before they drive away.

I would also file a report with your local police department, should this escalate into a situation where you may need a paper trail (restraining order or the like). I don't want to frighten you, but these are scary times we live in.

Hope this guy just gives up and leaves you alone, please keep us updated!

Excellent advice.

In addition to security and the local police, file a report with your hospital administration. This person needs not be allowed to be admitted to that facility again, or at the very least never again to your unit (and demand that you be notified if he is admitted anywhere in the facility).

Please be aware of your surroundings everywhere you go, not just to and from work. I have a friend who was stalked by a patient who at one point was awaiting her outside a store as she left.

[NurseCard, ADN]

Ick, ick, ick....

I wouldn't say that I've been stalked, but I did have a couple of pretty creepy patients when I worked psych, who might have given me a pretty hard time had they been given the chance.

Take every measure to protect yourself. Don't ever be by yourself when you go to your car. Hopefully you'll never even see this guy again.

[EmmaG, RN]

1. New Year's day, I had a patient about my age. He asked me personal questions every time I was in the room, like if I was married, if I had kids, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary, lots of people do this. By about noon, he started coming on a lot stronger and started asking me if we could be "special friends". I told him matter of factly that it is against hospital policy and that our relationship was professional only. Then he asked if he could at least take me to Red Lobster. Again I declined the offer and told him that I couldn't see him outside of the hospital because that would be unprofessional. I didn't think that my actions were misleading to this patient at all.

First of all, you are not at fault. However, looking at it from his perspective, in his deluded mind he was hearing you say "if it only weren't for these darned rules..."

Always just say "No" without explanation. I've had a stalker (not related to my job) and trust me, they will hang on any excuse to believe that you really want to be with them if only...

[bigsyis]

Wow! I am sorry that this happened to you. My daughter was attacked in her high school parking lot back in the late '80's and she stilll has nightmares about it.

I never had anything like that, but I did have a female pt who asked me out. I politely declined (her girlfriend had just left the room!) and everything seemed cool. I had her on a telemetry floor for about a week. A couple of weeks later she was back, and asked for me to be her nurse. She and her girlfriend had been fussing, and she talked some about that. I was REALLY busy and couldn't (and wouldn't) hang around to chat, but I was polite. Back in those days we worked 5 8-hr shifts a week, so I saw a lot of her.

Long story short, I came to work (3-11) several weeks later, and the daytime staff told me that a pt that had been very complimentary of my work was waiting for me in our breakroom! I had no idea who it was, and when I walked in, there she was. I had to get report and told her so, but not before she told me that she was a "very experienced lesbian and would love to introduce me to the life." I told her I was married and I appreciated the compliment, but that I definitely wasn't interested. She told me that if I ever changed my mind, all I had to do was call her.

On subsequent hospitalizations I made sure (and so did the rest of the staff who knew the situation, by then) that I was not assigned to her. She would stop by the Nurse's Station to chat, but I was always charting, or got called to a room, or something-anything. She finally left me alone.