Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 4

"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More

  1. by   Anna Flaxis
    OkayOkay, I'll try to get back on track here.

    Had a guy drive himself in in V Tach. Drove across town, walked into the lobby, cool as a cucumber. He'd had it before and knew what it was.

    Had another guy vomit once in the bathroom at the movie theater. No comorbidities, no other complaints. Vomited once and came in by ambulance. An adult man.

    Had a diabetic homeless guy inject himself with a large dose of insulin shortly before walking in through the lobby. He wanted to be admitted to the hospital.
  2. by   monkeybug
    (I worked in L&D, we have our own triage.)

    Pregnant woman in by ambulance at 3am. Her arrival was followed very shortly by the arrival of FIVE relatives who drove a private vehicle to follow the ambulance. Pt.'s ambulance ride started over 60 miles away (we are the only hospital with L&D for a huge area). I walked in and said, "So what brings you in tonight?"

    "I have a yeast infection."

    Did you call your doctor during office hours? Nope. Did you try OTC Monistat? "No, I would have to pay for that." Why the ambulance? "Well, my family was nervous."

    I did a wet prep, woke up a very angry doctor, and discharged her home with instructions to get OTC monistat, the doctor refused to write a rx after he heard the story. Yes, of course, Medicaid.
  3. by   That Guy
    "I have a temp of 100 for an hour"
    "Have you taken any tylenol or motrin?"
    "No thats why I came here"

    WHAT!!!!!!!! You are raking in a $1000 bill that you wont pay because you cant afford the $3 it takes to buy OTC tylenol yet you smoke 2 packs a day that = roughly $10.

    Nursing destroys my compassion and understanding sometimes.
  4. by   BCgradnurse
    One of my all time favorites was a man brought in around 8 AM with a head lac. He was intoxicated and got in a fight with another guy while attending a "Legs and Eggs" show. Legs and Eggs is a "breakfast" show at a nearby strip club. Who knew?
  5. by   NurseOnAMotorcycle
    Here's mine: Pt comes in with towel to face. While talking, blood pours out of his mouth. His wife found out he was cheating on her and BIT OFF HIS TONGUE during a french kiss! Made the news.
  6. by   nurse2033
    My invisible Mohawk hurts. Really, no- really.
  7. by   CherylRNBSN
    Quote from redhead_NURSE98!
    That link was hysterical!

    I have had 2 pts fake seizures in the past 6 months and they were equally hysterical and DETECTABLE!

    Keep 'em coming!

    So funny!
  8. by   Hagabel

    I have sunburnt feet...seriously.......... healthy person with red legs at 11pm at night in summer

    I hurt my has not had a shower in possibly months, drunk and feet so skanky I cold not see anything except dirt and hard skin

    Numb lip

    Abdo pain X 4 years

    The broken little toe after stubbing it who calls an ambulance and brings her kid with her late at night leaving a houseful of people and cars in the driveway.

    And the 2 pts in a 100kmh high speed rollover who walked away!!!!!
    Last edit by Hagabel on Jan 8, '13
  9. by   traumaRUs
    Ok back to the topic at hand - triage complaints. If you wish to discuss medicaid and/or insurance issues, please start another thread - thanks everyone.
  10. by   CoffeeGeekRN
    I've got one. Pt CC, "I need crackers. If you don't give me crackers now I'll turn into a transvestite!" I can't make this stuff up.
  11. by   psu_213
    "I've had abdominal pain and vomiting for months. I see my doctor tomorrow, but I can't wait that long. I had to come to the ER now 60 days in a row." (my emphasis...but she did say 'had')

    Well, she was not lying about the 60 days in a row part. P.S she had to come each of those days by ambulance--sometimes multiple times each day to multiple ERs. Each by EMS.
  12. by   BostonTerrierLoverRN
    "If we run to McDonalds, will we loose our place in line?"

    "I didn't have the cap screwed on the Fleets good, (darn) thing shot up in there like a rocket!"

    "I lost the cotton off this Q-tip, and couldn't find it anywhere,..." (Me reaching for the otoscope)..."actually your not going to need that, 'I' need a gown."

    -Assessing Hemorrhoids, and seen a string coming out! (On a Guy!!) Now I understand why Tampons say "Use as Directed."

    "Did you guys order a..." "Over hear!,.." Guy in waiting area to Pizza Guy.

    I'll never forget this New Nurse who came out of a known seekers room after an IV attempt.
    "You get it go'n?" (Me)
    "He took it from me, got the return, and slid the catheter in on his own before I could even react! It was just my second attempt!" (Nursling)
    "You must have told him he would get the med as soon as you got the IV in." (Me- Going to check site)
    "Yeah,..It looks good, he got it as soon as he grabbed it!" (Nursling)
    "Mr. Doe, can I see your..." (Me)
    "Yeah," slinging arm toward me, "you bring my shot?" (Mr. Doe)
    "Look, he even got the Heplock set on there! Are you a Nurse or EMT?"
    Asked the Nursling.
    "No baby, you just gotta' keep practicing" (Mr. Doe)
    Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Jan 8, '13
  13. by   CrunchRN
    LOL!!!! And scary too.