Dumbest Pt Family Statement or Question

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okay, we have the chart what you could if you could get away with it thread so this is my curious question because well read for yourself....

pt's family member said "he doesn't breathe well with out his nasal cannula." in response trying to leave out a smart ass tone i stated, " i know, that's why i put o2 on him flowing at 2l so his sats increase from 88% to 96%. please leave it on him.":icon_roll:icon_roll

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Earlier this year, young male patient intubated, vented, multiple infusions, with traumatic brain injury caused when he fell off a roof during a robbery. Not doing very well. We had 'that' conversation with the family, that if he lived he would be profoundly brain damaged and have no meaningful quality of life.

They asked if he could have a brain transplant.

What do you say to that?

we had a family do that too.

I also had a woman staring at her dad's monitor and turn to me and ask "Is my dad dead?"

No, he is alive, but being supported by the vent and any medications.

I had to walk away and laugh I couldn't help it. The man wasn't doing well, but still he was alive. My first thought was "Nope he is dead, and we are keeping all the fake vs on the monitor and the vent going so we don't have to take a new admit, and we enjoy your crazy questions."

In all honesty I think it was her backwards way of asking if he was brain dead.

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

A 50 something year old woman was afraid to hold her sisters hand "I cant afford to catch it right now, I am getting ready to go on vacation next week". Her sister had a stroke. I explained what a stroke was and soon to be vacationing sister said "ya well I have always wanted to go to the ocean, I am not going to risk it"

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

Just thought of another one---pt was extubated on Friday, there had been some discussion amongst daughters on code status prior to intubation. Sunday comes around and after about 50 family members filter in and out of the room the 3 daughters come up to the nursing desk and announce "we are ready now" Ready? I reply "to pull the plug" ---ummm your dad is on 4L Nasal Canula, there is really no plug per say to pull" ---they had decided they no longer wanted any measures to keep him alive.

My co nurse was giggeling and when they walked away said "you could have suggested to draw the curtains and give them a big pillow to place over his face!"

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BWAAAAAHHHH...."The Plug" I've had people aske me where and what it was. Most often they are pointing to the bed, or TV plugged into the wall. Like if they pull that "plug" they will immediatly die.

Tube feeder for many months, NPO pt and will always be NPO...daughter calls in weekly to ask if she is eating food.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Really sad situation. Father of baby not employed was taking care of baby while Mom worked her a$$ off at the mill. Baby wouldn't stop crying so dad put the child into a sleeper hold. Respiratory arrest, drove past two police stations to bring the non-breathing baby into the hospital 45 miles from home.

Says that if we warm up the room the baby will come back to life. Said he saw it done with a kitten on the Discovery Channel so he knew it would work.

Also wanted us to transplant some of his brain cells into the baby's head. Yeah, right, like this poor little guy needs YOUR intellect after all you have done to him.

That was the only little guy I carried out the door of the ER with the coroner following me.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, Heme/Onc.

"I read on the internet that normal potassium values are between 3.2 and 5.0, my bloodwork showed 3.1 (hands me the outpatient lab report in triage) and my doctor sent me in right away for a STAT potassium rider".

"My doctor wants to be called right away, she sent me over". Usually our ED docs call the PMDs to discuss admission vs. follow-up -etc. But a well meaning manager was on the floor helping us and she came over to me with a phone number and asked me to call this particular doc. (Patient's wife already told me numerous times to have the doc paged, but I had no information to give the doc other than "he's here"). So I called. Luckily, a well known admitting doc who said "OK, 'MD aware', have a nice evening and have Dr. XYZ call me when he's worked up."

"I can't be pregnant!! My husband and I haven't slept together in years!"

Blee

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Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

I don't CARE if you are taking care of that patient (while the code bells are ringing and crash cart in the room next door with MANY nurses/doctors running in and out) my mom needs fresh water and ice, NOW.:rolleyes:

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When can he be circumsized?! - Dad asking about his new son as he is .. being intubated after birth..

This might not be as dumb as it seems.

A circumcision is performed 8 days after birth. It is considered so important among orthodox Jews, that, if the eighth day falls on the Sabbath, it's not only permissible, but mandatory to break Sabbath to perform it. The only excuse is the baby's poor health.

So, assuming that the questioner was a religious person, his asking about his intubated son's health isn't really all that dumb.

MG

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Me: You're going to have your gallbladder taken out

Patient: The whole thing???

Me: do you know what dose of the medicationo you take?

Patient: yes it's half a pill.

Me: Which dose is the pill?

Patient, sounding annoyed: You know! The white round one.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Pts son approached nursing staion at dinner time and wanted to know if there was a choice of potato because his mom didn't like the mashed with her meal.

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Specializes in Public Health, TB.

I get this one at least once a week. Patient admitted to cardiac floor, either direct admit or from ED. One of the first questions asked by the family: "When will they be discharged?"

Uh, we are still doing tests, the admitting Dr. hasn't seen them yet, I'm not even sure what's wrong with them, your guess is as good as mine.

Of course this is all in the little thought bubble above my head. What I usually say is something like we will know more when the test results come back, but they will be spending the night for sure.

One creepy family demanded daily for grandma's discharge so that she could watch the grandkids, by the looks of their teeth so they could do meth. Grandma had had a massive MI, bypass surgery and had an A!C of 10 on admit.

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

Elderly woman with breast ca recurrance with mets to liver, brain, bones, lungs, pancreas, kidneys. Basically unresponsive and looking like she was ready to code two weeks ago. Docs had been unable to get ahold of her daughter, who was DPOA, because she was enroute from out of town. Anticipating that the woman was going to die in a short amount of time, I asked about code status: "I'm sorry, but the doctors have all agreed that you're mother's chances of pulling through this to go home are extremely slim. I really need to find out what her wishes were regarding CPR."

Daughter's response: "Of course we want CPR and that shocky thing, but don't do anything if she dies."

Me: "I'm so sorry that you've been misinformed, but we only do CPR on dead people."

Thus followed a long conversation where the decision was made (thank all the gods) to make poor mom a comfort measures only.

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