I kept on hearing from fellow classmates that superiors and fellow nurses bully their young. Not in terms of physical bullying, but psychological. I don't understand this at all. Could someone please emphasize or provide any examples? Also, what offers them the motive to bully? Were they insecure during your youth?
I also heard that the bullying in Nursing is far more abundant than any other profession. My professors have joked that I will most likely not be bullied because I am 6'5 265 lbs and they will be intimidated. But, I don't understand this. Could someone please provide some advice on how to avoid this bullying treatment from other nurses? My entire class was talking about it, yet I had no idea about bullying within the Nursing circle until two days ago.
Random question, do Physicians get bullied around? or is that nearly impossible since their on the top of the food chain?
When this occurs most of the time it can be ignored. If you have supervision that will work to improve the situation you can often have a better situation. I had a small teamwork issue that aired in front of several coworkers, I fianally had to write a letter that the DON read and commented on. The situation also involved an apology pleading health issues that helped create the non team work attitude.
@ our facility, in long term care we have audio and video recording in key places.
All of these factors helped to create a better out come. The person was able to have less influence on me and the situation improved.
Usually a Bully will do one on one and go behind the scenes to undercut the target of thier bullying. If the bully has long association with the administration the out come can be poor for the bullied.
Decide what you are willing to take, address the matter to the bully, and try to work with the administration, and decide when you walk.
Well, I always say I'm blessed in SO many ways, and after reading many (but not all) of these replies, I realize I have another WONDERFUL blessing....I have worked with GREAT people (for the most part---there's always one or two or five bad apples in every bunch!)
I've worked in a large hospital and 3 smaller ones....and honestly, I have NEVER been bullied, even as a new grad. I tend to get along very well with *almost* all kinds of personalities. That's not to say I haven't run into rude people here and there, but it's been rare, and I just avoided them when possible. In the large hospital where I worked, there were just a couple nurses who were mean to the new grads, and I always felt so bad for them.
I hope you get this blessing that I've had and have WONDERFUL, NICE preceptors who don't mind questions, that understand that you're nervous and afraid to make errors, and whose main concern is the PATIENT!!! :heartbeat Ugh, I always say if we're there for the patient and concerned about doing what's right for them, who has time for stupid, petty things like back-stabbing and bullying? We have GREAT teamwork where I am now, and we actually did have a "bully", but....guess what----she's GONE!!!
Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
I will most likely not be bullied because I am 6'5 265 lbs and they will be intimidated.
Random question, do Physicians get bullied around? or is that nearly impossible since their on the top of the food chain?
1) You're generally correct, it is less a problem for men. Having said that, the caveat is never leave your backside uncovered. Do your job, do it professionally, do it well. Keep your mouth shut about personal things- particularly your marriage/girlfriend(s).
I'm not keen on the term "bullying", and especially not, "lateral violence". Violence is a physical act- if you experience it, (and if you stage the interaction properly) you have the legal right/ability to whup some a-hss. "Bullying" is unprofessional conduct, malfeasance, wilful endangerment, maybe a few other legally defined acts that may be prosecuted, if properly documented. Call it what it is, don't try to change definitions to suit the social climate.
2) Yes, MDs may be on the receiving end of bullying, especially if they are not "fairly assertive". IME, more commonly, they are the ones doing the bullying. This is less a problem for men (again) because we may raise the spectre of latent violence.
Men interact differently than women. If you can verbally whip someone's psyche into a bloody froth and physically throw them through a door it tends to de-animate their drive for dominance. If you aren't smart enough (for lack of a better phrase)to know your policy & procedure and verbally defend yourself within that context, and verbally slam-dunk personal jibes, life may be difficult, as women are more relational/verbal.
in answer to your question: yes, it happens; no, not everywhere; yes, some people are oblivious to it for any number of reasons; no, it's not inevitable.
i find the people who do the best in what is in oh-so-trendy-talk called a "toxic" environment are those who have a good sense of self but not that me-me-me self-esteem crap, didn't expect the big trophy just for being there, didn't have helicopter or snowplow parents*, and lost the victim mentality sometime after they got out of ninth grade. be a grown-up. nobody can chew on you if you're tough .
* the ones who hover and the ones who remove all obstacles
1) You're generally correct, it is less a problem for men. Having said that, the caveat is never leave your backside uncovered. Do your job, do it professionally, do it well. Keep your mouth shut about personal things- particularly your marriage/girlfriend(s).
I'm not keen on the term "bullying", and especially not, "lateral violence". Violence is a physical act- if you experience it, (and if you stage the interaction properly) you have the legal right/ability to whup some a-hss. "Bullying" is unprofessional conduct, malfeasance, wilful endangerment, maybe a few other legally defined acts that may be prosecuted, if properly documented. Call it what it is, don't try to change definitions to suit the social climate.
2) Yes, MDs may be on the receiving end of bullying, especially if they are not "fairly assertive". IME, more commonly, they are the ones doing the bullying. This is less a problem for men (again) because we may raise the spectre of latent violence.
Men interact differently than women. If you can verbally whip someone's psyche into a bloody froth and physically throw them through a door it tends to de-animate their drive for dominance. If you aren't smart enough (for lack of a better phrase)to know your policy & procedure and verbally defend yourself within that context, and verbally slam-dunk personal jibes, life may be difficult, as women are more relational/verbal.
I agree with you Rob72. I just started at an assisted living center and we have a nice looking younger male LPN and he is a great nurse and is fairly new to nursing as well. When you and others are speaking of bullying it is looked at as negative attention and sometimes I think it can be what might be positive attention they think to this person. Other than me and the other nurses and the DNS there all the young females and all the kitchen staff especially try to flirt with this young man and say things like I will only be nice to you ( meaning other female nurses) if you are working with him. He was orientating me and he looked over at me and said thank you for treating me like a colleague and not a person to be flirted with at work. I got to thinking on the way home this problem most likely causes him distress and I cant help but think if it was the other way around these females would be screaming sexual harrassment and it is probably that. I told him to say if something people said to him made him uncomfortable to tell them to stop. So see bullying comes in many forms. I felt bad for the kid. He is a good nurse and I will say none of the nurses there flirt with him because we are professionals. It just looks bad in front of residents as well those folks are not demented and its their home as well.
It's a real mess ... this cultural stuff in nursing.
This is what I've worked out:
1. Most of us contribute to the problem.
We; sit on the fence, are apathetic, look the other way, pick our battles (wait for the big one yet continue to tolerate all the lower and mid level harrassment that comes our way) or are the bullies themselves.
2. Many or us fail to accurately assess the situation
Was it bullying .... or was the person rude? are they are a jerk? perhaps they are just not a very nice person? Are they racist? Sexist?
Did I misunderstand?
3. Many women in our work area (include clerks, aides etc) have a social problem. They have never learned how to deal with conflict (real or imagined) beyond that of a catty 12 yr old girl. Hence they swing into action with some very immature and pathetic behaviour
4. Men are generally treated more nicely by the bullies
5. Tackling the problem requires people to desist from mentioning the social problem. People should concentrate on identifying the behaviour and then match directly to organisational policy.
These women are socially ignorant and we can get into hot water when we go there. Just stick to highlighting their behaviour and stay away from the reasons for it.
We risk a harrassment charge ourselves when we state or allude to the fact that some of our coworkers have the sophistication level of a socially undeveloped 12 yr old bully girl
Absolutely bullying occurs in nursing and unfortunately some of it begins in nursing school among students, clinical instructors, faculty members, and nurses at the clinical facility. The best way to avoid it? Try to stay away from the cliques and don't participate in any of the gossip sessions that regularly occur.
Bully in Nursing is a relatively common thing. Most big nurses dont want the junior nurses to grow. Like in the hospital wher am training now, a senior and big nurse who's got just an RN wouldnt want to set her eyes on a junior nurse who's got her Bachelors. They say ''nurses are like crabs'' i'l explain that... When put 2 crabs in a bucket and travel for a year, u'd come back and meet them there, because when one crab tries to climb out, the other pulls it down..
there is a book called " difficult people".... get it and read it.MEMORIZE IT--- learn how to spot the difference between a sniper and tank and yes man and no answer man.... will tell you specifically HOW to deal with each type of bully........FOLLOW THE BOOK's directions/ suggestions....
sadly, i HAD to read the book just in the past year because i could not figure out my current bosses modus operandi......( in 27 years i had not ever seen such wretched behavior)
discovered managers style ......got it covered... no sneak attacks...
and just remember when someone says some thing happened/accusation
remember to treat it like pain management " i need to know where, when , who, date, time, and place".....lies tend to fall to the curb when you request information such as this.......
and always remember that you can ask for human resources to be there to talk to management/ person/coworker...( of course that opens a whole 'nother can o worms)...
read everything you can get your hands and eyes on regarding bullies........
Bully in Nursing is a relatively common thing. Most big nurses dont want the junior nurses to grow. Like in the hospital wher am training now, a senior and big nurse who's got just an RN wouldnt want to set her eyes on a junior nurse who's got her Bachelors. They say ''nurses are like crabs'' i'l explain that... When put 2 crabs in a bucket and travel for a year, u'd come back and meet them there, because when one crab tries to climb out, the other pulls it down..
Love your crab analogie. lol. Spot on. Haha. Now when I call them crabby it will have a whole new meaning.
there is a book called " difficult people".... get it and read it.MEMORIZE IT--- learn how to spot the difference between a sniper and tank and yes man and no answer man.... will tell you specifically HOW to deal with each type of bully........FOLLOW THE BOOK's directions/ suggestions....
sadly, i HAD to read the book just in the past year because i could not figure out my current bosses modus operandi......( in 27 years i had not ever seen such wretched behavior)
discovered managers style ......got it covered... no sneak attacks...
and just remember when someone says some thing happened/accusation
remember to treat it like pain management " i need to know where, when , who, date, time, and place".....lies tend to fall to the curb when you request information such as this.......
and always remember that you can ask for human resources to be there to talk to management/ person/coworker...( of course that opens a whole 'nother can o worms)...
read everything you can get your hands and eyes on regarding bullies........
Who wrote it? I tried to google there are a lot of similar titles.
No one bullies me at work. You'll only be bullied if you allow yourself to be bullied. A confident, assertive demeanor goes a long way toward stopping crap like that.
Well, sometimes the little 1.5# baby girls take advantage of me, but that's about all.
We have GREAT teamwork where I am now, and we actually did have a "bully", but....guess what----she's GONE!!! 
ursus57
49 Posts
When this occurs most of the time it can be ignored. If you have supervision that will work to improve the situation you can often have a better situation. I had a small teamwork issue that aired in front of several coworkers, I fianally had to write a letter that the DON read and commented on. The situation also involved an apology pleading health issues that helped create the non team work attitude.
@ our facility, in long term care we have audio and video recording in key places.
All of these factors helped to create a better out come. The person was able to have less influence on me and the situation improved.
Usually a Bully will do one on one and go behind the scenes to undercut the target of thier bullying. If the bully has long association with the administration the out come can be poor for the bullied.
Decide what you are willing to take, address the matter to the bully, and try to work with the administration, and decide when you walk.
Many times a person will choose to walk.