We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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Me: Oh hey, I just restarted the neosynephrine on this patient because his MAP was hanging out in the 50s. Didn't realize the order was D/Ced already - looks like I'm practicing medicine without a license again.
MD: Sounds like you need to be paddled. I'd offer, but you'd probably like it.
Me: It's probably a whole lot less work to just put the order in.
MD: Yeah, I don't really feel like getting up anyway. Order's in!
I work with a bunch of flirts. They're all hilarious, though. :)
Someone accidentally gave an enema with the cap still on and we had to inform the doctor. He fell out of his chair laughing and said "you bust a cap in his ass"
I had a patient I was really concerned about. I had been talking to the doctor on the phone for a while about her. Her blood sugar kept dropping but she was alert and talking . I had checked with several glucometers with same result. It was on a Saturday at a Nursing Home. I went back to check on my patient and when I entered the room the doctor was there on his phone making her a direct admit. I thought he is so special, because how many NH docs will do that?
We had a patient with an small abscess on her tail bone. While he explained how sweat getting in the crease is a contributing factor he said, "this is a common occurrence when you have an apple bottom." I wasn't sure if I should be impressed the 68 year old doctor knew that phrase or embarrassed for the teen whos face than turned apple red.
As a fairly new nurse my patient was a mother who had delivered approx 10 hrs prior. She was in a lot of pain and when I assessed her perineum I noted a very large firm area that I suspected was possibly a hematoma but there was no discoloration so I wasn't sure, but I knew something was very wrong. I got my senior co-worker to come assess and she agreed it was a hematoma and the dr needed to come in asap as the patient would likely need to be taken to the OR.
When I called the dr I told him my assessment and stated "both 'Mary' and I agree you need to come and assess her immediately" The doctor stated "oh put a bag of peas on it" :| Confused I stated I already had tried both perineal pad ice packs and then actual ice in a bag and nothing was giving any relief or making any change. Reluctantly he came in to assess. Walking down the hall to the patient's room, he again says "I told you, all she needs is a bag of peas on it" and getting annoyed I state "Well just look at it please". 2 seconds after examining her perineum he turns around to me, with a surprised look on his face and says "Oh, we will need to go to the OR to evacuate this.. Please call the supervisor".
Awhile later when he returns from the OR to chart, he sheepishly states "... and I said put a bag of peas on it.."
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Kfonz515
3 Posts
I have often heard it said by surgeons when
operating , "Give me what I need, not what
I ask for!".