Doctors Say the Darnedest Things

[allnurses]

We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!

Winner will be announced May 16, 2017

UPDATE May 19, 2017:

The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:

I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out

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[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

"Are you sure it's in the right hole?" As he tugs on a foley in a mans member....

ROFLMBO

And just think - it's almost July 1.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Pt needed an NG tube. I really didn't want to do it. Gave it to the resident. You do it, no-you do it, no-you do it, you're the doctor-I'm not a doctor, I'm a psychiatrist!. ROFL. My favorite

Psychiatrists seem to have pride in saying they are psychiatrists and know little or nothing about Med/Surg. Wonder if they are really proud or embarrassed or what?

[Edna55]

While doing my stress test the Cardiologist burst in and said, " are you dead yet?"

[Hcrn901]

On a psych ward, patient says to a resident: "Do you know who my family is? You can't put me on a 72hr-hold!"

Resident states: "I don't care whose lady partslly you fell from, you're not safe to be with them."

Needless to say, resident was reprimanded by consultant upon returning to the conference room!

[Martyn2015]

Your not breathing well, you have a PE, we will thrombolise you after you go into cardiac arrest

[sharouff]

We had an attention seeking person in the ER that would only "seize" when someone walked by or entered the bay. The doctor wasn't curious about the situation so he walked into the bay and the person started seizing and flailing. With a foley in hand the doctor said "if you don't stop that right now I'm going to put this catheter in you!". The patient stopped "seizing" sat right up in bed and didn't seize again for the rest of their ER visit.

we might have to have our PA who helps run the RE use that one!

[Catshor]

We had something that needed to be gas sterilized so it couldn't be ready for his case and he stated..."flame it, flame it". Now the nurses of today will not know what he meant, but the nurses of yesteryear will.

[AMcCRN]

Helping out another nurse and told doctor about abnormal lab and doctor replied "not my problem tell someone who cares"

[mikajean08]

One of the providers I work with will Always say "coming out!" when they're finished with the pelvic exam. After 5 years, it still embarrasses both me and the patients.

[Anbraun]

"Do not joke, smile or laugh with the patient. He needs to know I'm serious." Ummm... I'm a nurse that's in my blood.

[Pwoodyrn2]

Rounding with medical students and the pediatric hospitalist, they (hospitalist)stated the child was a FLK. Funny lookin kid.... just a statement to fore warn them before the omg look that may happen. After rounding the medical student put the flk in

her h & p...she didn't understand that this was not a medical diagnosis. Oh boy!

[CathyB]

The Pedi doc was called late for a scheduled cesarean and walks in the OR saying that he was in the shower when they called and then went on to comment about how unimpressive he was.