Doctors Say the Darnedest Things

[allnurses]

We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!

Winner will be announced May 16, 2017

UPDATE May 19, 2017:

The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:

I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out

2017 National Nurses Week - 7 Days of Giveaways

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[CY520257]

Calling a Dr. On night about a patient. Sleepy I am sure. After telling him the situation he asked me what would l do. I made a suggestion and he said that sounds good do it. OK on with my job.

[nostee]

While a surgeon was performing hysterectomy, he says "bad girls has babies, good girls has fibroid".

[Cstigile]

"Are you sure it's in the right hole?" As he tugs on a foley in a mans member....

[melkafelka]

"This flashlight never works!"

Turns out he was clicking his pen, rather than the flashlight hahah.

[caramelsmile40]

"If you don't change your lifestyle, you are going to die"

[bhrn2017]

I have long hair.. my Pt had an IV in her foot and as i was flushing it she saw my name badge dangling from my scrub top.. She said "oh, is that a picture of your wife"???...."um, no ma'am, that's me".

This was 2 years ago and I still laugh about it. 😂😂😂

[CristanNoel]

I was reading the ems transfer form that the doctor had filled out, under possible complications during transport he written down every complication he could think of but my favorites were "alien abduction" and "transformers"

[jlehman937]

After a long run of rounds as a new nurse I went back to the nursing station with the doctor to write orders and to chart. As I begin to describe a wound my mind went blank as I could not remember the word purulent. And as God is my witness I asked the doctor behind me and he said just put P-u-s-s-y������ Like puss but with the damn Y!!!! And you could only imagine my shock as I started to write what he was telling me and I stopped and looked at him and my eyes were as big as 50 Cent pieces. I didn't know if he was serious or joking and no offense his accent didn't help because he was from India and he was very hard to understand because of his strong, strong accent . I turned my chair right back around as fast as I could made one nice cross through that word and initialed it then spelled purulent like it was MY NAME! ������������

[jevers1]

I was explaining information to the physician and got tongue tied. After discussion was over, I said that I liked to be confusing when I can. He thanked me as he walked away.

[Donitajoy]

I had a doctor make rounds only to say I was over medicating his patient. I was following his orders. 😏

[robynzaruches]

I'm not really a dr I just play one on tv

[BridgingTheGap]

*Family Practice*

MD:

[After listening to a patient's lengthy and very unreasonable list of very specific requests]

"And I want a pot of gold!"