We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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Working with a first year GI med student...the patient on my assignment had a fecal management system in place. So the med student came up to me and asked "where is the rectal tube?" 😂 So I shook my head and proceeded to tell him where he could find it!
Dr doing a pelvic on a person who was frequently in our facility. Dr looks at pt says "nice hair cut!" Almost choked on my tongue! pt had just gotten a new doo on her head! Poor timing on providers part....
"That patients on bedrest right? You need to walk her." Uummmm doc...she's been on bedrest since her stroke 2 years ago so maybe we could order some PT but I don't think we should try to walk her today.
I was working in OB/GYN. A lady came in for her yearly pap smear. Right before the doctor started she said I'm sorry if my lady parts smells like fish I had a fish sandwich for dinner and it made my lady parts smells like fish. The doctor said oh no problem my wife had onions last night and now my private smells like onion. I about died!
Same OB/GYN doc a different patient. I grabbed the chart it had SPIES written on the chart. I asked the doctor why does it say spies on this chart. He said oh no are we seeing that patient today? I said yes. He was like dang...it means Stinkiest Patient I Ever Saw. So I put spies on the chart so I know to brace myself when she comes in. I haven't seen her in years.
Saw a doctor I worked with in the grocery store and he said to me ' I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on.' Oh the looks I got from those around me that heard him say that.
I had a doc say that to me in an elevator full of my family members once!
On a surgeons written orders for a dressing change. "Clean the ***** area with sterile water then apply dry sterile 4x4"....pretty sure he meant pus or better yet exudate since the patient was male....
Female patient came with complaints of abdominal pain and the Doctor examined her and said your suffering from FOS she said what? He said your literally full of s---!
I had a resident who asked if she could have a glass of wine or a beer occasionally. I messaged the dr and he said "sure who am I to deny her of that". I asked him if he wanted me to put a limit on it and he said "no more than 1 case of beer, 1 bottle of whiskey or 2 bottles of wine per day, we have to set limits for these people you know". I messaged him back thanks for making my night.
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DeBeagle
3 Posts
I used to work in an OR. Sage advice one day from one of our colorectal surgeons: "Don't do deep knee bends in a cucumber field."