Doctors Say the Darnedest Things

pcrosby66 · May 8, 2017

Oh after 35 years, I should have a ton of these and I'm sure they will come to me. This is 1 that I don't really find humorous but more unbelievable! A doctor was seeing 6 month old baby in the ER, she had a severe rash on her face, a fever and had been sick for several days. He told the mom to take her home, give her benedryl and Tylenol and put lotion on her rash because after all if a baby is still able smile, even a little, they are fine! I reported him and the baby ended up hospitalized for a week and almost died!

pcrosby66 · May 8, 2017

I entered an elderly patients room to remove her from bedpan. Found her pulseless and non breathing. I called a code and started CPR. With the first compression I felt and heard every bone break. My compressions than were less deep. The code team arrived and the resident yelled "deeper compressions". I stated, " no, you can do them". He did 1 compression, stepped away and said, "no, you can do them."

Amore13 · May 8, 2017

Working for a gyn doc

After a pelvic exan on a patient

Dr "She has SUIT"

Me huh

Dr " something up in there"

Tlcthatsme26 · May 8, 2017

" I don't talk to patients "

Cettafire · May 8, 2017

That parent is neuropenic

Mksbarrios · May 8, 2017

Me: "doc, this baby needs some supplementation due to weight loss"

doc: "ok, give it some milk"

me: "what type of milk would you like me to order"

doc: "cows milk"

me: "excuse me"

doc: "you know, formula..."

Kmgray22 · May 8, 2017

Your fingers are smaller just reach up in there and see if you can get ahold of it!

Mleighc16 · May 9, 2017

Oops!

Nursebsn92 · May 9, 2017

Called a doctor to get orders for a patient in severe pain gave him recommendations he choose to give me an order with a pain med the patient was allergic to. I told him her allergies and he said put in what ever you want and hanged up. Told my charge that I wanted to put in that communication order to show what happened but sadly no had to just call a dr above him To get the pt help.

3ringnursing, BSN · May 9, 2017

Working with a doc who doesn't always use English the correct way. 'staring into space' me:what can I help with? Doc: "I didn't sleep much, I'm feeling, how you say, woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" Me:feisty? Doc: feisty? No, grunchy! Me: that's not a word doc: laughing, now it is :) he meant grumpy and grouchy all in one

That's called a "Sniglet" (like "musquirt": Musquirt (mus' kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of the initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.

Sniglets

esf7702 · May 9, 2017

Being in nursing almost 20 years. I have heard some pretty crazy things. I have narrowed it to two instances.

The first occurred when I was a relatively young nurse, working a medical surgical floor. I was caring for a patient with sickle cell, who developed a priapism. The urologist who performed a blood releasing procedure early in the day called to check in on his patient... he said I'm calling to get a pecker check, I want to know if he half mast or full mast still.

Recently had an anesthesiologist ask. " smoke drink, do any illicit drugs, have any tattoos, have any body piercings" patient: " no" anesthesiologist: " well what do you do for fun"

mandysue1223 · May 9, 2017

"On a scale of 0-10, 10 being your arm is stuck in a meat grinder kind of pain, what is your pain?"