So I'm a young, single, heterosexual male nurse, and I'm well aware that I'm somewhat of a minority, as most nurses are female, and the ones that aren't, are often gay (yes, I know that is just a silly stereotype, and there's nothing wrong with being gay, but that's beside my point).
Thing is, I'm not even remotely feminine- I have a beard, I listen to heavy metal, I climb mountains, I work out, etcetera. But I get paranoid that most people probably perceive me as a little "girly" or "possibly homosexual", when I talk about being a nurse. I feel especially insecure about my masculinity when I'm walking home wearing my uniform past some heavy set dudes doing roadworks or construction or something "manly". Sometimes, I've even lied about studying nursing at uni- I've sometimes said I'm studying engineering, to seem more masculine.
I'm not ashamed of being a nurse- I'm damn proud! But I feel a little insecure due to the silly non-masculine stereotypes associated with my career choice. I'm also single and looking for a girlfriend, but I sense that women might think I'm gay, or unmanly, due to my profession. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Anyway, my main question is- ladies, do you find male nurses attractive? Do you like the idea of a man taking care of you? Or does it seem unmanly and unattractive?
You have got to own who you are if you can't feel comfortable walking in your own scrubs girls are going to run or try to be your mommy...
When people ask you what you do for a living just tell him with pride you're a nurse your valuable part of the Healthcare System you are in a good wage and you have the potential to move up to a six-figure salary. If girls don't find a confident man sexy who can take care of a family and treat them right I don't know what does.
Amen to that NurseShawn. Get your experience, concentrate on being the most competent, giving, knowledgeable, helpful RN you can be. Work different areas to get a very broad base of knowledge, dive in and learn. Call yourself RN that is what you are. Be open to as much as you can and don't take any guff from anyone. I don't mean attack people, stand up for what you are. You will be the sexiest thing on the block. I think in reading this thread one thing stands out to me, sexy and attractive is not appearance. Sexy and attractive are qualities that touch some one else deeply. You do not have to be the most handsome, the most virile, you have to be genuine. My husband was a paramedic, he was not the most handsome guy. He was however a very open, giving, compassionate, hardworking person I think I ever knew. What makes some one attractive is not the outside package, it is the inside qualities that shines through.
I am glad you asked. Of the first few male nurses I met in school, 1 was gay, the rest clearly hetero (you describe yourself as clearly hetero too). Most women have no trouble sensing the difference. Going out on a limb here, I think most men recognize who is gay as well. I really enjoy working with male nurses, of both sexual orientations; men bring great balance to the units. The extreme macho-types who gay bash are also the ones who "cat call" and harass women as they walk by. We're trying to figure out how to deal with them too. But they do not define the kind of women we are. Don't let their perceptions and ignorance rob you of your peace.
I have not read through all of the 222 posts so I hope I am not reposting something. In an emergency, for example a patient is coding, I don't care if you are male, female, black, white, handsome, or ugly, gay or straight. I just want you to know what you are doing, so we can attempt to save a life.
Specializes in Home Health, Mental/Behavioral Health.
OP, I unconsciously elected to measure my own 'manliness' by a different yardstick many years ago, but I understand that not everyone is like me. Much of my history and interests put me squarely in the 'man's man' realm, but I thoroughly enjoy challenging that social construct when something atypical suites me. I learned to sew to fix my damaged outdoor gear. I've gone around in public with painted nails courtesy of my wife and daughter. I think it's cool that one of my sons likes rainbows. I excelled in my OB/GYN rotations in school and in caring for laboring moms or for kids in my short years in ED. Blah, Blah, Blah. My comfort within my own skin is what makes me manly.
Specializes in Pediatrics, Women's Health, Education.
I don't think it should be a problem at all. I personally would not hold it against a man for being a nurse. I actually know at least 3 couples who met while in nursing school! What are the chances?
You do realize that dictionary.com doesn't create language? Language means what people use it to mean. Note the recent evolution of the word "literally." I owe you no references. No one owes you references.
On your thread "Some days......" you said:
"Some days, I just don't get it. If there's anything that occasionally causes me to re-think my participation here, it is the fact that reality-based, honest answers are so often derided as rude & .....wait for it.....NETY. In some folks' worlds, the only good answer is a sugar-coated, rose-colored view of the nursing profession. Anything else is mean, rude & sarcastic. In my world, honest, realistic answers are the kindest, most thoughtful way to communicate with those who have questions. In my world, I would be doing a disservice to those who have questions if I did not tell the truth. "
You will never dissuade me from believing that replying to people who disagree with you by accusing them of being mentally deficient is rude. Your idea of reality-based, honest answers apparently includes denying that human interaction is imprecise, denying that language is fluid, and refusing to believe that other people can bloody well disagree with you without deficient reasoning or now, apparently being delusional. And you got a LOT of support.... and you keep making comments about how oh no, now you're going to be accused of NETY for being so terribly honest! When will the delicate little flowers toughen up and realize that your personal attacks are designed to improve them!
"Don't like the answers? Simple! Don't read 'em! No need to dictate to the rest of the Internet."
When it's you not liking other people's comments & attitudes you make a thread about it, but when people disagree with you they're supposed to just shush and move along? I'll do as you wish though, because it's not worth the heartburn (Don't worry, you don't literally give me heartburn. Or maybe you do. Because according to the dictionary, I can use it either way.) and I've decided it's time to edit the "ignore user" list.
_______________________
I said that the OP seems to be preoccupied with maintaining a caricature of masculinity and that it was too bad he comes from a culture that encourages that and that tries to correlate said caricature with sexuality. I was then asked if I was, in fact, biologically male and transgender.
I said that despite the wording I did not get the sense that OP was some kind of sexual deviant. I was then told that there was no other POSSIBLE accurate interpretation.
I then responded to the questions literally and was told (by someone who, I'll repeat, has said it's not rape to have sex with an unconscious person) that no woman ever is allowed to request female-only caregivers or we're grossly sexist.
GOLD STAR to AN for this quality content!
OP, if you check back in and sift through the baloney, I hope you take heart in the fact that many women have zero issue with a potential partner being a male nurse and that some could specifically find it attractive. That there are plenty of male nurses who are secure in their profession, identity, and sexuality. That you will be just fine once you move on from worrying about appearances so much.
Exactly. I'm attracted to the person, not the profession. I have been told before that I am a bit too independent. I consider myself confident and aware of who I am and what I want. I am not attracted to insecure people especially men I might consider dating. I want a person who knows who they are and what they want in a mate. Insecurity always strikes me as a weakness. Insecure women irritate me too.
As a gay female, no I do not find male nurses, or any males, attractive. But that's really beside the point. The most disturbing part of your post to me is that you somehow imply that a male nurse who is gay and feminine is somehow something to be ashamed of, and how quickly people are jumping on board to shout out loud how all the male nurses they know are both straight and manly just to make sure everyone knows that they're not...you know....*gasp*...GAY!. Well, that's peachy but I know plenty of gay, feminine male nurses, and they're quite frankly just as worthy. Being a feminine gay male, or a masculine gay female, is not inferior nor something to be ashamed of. Your innate prejudice is showing and that's the unattractive part. If you are so worried about what other people think about you based on your outward appearance and career choice, it suggests you have some growing up to do. And incidentally, did it occur to you that there are also "manly", bearded gay men out there who would probably make you look like a little girl in comparison? Those pesky stereotypes are so inconvenient sometimes.
roser13, ASN, RN
6,504 Posts
Seriously, this thread needs to be done.