Bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are still very much stigmatized in many healthcare settings. Moreover, some physical ailments carry a stigma. Do you disclose your health problems to your employer? Do you disclose your prescribed medications?
Toni (not her real name) was an average-height woman in her late 40s with a medium build, gray eyes and dark brown hair that fell several inches below her shoulders. She was a floor LVN at the same specialty rehab hospital where I still work. And she was one of the most proficient, highly skilled nurses I had ever met. With nearly 30 years of experience, this woman was a valuable resource who could run circles around virtually every other nurse on the unit. It's unfortunate I only got to work with her for a grand total of three months.
Toni lacked a verbal filter. She talked too much about her personal issues: the perpetually unemployed husband who cheated on her, the slacker adult children, and so forth. Once she revealed to her coworkers that she had bipolar disorder, they began to whisper to themselves, "This woman is so crazy!" As soon as she disclosed that she was not being treated for her issue, some coworkers placed a bulls-eye on her back and began to target her. And eight years of dedicated employment went down the drain as she was forced to resign over a questionable accusation made by a student nurse who was completing clinical rotations in the facility.
Prior to Toni's revelation that she suffered from bipolar disorder, no one bothered her.
Bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are still stigmatized in healthcare settings, whether or not anyone wants to believe it. I am cognizant that many state boards of nursing require nurses to disclose certain mental illnesses. However, if management or the employee health department at your place of employment is not asking about your health conditions, I would not divulge to any of your coworkers that you have any type of mental illness, because it is unfortunate and inevitable that some of these people will label you as 'nutty' or 'unstable.'
Also, develop an internal filter that will prevent you from sharing your personal problems that are none of your coworkers' business. Smile, be pleasant, and play the game. Do not over-share!
It took me some time to learn this lesson because I also have a history of mental health problems. I was treated for depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the distant past and took medications for a while. I am also an extreme introvert who doesn't particularly enjoy mingling and small talk. Prior to sharing too much information at a previous workplace several years ago, coworkers largely respected me. However, once I casually mentioned my childhood traumas and other personal issues surrounding depression, people began to whisper that I was "weird."
To wrap things up, Toni's forced resignation taught me a couple of lessons that will remain in my awareness for the rest of my working career. For starters, if no one is asking about your mental health issues at the job, do not share unless you wish to be stigmatized. Second, if no one is asking about your physical health problems at the job, I also see no need to share this information unless your employee health department has a specific reason to know.
Finally, get an internal filter as soon as possible. Talk about superficial topics such as the vacation you recently took, the wedding you attended or your kid's birthday party. Anything more personal is none of your coworkers' business.
Working with nurses every day, day in, day out, you'd think we had it made! Working with nurses who all took an oath to care for others, often putting themselves last, should be a cake walk, right? We should care for each other like we do our patients, right??
Unfortunately, WRONG.
Every place I've worked, it's like my fellow nurses are out to get each other; always trying to "one up" the other nurse. It's a shame really.
Two months into my very first nursing job after passing NCLEX, my mom (a non-nurse) came to me and said, "Crystal, what's wrong with you? Every time you come pick up Kenzie (my daughter) after work you either have tears in your eyes or you barely say a word. What gives?" I began telling her about the nurses I worked with and how I felt like I was in middle school again. Her words were: "I'm shocked! You're around nurses all day...how can it be that bad?" Little did she know how it really was/is. I learned to say NOTHING TO NO ONE. EVEN IF I THOUGHT THAT A FELLOW NURSE WAS MY "FRIEND". It'd be nice if my fellow nurses DID care about each other like they do their patients.
I think the take-home message here is that nursing exists in a workplace, just like most other professions.
The problem is that because we are entrusted with the lives and well-being of our patients, it is assumed that nurses should automatically repeat the same behavior back at each other. While this would be undeniably nice, it's not realistic. My professional responsibility to my patient is to take care of them. I have no such obligation to my coworkers.
Can you imagine putting the same expectations on bankers? Journalists? Even physicians? Any other profession other than nursing? Exactly.
This, in my opinion, exposes a basic inability on the part of the profession to distinguish between work and personal life. If something at work ****** me off, I don't go running to my coworkers and tell them. I grin and bear it until I get home and I can tell my husband, who obligingly listens to my rants--and vice-versa.
Seeing a therapist, getting meds is all grand in theory but that is admitting you have a mental health problem and BECAUSE of stigma like this, many people are too afraid to seek help to avoid being labeled. And yes, some mild-moderate mental illnesses can be treated by talk therapy alone and a limited course of meds, but if you have severe recurrent MDD, panic disorder, or bipolar disorder, that's a lifelong diagnosis that requires medication for the rest of your life, usually.
This is what scares the ever living bejeesus out of be about ever having another crisis, and when I would be IN that crisis to seek hospitalization like I have in the past. I have been burned too many times in the past having to disclose my own BP II at work because I've needed inpatient care, not because I was running my mouth. I have learned to basically "sit down and shut up". I do what I need to to keep my health intact but that doesn't mean my meds wont become less/ineffective someday, or might have an adverse reaction to meds, or to have a major serious life event that won't send me back to crisis mode. That's life with a severe, persistent mental illness. Not that we can't be safe and competent caregivers. We definitely can! Just never have an exacerbation, or talk to anyone about your illness. If any of you saw a coworker check his/her own blood sugar or inject themselves with insulin during a break, I doubt any of you would bat an eye, but to find out a co worker has a mental illness. *GASP* I think that's part of the reason so many of the mentally ill are in abject poverty, living off of SSDI. They are fundamentally told "you can't". It really makes me sad on a whole bunch of levels.
And hey now to frat guys LOL! I was in a sorority during my first degree and never met any fraternity men that were rapists. My husband was a frat guy and so were many people I still consider good friends.
I agree that those with bipolar or ASDs tend to be on the more creative side. As my therapist put it, we are "fluid thinkers" in a world created for the more "rigid thinkers" among us.
When I said to keep it light I wasn't speaking simply about illness, mental or physical; rather your personal life in general. You may have true good friends that are trustworthy and an open warm work climate and manager or you may not! If you misjudge it can end up harming you personally and professionally. Again I'm not talking simply about an illness. There is bullying and cliques in nursing as well as school you may or may not deal with this, but why not protect yourself in the first place. I've dealt with bullies and cliques in my many years of nursing and presently this hasn't been a problem and my supervisor is very fair and supportive. But things could always change.
Problems with frat guys are many times in the news. Again not everyone, and plenty of other men are guilty of raping or abusing women! Many women though not all have been victims of abuse or rape, etc and that certainly affects one's mental health and functioning. That's what I was addressing. Obviously that is not the sole reason people have mental health problems and some are unrelated such as schizophrenia or bipolar.
At times people with schizophrenia, bipolar or even post partum depression can lose touch with reality, become psychotic, thankfully this is rare! These illness can be difficult to treat just like a brittle diabetic. If a person is not able to work, thinking and judgement are impaired then they should seek treatment and take family medical leave till they are better. If people are aware they have an illness, but not aware things are deteriorating it might help to have a close friend or family member alert them there might be a problem.
I don't think people are shocked over mental health problems per se, in fact many nurses are dealing with problems starting with anxiety/depression etc, etc and many are open about their issues and their meds. If you have a hostile work environment, bullies, cliques, etc this might end up being used against you.
I think the take-home message here is that nursing exists in a workplace, just like most other professions.
The problem is that because we are entrusted with the lives and well-being of our patients, it is assumed that nurses should automatically repeat the same behavior back at each other. While this would be undeniably nice, it's not realistic. My professional responsibility to my patient is to take care of them. I have no such obligation to my coworkers.
Can you imagine putting the same expectations on bankers? Journalists? Even physicians? Any other profession other than nursing? Exactly.
This, in my opinion, exposes a basic inability on the part of the profession to distinguish between work and personal life. If something at work ****** me off, I don't go running to my coworkers and tell them. I grin and bear it until I get home and I can tell my husband, who obligingly listens to my rants--and vice-versa.
Thanks for posting this. I honestly had never looked at it from that angle before. Most professions require that the "customer" be treated like a king but of course co-workers in all of these businesses and professions certainly don't treat each other that way (I've worked in other venues besides nursing BTW). So why in the world would we expect nursing to be any different? Having said that, I personally still think that it sucks that things are this way. For some odd reason I expect nurses to have somewhat more enlightened attitudes towards things like this and more awareness of issues like workplace bullying, prejudice against people with mental/emotional problems etc. I mean this is almost 2014 for god's sake......
I find it so screwed up that a system that only exists to serve human kind and the total spectrum of all ailments would treat the healers like they are not human and are suppose to be perfect - at least by measures of risk management. Like, if you're gonna go there, then hey, post it on the college class prereqs! After reading many posts about "not being a perfect person enough to be a nurse" crapola.... Well, let's hold accountable the people who take the money from unperfect people who become nurses. Bottom line: I cannot stand the whole FEAR FACTOR of being a nurse. The liabilities... the mistakes, the personality deficits, the whatever.... WE DON"T GET PAID ENOUGH! WE have peoples lives in our hands and we're paid like we're waiters but we get all the germs and liability and the NEVER ENDING LIST of "Don't forget to do these 5000 things today..." I stillll am in awe of the expectations of a nurse. I still really don't get it.
Fast food workers are marching for $15 an hour. Many entry level nurses are close to this margin but wait.... liabilities, germs and sooo much more.... I love nursing but please pay me for what i do and don't overload me and set me up for failure. I also don't respect those nurses who are like, " I can take on more... look what i can do" Well, then you be a pack animal... I didn't sign up for that and I deserve more and so do my patients!
Thanks for posting this. I honestly had never looked at it from that angle before. Most professions require that the "customer" be treated like a king but of course co-workers in all of these businesses and professions certainly don't treat each other that way (I've worked in other venues besides nursing BTW). So why in the world would we expect nursing to be any different? Having said that, I personally still think that it sucks that things are this way. For some odd reason I expect nurses to have somewhat more enlightened attitudes towards things like this and more awareness of issues like workplace bullying, prejudice against people with mental/emotional problems etc. I mean this is almost 2014 for god's sake......
Agreed. I wish the world as a whole was a better place. In thousands of years of human history, it doesn't seem to be improving as a whole.
Look at the motivation listed on this site alone that people give for going into nursing. Their reasons are as wide and varied as the day is long. The point, of course, being that nursing doesn't attract demi-gods or angels or saints. Nursing attracts all kinds of people, just like every other profession, and just like every other profession, you've got to take the good with the bad.
Over-sharing applies to far more than mental illness. Over-sharing your religious beliefs, romantic or financial difficulties or your opinions on politics can be just as detrimental to good working relationships and thus job security.
I think politics by far is the biggest thing that people simply shouldnt discuss in the workplace.
Its such a polar topic, filled with so much hate and animosity. Its an instant way to make some people hate or disrespect you. Its probably the #1 thing id recommend nobody ever discusses in any workplace period.
I think the take-home message here is that nursing exists in a workplace, just like most other professions.
The problem is that because we are entrusted with the lives and well-being of our patients, it is assumed that nurses should automatically repeat the same behavior back at each other. While this would be undeniably nice, it's not realistic. My professional responsibility to my patient is to take care of them. I have no such obligation to my coworkers.
Can you imagine putting the same expectations on bankers? Journalists? Even physicians? Any other profession other than nursing? Exactly.
This, in my opinion, exposes a basic inability on the part of the profession to distinguish between work and personal life. If something at work ****** me off, I don't go running to my coworkers and tell them. I grin and bear it until I get home and I can tell my husband, who obligingly listens to my rants--and vice-versa.
I completely agree and I, too, am baffled why so many nursing coworkers don't get this. I've worked in psych all of my career, and it is a well-known phenomenon in psych that some people are attracted to working in psych because they are looking to get their own needs met (at least on a subconscious level). You seem to run into these people mostly in positions that require lower levels of formal education (extended schooling requirements in the other mental health disciplines tends to weed those people out), so that means nurses and techs/CNAs. I'm there to provide treatment to the clients, not my coworkers, but I can't tell you the number of times over the years I've worked with fellow nurses or aides/techs who seem to feel that the point of our working night shift on the same unit is for them to be able to spend all the quiet, "free" time during the night telling me about all their problems. (Even while I was sitting there obviously, pointedly, reading a magazine or book, with my back to them, not paying attention to them. They would continue going on for hours as if I were actually listening and encouraging them.)
The workplace is the workplace, folks. Not eight or twelve hours of group therapy (occasionally interrupted by actual client needs :)).
And women (sorry, women) need this message potentially even more than men. Women tend to talk and talk with emotions, regardless of whether they're bipolar or not. Like the proverb says, Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. (Proverbs 26:20, The Bible.)
Why am I not surprised that misogyny is followed with a bible quote? SMH
Being naturally quiet and introverted has served me well in this profession.
Alas, it has also made for some VERY long quiet nights at work. I'm also the last to know anything that's happening under the radar at work.
Someone posted being too tired, hungry, and a bunch of other stuff as triggers that losen the lips. I must agree. The only time I'm at risk of over sharing, are those shifts when I start out exhausted.
I don't think the "attacking the crazy" is limited to just nursing. I consider it the crippled chicken syndrome:)Chickens will peck those weaker, or different.
I am so glad you wrote this. I am going through depression and anxiety and I don't want anyone to know but ive had to take time off work because of it. Now I think they are going to know when I do go back.
SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN
4 Articles; 2,058 Posts
I think the take-home message here is that nursing exists in a workplace, just like most other professions.
The problem is that because we are entrusted with the lives and well-being of our patients, it is assumed that nurses should automatically repeat the same behavior back at each other. While this would be undeniably nice, it's not realistic. My professional responsibility to my patient is to take care of them. I have no such obligation to my coworkers.
Can you imagine putting the same expectations on bankers? Journalists? Even physicians? Any other profession other than nursing? Exactly.
This, in my opinion, exposes a basic inability on the part of the profession to distinguish between work and personal life. If something at work ****** me off, I don't go running to my coworkers and tell them. I grin and bear it until I get home and I can tell my husband, who obligingly listens to my rants--and vice-versa.