Do you ever wonder why you are here?

LadyStorm · Jul 3, 2005

...........and what is your purpose in this world? Lately, constantly, I feel like I have no purpose, that all life is is getting up and going to work and drudgery with very little pleasure. I ask my husband, "Why do people continue to do it, get up, go to work, hate their life?". He says that alot of people are unhappy but "you gotta work". He wants kids. I think "more drudgery" or "someone to intensify the drudgery". Life is so crappy. Don't you all feel like that alot of the time, like WTH!! are you doing here and what is the purpose of doing it over.. and over... and over ...every freaking day, for the rest of your life? I feel like all my life is about is working to pay off bills that I was foolish enough to incur and finding a professional field that will help me pay those bills and make me feel like I am a success in this world. And that's it. That is the whole pursuit of my life.
Now, if you looked in on my life, you probably would think that it doesn't look all the crappy. But it is to me. And I know that many people have had much more adversity to deal with in their lives and I wonder how they do it. What gives you the hope to go on even when it sucks and there is no apparant light at the end of the tunnel??
Can you sympathize???

Yes, I can sympathize, I have felt like that. However, if it persists I would explore making changes in your life. Sometimes we all need a change. We are in a wonderful profession where you can make that change. For instance, I have worked OB, Med Surg, Geriatrics, Oncology, Psych, Infection Control. Find a new passion and start living again.

mariedoreen · Jul 3, 2005

First make an appt with a counselor to discuss your perceptions of life and your need for a change. Then:

Plant some flowers. Volunteer. Read a great book. Eat chocolate. Take a walk at sunset. Buy someone a small gift just because. Write down the 10 things in your life you're most thankful for. Do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. Listen to music you loved when you were a teenager. Exercise. Think of something you've always wanted to accomplish but forgot about. Then think about it again.

Go to the appt you made with the counselor and discuss what you're feeling. They will help you to uncover what's lacking exactly and what you can do about it. And no, you're not alone in how you feel. And yes, there definitely is hope for change. You don't need to plug along through life feeling this way. Help is there, reach for it.

lifesaverwv · Jul 3, 2005

I also agree about making an appt with a counselor.Everyone feels depressed at one time or another. Maybe along with counseling your doc might think that a course of antidepressants would also be helpful. Please don't start having kids while you are in this frame of mind. Get yourself to a better place before you should start thinking of having children. I wish you all the best.

live4today, RN · Jul 3, 2005

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the book

a groundbreaking manifesto on the meaning of life.

the most basic question everyone faces in life is why am i here? what is my purpose? self-help books suggest that people should look within, at their own desires and dreams, but rick warren says the starting place must be with god and his eternal purposes for each life. real meaning and significance comes from understanding and fulfilling god's purposes for putting us on earth.

the purpose-driven life takes the groundbreaking message of the award-winning purpose-driven church and goes deeper, applying it to the lifestyle of individual christians. this book helps readers understand god's incredible plan for their lives. warren enables them to see the big picture of what life is all about and begin to live the life god created them to live.

the purpose-driven life is a manifesto for christian living in the 21st century...a lifestyle based on eternal purposes, not cultural values. using biblical stories and letting the bible speak for itself, warren clearly explains god's five purposes for each of us:

we were planned for god's pleasure, so your first purpose is to offer real worship.
we were formed for god's family, so your second purpose is to enjoy real fellowship.
we were created to become like christ, so your third purpose is to learn real discipleship.
we were shaped for serving god, so your fourth purpose is to practice real ministry.
we were made for a mission, so your fifth purpose is to live out real evangelism.

this long-anticipated book is the life-message of rick warren, founding pastor of saddleback church. written in a captivating devotional style, the book is divided into 40 short chapters that can be read as a daily devotional, studied by small groups, and used by churches participating in the nationwide 40 days of purpose campaigns.

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live4today, RN · Jul 3, 2005

There was no room for me to post on my above thread, so I'm going to speak about that book here. I haven't yet started reading it as I was also given three other books to read at the same time I purchased that book. I don't know what faith you are, but you might be able to find something purposeful through reading the book anyway.

I am at the same point in life as you are, but I'm in the "Stagnant vs. Generativity" stage of life (according to good ol' Erikson) :) At age fifty-three, I wonder why I'm here, what am I supposed to be doing with my life, why I haven't been able to land a job (nursing or non nursing) in the past two months I've been off work. I give and I give and I give to family, friends, and others. I am spent when it comes to thinking about myself. I have appreciated having this time off work to reflect, to think, to pray, to meditate, to surrender my all to the Lord (again); to search my heart and soul for answers as to where I go from this point, and where is my next check coming from to pay this month's rent, and the ton of bills that I have to pay for each month.

It is a frightening experience to be in this place when you do not know how to surrender the moment and embrace the "quiet" of this time in your life. This is what Iyana (sp?) wrote about in her book "In The Meantime...." While we are going through whatever it is we are going through for whatever purpose, we live in the meantime....reflection, trying a new hobby, picking up reading again, for me -- praying and communing more with God....:)

Do I join the Peace Corp? Do I move to a third world country and volunteer my services as a nurse? Do I adopt children that have never had a home, a mom? Do I become a foster parent? Do I return to college and take up something else? What do I do?

Another dilemma is where do I live? I'm not finding the job market that lucrative for me in the rural area I'm in, so I need to move where it's happening. Okay...where is it happening?

My husband ran away from home to a foreign country a year and a half ago, and we are still married because he will NOT give me a divorce and I do NOT have money to give to some lawyer to get the divorce. Heck, I can't even pay my rent and bills let alone make some divorce lawyer richer to try and track down a man who doesn't want to be found. :uhoh3:

If I could only win the lottery all my financial problems would be solved, but what about the emptiness I've been dealing with. And yes TOM CRUISE...I AM on an antidepressant.:chuckle and plan to STAY on the med, thank you very much.

I hope by my sharing a smidgeon of what I'm going through at my age that it in some way will help you (original poster) and others in the same spot. What good are our thoughts and life experiences if we cannot share them with others who may very well gain from where we are in life? Well....I've found ONE purpose in my life........telling my life story so others can grow.

rambisisking · Jul 3, 2005

I can not only symphathize, I can empathize. The only true way that I know to give purpose and motivation to my life is to truly give of myself to someone else. To, with all my heart and ability, do what I am capable of doing to help, to ease, to comfort, to assist,to do whatever makes it better that is within your ability to do. This must be done selflessly, with no thought of any repay. It must be done purely for the for the satisfaction of giving. When we give expecting something in return then it's not giving, it's trading. I can hear you saying," I just told them how I am always working and now this chick is trying to tell me I need to do more". But I'm telling you IT WORKS. When you do it long enough it becomes part of you and suddenly you realize you do have purpose...lots of purpose. It brings you good Karma too.:icon_hug: Mine is not a religious point of view, but I do believe we have purposes to be here, and I for one have to keep my eyes open constantly so I don't miss the oppurtunity to realize one of my purposes. I don't know your age, but I know that at 52, I am still finding new reasons to believe in my worth here. Maybe you just haven't met yours yet. Good for you for speaking up and not keeping it stuck inside of you. Best to you!

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Jul 3, 2005

Thank you for all the advice. It is nice to know it is not only me that feels this way!:)

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 3, 2005

I can relate. When I was young I thought, "how dreadful to have to do this day after day after day, year after year", I was tired and bored and felt there was no meaning to it all.

The years have added up and when I was 39 I went through it again. Feeling there was no real meaning to my life, no purpose. Just drudgery.

The main purpose in my life I've found is to make a happy home for my family, to love and take care of them (spouse and dogs). And simply to be a kind person.

I don't have any answers. My many years as a Christian, doing church work and serving others, offered no answer to "the meaning of life" for me, and I no longer "serve the Lord" for my purpose in life.

I guess my purpose right now is to not worry about the purpose. Keep it simple, living in moment, and keeping a positive attitude. Life is unpleasant and tough. Accepting that rather than thinking that it's not, or feeling guilty about it has help. Yeah, life is drugery sometimes. That's just the way it is.

At the end of the day, if I've stayed true to my values and principles and have done the best that I can (which is different on a daily basis), then I'm o.k. :)

Every day you're closer to your last day. Change your attitude just a bit and you'll be o.k. Also, if you think you're depressed, perhaps looking into that might help lift you some.

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 3, 2005

Yes I have, and that is why I have been paying a therapist a lot of $$$ to help me figure out what the heck I am here for. I think we all go through this crisis. Fortunately there are resources for you, be they therapists, psychologists, spiritual leaders/healers or your own friends. ALL OF US go through this. This is the very basis of the great religious systems on our planet. Really, in the end, we are all on the same quest, but the roads we take are many and vary greatly.

Ask yourself these two questions:

What is the wound I carry (What hurts or torments me MOST emotionally/spiritually/mentally)?

What is the gift I can give the world from that wound?

IF you can find those answers, you have begun to find "why you are here" and are in the position to go about your business of doing what you were meant to on this Earth. You are not alone; the whole world is literally in search of the same answer.

I wish you well.

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Jul 3, 2005

Another clue (I've found): What is your passion? What strikes a chord of compassion? What situation in the world makes you angry or upset or brings tears to your eyes?

My personal philosophy: I'm here to make a difference. I can either curse the darkness or light a candle. If I see something wrong and it is in my lifepath, then that probably means I am to be part of the solution.

Dinith88 · Jul 3, 2005

That sucks you're feeling this way.

What's funny (to me) is that from your short post, everyone else is tagging you as clinically depressed (ie. 'see a therapist', 'try an anti-depressant', etc).

If you're feeling hopeless, sad, apathetic, etc. then perhaps you are clinically depressed and you do need help as most other posters have indicated.

To me, however, it seems you're experiencing an 'existential crisis' (the theme of your post is: why am i here? who am i? why? why?....rather than 'i hate it here, i want to die, i'm miserable and joyless')...

I think this is a normal struggle we all deal with time-to-time, and eventually you'll come through it (ideally a stronger person). The trick is to 'infuse' your life with meaning...rather than waiting for it to fall into your lap (which is unfortunately MUCH easier to say than do). Whether or not you find the answers in religion, your own reflection, or some other 'thing/stuff', these struggles will eventually become easier to deal with..or disapear all together.

Are you 'young-ish'? Just asking because This type of angst is typical of 20-somethings who are transitioning to 'the real world', 'adult life', etc. etc....though they may occur at any point in life...

At any rate, if i have any advice for you it's that the harder you think about this stuff, the worse your headache will be :)

...but you'll find this all out on your own eventually!

P.S. When you've discovered the meaning of life, post it so we all know!!