...........and what is your purpose in this world? Lately, constantly, I feel like I have no purpose, that all life is is getting up and going to work and drudgery with very little pleasure. I ask my husband, "Why do people continue to do it, get up, go to work, hate their life?". He says that alot of people are unhappy but "you gotta work". He wants kids. I think "more drudgery" or "someone to intensify the drudgery". Life is so crappy. Don't you all feel like that alot of the time, like WTH!! are you doing here and what is the purpose of doing it over.. and over... and over ...every freaking day, for the rest of your life? I feel like all my life is about is working to pay off bills that I was foolish enough to incur and finding a professional field that will help me pay those bills and make me feel like I am a success in this world. And that's it. That is the whole pursuit of my life.
Now, if you looked in on my life, you probably would think that it doesn't look all the crappy. But it is to me. And I know that many people have had much more adversity to deal with in their lives and I wonder how they do it. What gives you the hope to go on even when it sucks and there is no apparant light at the end of the tunnel??
talk this through with a counselor, therapist or other professional. Do not delay - you sound depressed. There is nothing wrong with being depressed but there is something wrong with doing nothing about it.
Don't listen to anyone who tells you just to pick up and snap out of it, or other similar foolishness. You may need therapy or antidepressants.
Don't make any radical lifestyle changes (move, new job, etc) until you start to feel better. Otherwise you will likely take whatever baggage you are carting around to the new location, and things will be no different.
Above all, this is not the time to have kids - children do not fix their parents' problems for them!!! Being a parent is probably the one most fulfilling thing you can ever do, but it can also be the most draining and the most stressful. you need to be comfortable in your own shoes before tying little shoes.
To paraphrase much smarter people than me...when you are asking yourself "what is the point to life?" you are asking the wrong question. what is really happening is life asking YOU "What will you contribute?" When you answer that question for yourself you will know the purpose for your life.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Thrashej, you have received some excellent advice here.
What you are experiencing is something that happens to EVERYONE if they live long enough. This may be your first life crisis, but it won't be your last, and it's better for you to know that so the next one doesn't completely catch you off guard. Human beings are NEVER finished products, and as we age we are supposed to change and grow in response to events around us, as well as events that happen inside of us. This usually begins in the 20s, and if you're doing things right---by that I mean moving ahead, even if it's in the 'wrong' direction---you can expect to go through something similar in your 30s, 40s, and beyond. But if you learn to look at these distressing and discontented periods of your life as opportunity for growth ("what is the life lesson I need to learn from this?" and "what can I do differently?"), your transitions will go much more smoothly and quickly than if you become depressed and angry about what you think you're missing.
I tell you this because I've been through several of these uncomfortable transitional periods in my life, this past year or so being the most recent. When we're older, we get to a point where we've accomplished certain goals and/or attained a certain station in life, and then we find ourselves asking "Is that all there is?" What we don't understand when we set those goals for ourselves---as in "When I graduate from college/get my first job/get married/have my first child/receive that big promotion/lose those 10 pounds/make $50,000 a year/buy a house/fill in the blank, I'll be set!"---is that there is no "there" there. Happiness is the ultimate 'moving target'.........just when we think we've attained it, it slips out of our grasp and makes us chase after it.
So many folks never realize that happiness is found all along life's journey, not at its end. The things that make a life are the little joys and small wonders, not the big goals, although those too are important and we should always strive to do better, to be better. I consider myself extremely fortunate that it's only taken me the better part of fifty years to learn this, but if it can help spare you, or someone else, a few decades of heartbreak from unfulfilled expectations, it's a piece of wisdom worth passing along.
Give yourself time......be gentle with yourself, beyond a wholesome discipline (yes, that's from my favorite poem, Desiderata).......and above all, don't think you're the only person who's ever felt this gnawing emptiness and discontent. One day soon the purpose of this uncomfortable period of your life will be made clear, if you're open to learning from it. :)
I think you need to find your own purpose in life. You can still do what your doing now and still find time to explore tons of different activities to make yourself feel better. My primary purpose is to serve God and my family (parents, brother and sisters. I'm not married) and to also do whatever it is that I want to do that makes me happy and fullfills gaps in my life. One thing I love doing is exercising. I lift weights, swim, run (training for a marathon in December), bike, etc... I also like to read textbooks (yes you heard me right). Try setting some short-term and longterm goals for yourself. Go hiking, do some traveling even if it's still in the same state but don't tell yourself that your stuck in "one" life, because you arn't so try to change some things around and you will be fine. There is no one purpose in life and you don't even need to find a purpose in life, just live and try to be happy. Hope that helps a bit, good luck!
Wow! Excellent advice. Truer words have probably never been spoken.:)
I am young, 29. But I guess I am getting to that point where I can no longer fit into the "kid" category and I can't say that I am still trying to "figure out what I want to do professionally". It just isn't as acceptable. I feel like I should have figured it out by now. In addition, I seem to be the only one around me that feels this way.
That said, I have been struggling with depression. I used to love to exercise but I don't enjoy the things I used to and have trouble concentrating. I feel like I can't relate to anyone and no one can relate to me. Like an alien. I have no friends and can't really talk to my family cuz they are messed up and don't really have the right things to say back if you catch my drift. Furthermore, I do have a few acquaintances that I could call upon, but they don't want to hear my sob story and to be honest I don't want to subject them to it. I know I am a big downer most of the time so because I don't have anything to say that people want to here I stay quiet. I just don't feel too positive right now and I hate faking it. I will, however, have to "fake it" if I ever intend to get through NS. Yeah, "fake it till you make it" is now my signature!!:rotfl:
I really have enjoyed all of your responses. It is really enlightening to see everyone's take on this and know that I am not alone. I am looking forward to learning something about myself in nursing school. I will see what I am made of I suppose.:uhoh21:
Thank you all!:)
Edited to add: I am seeking counseling/therapy, just in case someone was going to mention that. I had hoped to have this sorted out before NS began but insurance didn't work out that way. We'll see.
Thrashej, you have received some excellent advice here.
What you are experiencing is something that happens to EVERYONE if they live long enough. This may be your first life crisis, but it won't be your last, and it's better for you to know that so the next one doesn't completely catch you off guard. Human beings are NEVER finished products, and as we age we are supposed to change and grow in response to events around us, as well as events that happen inside of us. This usually begins in the 20s, and if you're doing things right---by that I mean moving ahead, even if it's in the 'wrong' direction---you can expect to go through something similar in your 30s, 40s, and beyond. But if you learn to look at these distressing and discontented periods of your life as opportunity for growth ("what is the life lesson I need to learn from this?" and "what can I do differently?"), your transitions will go much more smoothly and quickly than if you become depressed and angry about what you think you're missing.
I tell you this because I've been through several of these uncomfortable transitional periods in my life, this past year or so being the most recent. When we're older, we get to a point where we've accomplished certain goals and/or attained a certain station in life, and then we find ourselves asking "Is that all there is?" What we don't understand when we set those goals for ourselves---as in "When I graduate from college/get my first job/get married/have my first child/receive that big promotion/lose those 10 pounds/make $50,000 a year/buy a house/fill in the blank, I'll be set!"---is that there is no "there" there. Happiness is the ultimate 'moving target'.........just when we think we've attained it, it slips out of our grasp and makes us chase after it.
So many folks never realize that happiness is found all along life's journey, not at its end. The things that make a life are the little joys and small wonders, not the big goals, although those too are important and we should always strive to do better, to be better. I consider myself extremely fortunate that it's only taken me the better part of fifty years to learn this, but if it can help spare you, or someone else, a few decades of heartbreak from unfulfilled expectations, it's a piece of wisdom worth passing along.
Give yourself time......be gentle with yourself, beyond a wholesome discipline (yes, that's from my favorite poem, Desiderata).......and above all, don't think you're the only person who's ever felt this gnawing emptiness and discontent. One day soon the purpose of this uncomfortable period of your life will be made clear, if you're open to learning from it. :)
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I am young, 29. But I guess I am getting to that point where I can no longer fit into the "kid" category and I can't say that I am still trying to "figure out what I want to do professionally". It just isn't as acceptable. I feel like I should have figured it out by now. In addition, I seem to be the only one around me that feels this way.
Edited to add: I am seeking counseling/therapy, just in case someone was going to mention that. I had hoped to have this sorted out before NS began but insurance didn't work out that way. We'll see.
Good for you!
Please don't think that you should have it "all figured out by now". You're not even 30 yet........if you live the average life span, you've got another 50 years to work on that. :)
NOBODY ever has it all wired---it's kind of like making ends meet, by the time you get there, somebody's moved the ends. :chuckle
I think it's a good thing that you're seeking therapy, and you may want to consider antidepressants; they don't 'fix' the problems for you, but they straighten out your brain chemistry so that you can think more clearly and start working on them yourself. :)
Best wishes........you sound like a mature person who just needs a little help getting past one of life's little speed bumps. You'll do fine in nursing school.
...........and what is your purpose in this world? Lately, constantly, I feel like I have no purpose, that all life is is getting up and going to work and drudgery with very little pleasure. I ask my husband, "Why do people continue to do it, get up, go to work, hate their life?". He says that alot of people are unhappy but "you gotta work". He wants kids. I think "more drudgery" or "someone to intensify the drudgery". Life is so crappy. Don't you all feel like that alot of the time, like WTH!! are you doing here and what is the purpose of doing it over.. and over... and over ...every freaking day, for the rest of your life? I feel like all my life is about is working to pay off bills that I was foolish enough to incur and finding a professional field that will help me pay those bills and make me feel like I am a success in this world. And that's it. That is the whole pursuit of my life.
Now, if you looked in on my life, you probably would think that it doesn't look all the crappy. But it is to me. And I know that many people have had much more adversity to deal with in their lives and I wonder how they do it. What gives you the hope to go on even when it sucks and there is no apparant light at the end of the tunnel??
Can you sympathize???
thrashej, you sound severely depressed. this is a medical condition, and it's clouding your thinking & preventing you from enjoying life. please seek help, either through insurance or a state/city supported free clinic (or out of pocket -- you can even call docs in the yellow pages, explain your financial situation, and ask for a sliding scale -- I did this once, and the doc even gave me free antidepressant samples at each visit)...
Well, Utahliz, I would rather be SOMEWHERE other than where I am now (professionally, that is). Can I tell you with certainty it is nursing? No. But, I guess that is as good as it is going to get for now.
Whoooooooooaaa! I went through something similar to you when I turned 40, kids not needing me anymore, in a job I did not like, kids moved out, now what IS my purpose? I got my buttocks in gear and decided to go to nursing school, something I always wanted to do. Do what you can to take care of you, do not forget about school! You will feel so worthwhile when you get to clinicals and are able to see how you are helping people, they need you. Check back in and let us know how you are doing, please don't give up on yourself!
The older I get the more I realize the answer to any question (other than those on school exams or the NCLEX) is love.
As in lov-ING...... as in others... as in GIVING of one's self to others.. be it of my time, my money, or my energy.. just GIVING.. wanting/expecting nothing in return.
Contentment lies not in acquiring those things we do not yet have, but in being grateful for those things we already have.
Happiness and joy are two entirely different things. Happiness can be faked, while joy cannot. Joy of life bubbles forth and cannoth be hidden nor contained, nor kept to one's self.
I do hope/pray that somewhere, somehow, you find that inner joy.. the joy of life.. joy of LIVING.. gratitude for the privilege of BEING alive.. so that you might pass that joy on to another less fortunate. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
One candle lights another.
And remember that the GREATEST loss is the loss of selfrespect.
In addition, I seem to be the only one around me that feels this way.
in gear and decided to go to nursing school, something I always wanted to do. Do what you can to take care of you, do not forget about school! You will feel so worthwhile when you get to clinicals and are able to see how you are helping people, they need you. Check back in and let us know how you are doing, please don't give up on yourself! 
mtnmom
334 Posts
talk this through with a counselor, therapist or other professional. Do not delay - you sound depressed. There is nothing wrong with being depressed but there is something wrong with doing nothing about it.
Don't listen to anyone who tells you just to pick up and snap out of it, or other similar foolishness. You may need therapy or antidepressants.
Don't make any radical lifestyle changes (move, new job, etc) until you start to feel better. Otherwise you will likely take whatever baggage you are carting around to the new location, and things will be no different.
Above all, this is not the time to have kids - children do not fix their parents' problems for them!!! Being a parent is probably the one most fulfilling thing you can ever do, but it can also be the most draining and the most stressful. you need to be comfortable in your own shoes before tying little shoes.
Peace & love to you...prayers too