Diversity/Religion In The Workplace

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Today, my friend told me the saddest story I ever heard. She had applied for a job and had been pining to get this gig for months. Finally a few months ago they contacted her for an interview. Culturally, she likes to wear a head wrap and has been doing so for as long as I have known her. Plus her boyfriend is Jewish and plans on marrying him and wants to get use to the idea of wearing it everyday. Well she decided that she would be herself and interview for the job as herself, tichel/head covering and all. The first interview went off without a hitch but she said she was asked if she was Muslim during the interview. I guess to explain her wearing the head covering. She replied no and left it at that. She was contacted for a second interview. Went well. Several months later she was hired. She attended orientation which lasted for several weeks. Than out of the blue, one of her supervisors called her to the side one day and asked her if she was Muslim, again she answered no, she even asked her if something was wrong with her hair, she replied no. The supervisor told her that she needed to come to work the next day with her hair out. She ignored that request and went to work as herself. The second day, she was requested to meet with one for her higher ranking superiors regarding her hair. Long story short, she was pretty much told that it was policy and she could not wear her hair covered to work. She explained that for weeks, she walked around with head covering and nobody said anything to her about it. She was told that if she pretty much did not show up without head covering she would lose her job, plus she was knew so they had no problem doing it. It made her very uncomfortable to the point of tears when she told me. She plans on quitting and looking for a new job. This is the world we live in. My heart is broken for her and she is still crying.

I have a question for everyone that keeps saying the "friend" was being evasive.

She was asked twice if she was Muslim. She answered twice in response to the question. NO.

How is that evasive. She was asked a direct question and she answered it as direct as you could possibly get.

evasive

adjective eva·sive \i-ˈvā-siv, -ziv, ē-\

Definition of evasive for English Language Learners

: not honest or direct

: done to avoid harm, an accident, etc.

She answered the question honest and direct. Like she was literally the OPPOSITE of evasive when answering the question. So I don't understand why so many people keep saying she gave evasive answers.

Maybe "playing dumb" would be a better fit? She knew what they were getting at, but answered the question like someone who was born yesterday.

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Maybe "playing dumb" would be a better fit? She knew what they were getting at, but answered the question like someone who was born yesterday.

I mean I am not this made up friend, so I can't say what she did or didn't know. Maybe she was legitimately dumb. Maybe she isn't dumb at all and just naive and sheltered and didn't know what's why they were asking. After all she was "just being herself as she has always been" or something along those lines.

But yes, that would have been a better "fit" then to constantly keep accusing her of being evasive when she was the opposite. It was the employers that were being evasive in their questioning; instead of outright asking her if her head covering was for religious reasons they evaded being direct and instead kept asking if she was Muslim.

I mean I am not this made up friend, so I can't say what she did or didn't know. Maybe she was legitimately dumb. Maybe she isn't dumb at all and just naive and sheltered and didn't know what's why they were asking. After all she was "just being herself as she has always been" or something along those lines.

But yes, that would have been a better "fit" then to constantly keep accusing her of being evasive when she was the opposite. It was the employers that were being evasive in their questioning; instead of outright asking her if her head covering was for religious reasons they evaded being direct and instead kept asking if she was Muslim.

Okay...they were BOTH being evasive. Yes HR handled it badly. Should they have known better? Of course! In this day and age of PC gone crazy, safe places and people suing maybe the HR rep was being, you know, human and made a mistake. But that does not absolve the "friend" of her behavior. Especially when she was instructed by her supervisor to stop wearing the "headwrap". At that point management was being anything BUT evasive. She was given a direct order and she refused to follow it without even the simplest of explanations. Had she said it was for religious reasons that would have stopped it right there. But she didn't. And you're smart enough to understand the subtext. Yes, there's blame to share but the OP is entirely at fault for continuing the issue. And she was likely breaking the dress code that EVERYONE else has to follow. I wish I could "be myself" and wear what I want but I can't. Their house, their rules. I think what put people over the edge was the DRAMA involved. Saddest thing ever? Crying? Hearts breaking? Sounds like middle school angst that could have been avoided if she had been just up front with them. But she really couldn't be because then she wouldn't have been allowed to "be herself" and that apparently was devastating to her.

I like the fact that we are continuing to debate what I am pretty sure was a fictional event, that was relayed by a fictional character, to a poster who may also not be entirely real.

I like the fact that we are continuing to debate what I am pretty sure was a fictional event, that was relayed by a fictional character, to a poster who may also not be entirely real.

Yes but it's much more fun than the endless "is the PVT still working" threads?:roflmao:

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Okay...they were BOTH being evasive. Yes HR handled it badly. Should they have known better? Of course! In this day and age of PC gone crazy, safe places and people suing maybe the HR rep was being, you know, human and made a mistake. But that does not absolve the "friend" of her behavior. Especially when she was instructed by her supervisor to stop wearing the "headwrap". At that point management was being anything BUT evasive. She was given a direct order and she refused to follow it without even the simplest of explanations. Had she said it was for religious reasons that would have stopped it right there. But she didn't. And you're smart enough to understand the subtext. Yes, there's blame to share but the OP is entirely at fault for continuing the issue. And she was likely breaking the dress code that EVERYONE else has to follow. I wish I could "be myself" and wear what I want but I can't. Their house, their rules. I think what put people over the edge was the DRAMA involved. Saddest thing ever? Crying? Hearts breaking? Sounds like middle school angst that could have been avoided if she had been just up front with them. But she really couldn't be because then she wouldn't have been allowed to "be herself" and that apparently was devastating to her.

I am not justifying the alleged person showing up with the head scarf after being told she is not allowed to wear it. I am not justifying her not speaking up to clarify why she was wearing it after they told her not to wear it. Like I said I think the entire thing is made up and I gladly take the bait because I love a good debate. However; what I asked was HOW was the alleged nurse being evasive with her answers. Multiple times by multiple people it has been said she is to blame and she was evasive with her answers.

She was asked a direct question and you literally can not get more direct than NO. Which was her alleged answer.

So everyone can say whatever they want in response to this alleged nurse, but to say she was evasive in her answers?? I don't think so. 2 direct questions (from what I recall in the OP) in which 2 direct answers were given. That is not an opinion. That is a fact.

Are you Muslim? (Direct question) NO (direct answer) nothing evasive about it.

I am not justifying the alleged person showing up with the head scarf after being told she is not allowed to wear it. I am not justifying her not speaking up to clarify why she was wearing it after they told her not to wear it. Like I said I think the entire thing is made up and I gladly take the bait because I love a good debate. However; what I asked was HOW was the alleged nurse being evasive with her answers. Multiple times by multiple people it has been said she is to blame and she was evasive with her answers.

She was asked a direct question and you literally can not get more direct than NO. Which was her alleged answer.

So everyone can say whatever they want in response to this alleged nurse, but to say she was evasive in her answers?? I don't think so. 2 direct questions (from what I recall in the OP) in which 2 direct answers were given. That is not an opinion. That is a fact.

Are you Muslim? (Direct question) NO (direct answer) nothing evasive about it.

If you asked me if I took a Norco 5/325 from the Pyxis to sell to my friend and I answered "No." because I took a Norco 10/325 to sell to my friend, would that be evasive?

You asked a direct question and I gave a direct answer, right? Technically, I may be correct ...but unless I'm the dumbest dummy on the planet, I'm being deliberately evasive.

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Yes but it's much more fun than the endless "is the PVT still working" threads?:roflmao:

Exactly!!!

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
If you asked me if I took a Norco 5/325 from the Pyxis to sell to my friend and I answered "No." because I took a Norco 10/325 to sell to my friend, would that be evasive?

You asked a direct question and I gave a direct answer, right? Technically, I may be correct ...but unless I'm the dumbest dummy on the planet, I'm being deliberately evasive.

Umm to be fair if you're going to try and justify and correlate the misuse of the word evasive. A better scenario would be asking if I took Norco and me saying No because I really took Percocet. Both narcotic pills but different classes.

However, to give you a direct answer. No that would not be being evasive. It would be answering your direct question truthfully.

Like I don't understand why you're trying to twist the definition of evasive. It's clear and precise. As was the question and answer in the OP first post in this made up scenario. Let's stop trying to justify misusing the word evasive to fit the scenario. Plenty of other words that can be used, but the bottom line is the "nurse" was not evasive in answering the question in regards to being Muslim.

Umm to be fair if you're going to try and justify and correlate the misuse of the word evasive. A better scenario would be asking if I took Norco and me saying No because I really took Percocet. Both narcotic pills but different classes.

However, to give you a direct answer. No that would not be being evasive. It would be answering your direct question truthfully.

Like I don't understand why you're trying to twist the definition of evasive. It's clear and precise. As was the question and answer in the OP first post in this made up scenario. Let's stop trying to justify misusing the word evasive to fit the scenario. Plenty of other words that can be used, but the bottom line is the "nurse" was not evasive in answering the question in regards to being Muslim.

Have you ever considered a career as a defense attorney?

Ok so let's scrap the word evasive. Mi Vida Loca is correct in the definition of the word. When asked the question, a direct answer was provided to the specific question. Where most of us are having a problem, and mistakenly using the word 'evasive' it is because the nurse AVOIDED having the correct question asked. She AVOIDED the discussion that should have naturally followed. Her answer, while not deceptive because it was in fact the truth, raised more questions than answers.

The world we live in, is a free country. She can choose to express her cultural beliefs.. and the employer can mandate whether or not it fits in with the corporate ideals.

If she is so worried about covering up her head.. she should wear a nursing cap. End of problem.

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