I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:
I believe:
Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.
Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"
It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.
My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.
In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".
"Bullhockey!" say I.
In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.
I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"
Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".
I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"
Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.
I work in postpartum/newborn nursery, I call all my patients "Momma" unless they are placing their baby up for adoption. When I worked in other areas of the hospital/home health I always referred to patients by Mr/s Lastname.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 3/4/2020 at 10:59 PM, Davey Do said:
Clark went about his business, straightening forms, getting charts, and placing the forms in the charts. I sat down at the desk and said, "You know-I've been thinking and I've decided to accept your apology!"
Clark, without looking at me, scurrying back and forth in the nurses station, said in a low voice, "That's good Dave".
"****in' A!" I replied.
"I thought about what you said- you know: if profanity offends me, I should go work someplace else? Well, you're right- I do not want to be known as a 'Snowflake ****'!" Clark replied, "Dave, I just want to do my job". "Heh heh heh", I said and as he left, I bid Clark adieu with "Have a good ****ing day!"
Fight fire with fire.
I got a correspondence from Rita, the corporate HR administrator, last week on my personal email basically saying she wanted to discuss this situation regarding the profanity and shift report incident. Now, Rita was the HR manager in March 2017 who dropped the ball on a grievance I had toward the psych division director.
I responded to Rita saying that, at my age, I stay on a MN schedule and requested a telephone conference. I said the least inconvenient time for me, for a face to face meeting in her office, would be early Wednesday morning.
If Rita accepts that day and time, I'm going to request it be held at 2 am.
Clark was down in the lobby when I came into work Friday chatting up the females. On my way to the restroom, as I passed him, I said in a relatively low voice, "Hot shot **** ant".
I know.
When I came out of the restroom, Clark was gone. I later heard, from a very good source who had worked as a house supervisor, Clark had gone into Mia's office and told on me. So, Saturday I saw Clark flitting around filing forms in nurses station. I stood at the doorway, feigned rubbing my eyes, and said "Waah! Waah! Mia! Dave's bein' mean to me!" I paused, smiled and said, "Just kiddin' Clark!"
Clark responded, "We will have our day together", to which I said, "Oh yes. We will".
This reminds me of a Zen tale:
Two monks were walking by a river. "Look at the fish swimming about," said one monk, "They are really enjoying themselves." "You are not a fish," replied the the other monk, "So you can't truly know that they are enjoying themselves." "You are not me," said the first monk. "So how do you know that I do not know that the fish are enjoying themselves?"
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I'm with you on the 2 am meeting. Admin is often very arrogant toward people who work nights and see no reason not to schedule things in the middle of your sleeping time.
But Davey, for the love of all this is unholy, please stop poking sticks at Clark. You're just giving him ammo. Management doesn't care if he's a pain in your a$$; they only care that you've become a pain in theirs.
Time to just walk around smiling sagely to yourself. Let the Clarks of the world be the Clarks of the world.
I got a correspondence from Rita, the corporate HR administrator, last week on my personal email basically saying she wanted to discuss this situation regarding the profanity and shift report incident. Now, Rita was the HR manager in March 2017 who dropped the ball on a grievance I had toward the psych division director.
I responded to Rita saying that, at my age, I stay on a MN schedule and requested a telephone conference. I said the least inconvenient time for me, for a face to face meeting in her office, would be early Wednesday morning.
If Rita accepts that day and time, I'm going to request it be held at 2 am.
Clark was down in the lobby when I came into work Friday chatting up the females. On my way to the restroom, as I passed him, I said in a relatively low voice, "Hot shot **** ant".
I know.
When I came out of the restroom, Clark was gone. I later heard, from a very good source who had worked as a house supervisor, Clark had gone into Mia's office and told on me. So, Saturday I saw Clark flitting around filing forms in nurses station. I stood at the doorway, feigned rubbing my eyes, and said "Waah! Waah! Mia! Dave's bein' mean to me!" I paused, smiled and said, "Just kiddin' Clark!"
Clark responded, "We will have our day together", to which I said, "Oh yes. We will".
This reminds me of a Zen tale:
Two monks were walking by a river. "Look at the fish swimming about," said one monk, "They are really enjoying themselves." "You are not a fish," replied the the other monk, "So you can't truly know that they are enjoying themselves." "You are not me," said the first monk. "So how do you know that I do not know that the fish are enjoying themselves?"
As I suspected, they wouldn't act on Clark when you filed multiple complaints but they're quickly reacting to you doing the same. Clark may be a nepotism hire, who knows. But what is certain is they're going to try to make an example out of you and give you a stern talking to, and hopefully that's all. Clark may have been recording you or waiting to play the victim role, as I also previously stated.
Please leave Clark alone. Learn the concept of see him and don't see him. His talking to may have consisted of staying away from you but now it will be made out to look as if you are harassing him. Just leave Clark be.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
I thank you for your comments and advice.
14 hours ago, NurseBlaq said:
As I suspected, they wouldn't act on Clark when you filed multiple complaints but they're quickly reacting to you doing the same.
Yes. I poked the bear and am ready to eat the bear or allow the bear to eat me.
7 hours ago, Hoosier_RN said:
Clark isn't worth losing your job, or the respect of others. But always come here to vent, or PM me prn!
Thank you so much for caring invitation, Hoosier, but I'm kind of enjoying this ride. And, I'm getting some support in other places.
We here on allnurses regularly read situations where someone is in predicament and is asking for support or advice as if others hold the map to the Wizard of Oz. I am charting my own course, coloring outside of the lines, poking some bears, and will deal with the ramifications thereof.
"The others creatures laughed and said, 'Fool! let go and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!' (Richard Bach, Illusions)
In no way can I give you all the particulars of thoughts, plans, and events that occur- I can merely give you a TV Guide synopsis, so: Stay Tuned!
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
I apologize, TriciaJ. I missed your post the first time around.
17 hours ago, TriciaJ said:
But Davey, for the love of all this is unholy, please stop poking sticks at Clark. You're just giving him ammo. Management doesn't care if he's a pain in your a$$; they only care that you've become a pain in theirs.
I stand behind a principle here, and that principle is that patient care and safety is the center of our existence.
I have noted that before, but I'm not sure I noted it here or in one of my professional correspondences.
If I allow the Clarks of the world to make self-centered endeavors more important than a reason for existing, then I may as well give up my principles and join an assembled group of anarchists.
Had the profanity thing been the only problem, I would not have put so much fervor into this cause. But Clark crossed the line when he brazenly interfered with patient safety and care. Had administration appropriately dealt with the profanity thing in a timely manner, the patient care and safety line may have never been crossed.
Because administration chose to ignore the first offense occurring in January, and the second bigger offense occurring in February, I allowed March madness to run rampant.
Due to poking the bear, I now have director's attention. As the result of an email sent early this past morning, the CEO is also involved. The CEO's secretary left a message on my answering machine later in morning to arrange a meeting time.
In nearly two months, the most I've gotten from the my supervisor, the director, and HR regarding these concerns are cursory email responses. In a matter of a few hours the CEO has reached out to me to arrange a face to face meeting, which if I didn't have a need to sleep, could have been today.
Involving the CEO may not change the situation one iota, but it will make it more interesting.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
14 minutes ago, Davey Do said:
Had the profanity thing been the only problem, I would not have put so much fervor into this cause. But Clark crossed the line when he brazenly interfered with patient safety and care. Had administration appropriately dealt with the profanity thing in a timely manner, the patient care and safety line may have never been crossed.
Not dealing with inappropriate staff member behavior is administration's modus operandi.
I have cases in my file where I wrote up staff members for inappropriate behavior, administration failed to act, more boundaries were crossed, and the behaviors escalated. In a couple of the cases, patient abuse was involved with one of the cases spurring a major policy and procedure change.
Davey Do
10,666 Posts
Yes!
Speaking of retirement, TriciaJ, I just joined a Forum of Old Folks who like to talk a lot about retirement.
I'm looking at less than two years, but come what may.