I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:
I believe:
Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.
Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"
It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.
My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.
In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".
"Bullhockey!" say I.
In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.
I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"
Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".
I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"
Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.
I ask people if they want the PC version or real talk because it's guaranteed to be some cussing with the real talk, especially if it's one of those days.
My beef is the nurses who call pts "Mamma or Papa". Drives me crazy.
I told one nurse that if I was addressed that way that would be the last time that nurse would be near me. So disrespectful.
I always start with Mr/Mrs and then later in the day ask if I may use their first name.
Let me school you real quick on some cultural competency. In some cultures, such as hispanic/ Filipino, " mama, papa, mamita, papi" are terms of endearment usually used to address the elderly. I work in a hospital that is majority hispanic, filipino and we use this term alot. I also find it very hilarious that you're getting triggered over the use of these terms. Dont come to our ER, or we gonna beef! LOL
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
33 minutes ago, Crojo1501 said:
Let me school you real quick on some cultural competency. In some cultures, such as hispanic/ Filipino, " mama, papa, mamita, papi" are terms of endearment usually used to address the elderly. I work in a hospital that is majority hispanic, filipino and we use this term alot. I also find it very hilarious that you're getting triggered over the use of these terms. Dont come to our ER, or we gonna beef! LOL
I once worked with a fantastic CNA from the Philippines. Everyone loved her and I was surprised when a patient expressed dissatisfaction. This was a somewhat large African American lady who did not appreciate being called "Big Mama".
I spoke to the charge nurse who buried her face in her hands for a minute before going off to do damage control.
Let me school you real quick on some cultural competency. In some cultures, such as hispanic/ Filipino, " mama, papa, mamita, papi" are terms of endearment usually used to address the elderly. I work in a hospital that is majority hispanic, filipino and we use this term alot. I also find it very hilarious that you're getting triggered over the use of these terms. Dont come to our ER, or we gonna beef! LOL
Well, I am not Filipino and I do not want to be addressed as ‘Mama”. I find it highly disrespectful. I have a real name. Use it. I want to be seen as an individual. I do not need “endearment”. And if you cannot respect that, go away.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 2/29/2020 at 7:01 AM, NurseBlaq said:
Clark ain't going anywhere
Nowhere soon, that's for sure, NurseBlaq. I was rather surprised to see Clark Saturday evening in the nurses station, filing forms. We said nothing to one another.
But then I got to thinking that if Clark's behavior is condoned, we should all reap the benefits of his precedent! So, Sunday, when I walked into the nurses station and found Clark filing some forms, in a loud friendly voice I said:
Clark went about his business, straightening forms, getting charts, and placing the forms in the charts. I sat down at the desk and said, "You know-I've been thinking and I've decided to accept your apology!"
Clark, without looking at me, scurrying back and forth in the nurses station, said in a low voice, "That's good Dave".
"****in' A!" I replied.
"I thought about what you said- you know: if profanity offends me, I should go work someplace else? Well, you're right- I do not want to be known as a 'Snowflake ****'!" Clark replied, "Dave, I just want to do my job". "Heh heh heh", I said and as he left, I bid Clark adieu with "Have a good ****ing day!"
Nowhere soon, that's for sure, NurseBlaq. I was rather surprised to see Clark Saturday evening in the nurses station, filing forms. We said nothing to one another.
But then I got to thinking that if Clark's behavior is condoned, we should all reap the benefits of his precedent! So, Sunday, when I walked into the nurses station and found Clark filing some forms, in a loud friendly voice I said:
Clark went about his business, straightening forms, getting charts, and placing the forms in the charts. I sat down at the desk and said, "You know-I've been thinking and I've decided to accept your apology!"
Clark, without looking at me, scurrying back and forth in the nurses station, said in a low voice, "That's good Dave".
"****in' A!" I replied.
"I thought about what you said- you know: if profanity offends me, I should go work someplace else? Well, you're right- I do not want to be known as a 'Snowflake ****'!" Clark replied, "Dave, I just want to do my job". "Heh heh heh", I said and as he left, I bid Clark adieu with "Have a good ****ing day!"
Fight fire with fire.
I don't recommend that either because Clark gets away with it but they'll ding you for it. Don't even put yourself in that situation. Clary saying "I just want to do my job" like he's some sort of victim and you're harassing him is a set up. Don't go down that rabbit hole. Matter of fact, his whole demeanor leads me to believe he had a good talking to but he's still not going anywhere, he was just told how to behave around you. Just my observation of the situation.
I don't recommend that either because Clark gets away with it but they'll ding you for it. Don't even put yourself in that situation. Clary saying "I just want to do my job" like he's some sort of victim and you're harassing him is a set up. Don't go down that rabbit hole. Matter of fact, his whole demeanor leads me to believe he had a good talking to but he's still not going anywhere, he was just told how to behave around you. Just my observation of the situation.
I agree with this assessment. But the thought of Davey Do dropping f-bombs like that just cracked me up!
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
9 hours ago, NurseBlaq said:
Matter of fact, his whole demeanor leads me to believe he had a good talking to but he's still not going anywhere, he was just told how to behave around you. Just my observation of the situation.
NurseBlaq has a point. Clark might well have had his come-to-Jesus talk in HR. You might be undermining that process by poking sticks at him at this point.
I have not read the entire thread, however I would like to leave a remark on the sentiment of this thread. I myself rarely curse, although I have worked in "private duty" in home environments that cursing was either taboo or welcomed. If any one were to cater to my personal preference, I do not mind the actual "vulgar word", but actually the sentiment of cursing behind the speaker's tounge.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Thank you all for your perspectives, generally led by NurseBlaq.
Yeah, profanity is not who I am nor wish to be. I use profanity very little and for shock value and that's what I intended for Clark in this situation. I received the reaction from Clark which I was aiming for: Nervousness and couldn't wait to get out the door. My action was an in-your-face aikido power play.
As far as I'm concerned, my offensive actions in this scenario are over. I've alerted and informed those in charge who need to know and can do something about the situation and now it's time to let it go.
I'll keep you posted if anything interesting comes up.
Tweety, BSN, RN
36,477 Posts
At least you ask.