Discharge orders you'd LIKE to write!!!

Specialties Emergency

Published

Hey, this quote from MLOS was in the middle of another thread:

"Maybe this is better suited to an ER thread, but here's a brief list of discharge instructions I would love to give some days:

1) ATVs & ETOH are bad.

2) Stop drinking a fifth of liquor each day - it's bad for you.

3) If you insist on OD-ing on your Klonopin, just take them all, DO NOT crush them & shoot them up w/your heroin.

4) If you go looking for a fight in a bar, you WILL find one.

:smackingf I could go on and on ..."

I think this is a great idea for a thread! I'd love to hear the responses from our ER nurses!!! :)

Have an old school ED doc who will write DC instructions like:

Get a job.

Have your relative get a job and move out.

Put your children to bed at 9pm EVERY night.

Watch your children more closely

:rotfl: OOOOHHHH how can we lure him to our hospital! haha!!! :rotfl:

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My guess would be that was on a very, very, very bad day.
One would hope so. I really hope that this RN has some vacation time coming up soon.
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To the CHF'er that decided to eat yet another ham dinner after Sunday services! Please do not eat anymore Ham and then tell me that you are swollen and can't breath.

To the person who has back pain that is allergic to Toradol and Morphine and states, "Dilaudid works great" The next time you come here and I am your nurse I will dilute the dilaudid in 10cc of NS and push it over 5 minutes just so that you don't enjoy it too much.

To the person that comes in requesting detox for the third time in a month. The program has not changed. Stop drinking stop doing drugs and stop expecting me to feel sorry for you, because the next time I see you it may be alive on a stretcher with a family of coding people in the next room because you didn't think a few drinks consisted of getting drunk.

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Specializes in PCT.

For future refrence this is not a restaraunt

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For those pesky foreign bodies:

  • Don't abuse produce

That would make a great bumper sticker!:p

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Specializes in 6 years of ER fun, med/surg, blah, blah.
Want to read a hilarious essay from an ER nurse? Check this Best of Craigslist entry out. It had me howling!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/por/67309047.html

Just another day in the front lines. I like to tell people who come in with a note from their Doc, that I have several other people with notes from their doctor ahead of them to be seen. So, have a seat, Precious.

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I hope that was only on a bad day...

ONLY a bad day?!?!?! It is obvious this is a veteraned ER nurse. Most of us have a "bad day" EVERY DAY. The patients (or their families) ARE rude, demanding, whiney, and very impatient over an illness that has been cultivating for days, weeks, or months! Why do we still do it? Every now and then....you and your fellow nurses assist or single-handedly save a life. Or you may get that heartfelt, genuine appreciation for the ice water,smile, or kind words we may have to offer. As someone once told me ( a patient ) " When I really needed you, a bona fide emergency, y'all were more than here for me". A frequent flier ( who had a pneumothorax LL base after being mugged),... there's your calling, your fate. Not a "bad day" as you call it, a reflection of their career choice.

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Regarding the craiglist letter...I don't see that as a nurse having a bad day. I see that as an average day working in triage. I would like to print that letter and pass it out to patients!!!

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Specializes in 6 years of ER fun, med/surg, blah, blah.
Regarding the craiglist letter...I don't see that as a nurse having a bad day. I see that as an average day working in triage. I would like to print that letter and pass it out to patients!!!

How about a folder with that craiglist letter, where to find OTC tylenol & motrin (gee, you can buy it at the store now?) & basics in taking care of yourself. I was again in Triage yesterday & had a 20 something guy tell me his temperature was low; 97F. I told him that was normal & where do people get this information, the internet? He didn't say anything else about him "abnormal" vital signs, after that. ;D

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Want to read a hilarious essay from an ER nurse? Check this Best of Craigslist entry out. It had me howling!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/por/67309047.html

Stupid internet filters here at work! I am "restricted" from that website. :angryfire

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Not a nurse yet but some I'd like to write:

1) Some orfices were meant as 'exit only'. Just because a Media star did it in a movie does NOT mean you can do it too.

2) You have COPD and asthma. Stop smoking 2 packs a day and your cough will go away. And you'll stay out of my hair.

3) A hospital is not a bordello.

4) Think a BP cuff hurts? Next time I'll show you what really hurts.

This weekend at work there was a 30 something pt. with COPD exac. It smelled as if you were in a bar. When she was told not to smoke in a hospital she said "the man across the hall was doing it. Not me." The man across the hall couldn't move his arms or legs so I doubt he could smoke a cigarette.

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Regarding the craiglist letter...I don't see that as a nurse having a bad day. I see that as an average day working in triage. I would like to print that letter and pass it out to patients!!!

It could be your ER's mission statement.

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