Discharge orders you'd LIKE to write!!!

Specialties Emergency

Published

Hey, this quote from MLOS was in the middle of another thread:

"Maybe this is better suited to an ER thread, but here's a brief list of discharge instructions I would love to give some days:

1) ATVs & ETOH are bad.

2) Stop drinking a fifth of liquor each day - it's bad for you.

3) If you insist on OD-ing on your Klonopin, just take them all, DO NOT crush them & shoot them up w/your heroin.

4) If you go looking for a fight in a bar, you WILL find one.

:smackingf I could go on and on ..."

I think this is a great idea for a thread! I'd love to hear the responses from our ER nurses!!! :)

Specializes in Peds ED, Peds Stem Cell Transplant, Peds.

Go to an adult hospital next time. This is for all the drunken DePaul students that think because they act like a child, they should come to the children's hospital.

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Specializes in Cath Lab, OR, CPHN/SN, ER.

Stop shaving your coochie and coming here in for your ingrown hairs. Shave gel and a decent razor do wonders.

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For the mom of my 4-year-old pt (several years ago, Easter Sunday, out west) with genital herpes contracted from her father: "Rip off this man's testicles slowly with dull instruments. Failing that, bring him to me." (Very sad, 6-year-old sister also had herpes from Dad, who was under investigation initiated by SANE. Still cry when I think about this kid.)

Anyone who molests children should be shot where they stand:angryfire

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Stop shaving your coochie and coming here in for your ingrown hairs. Shave gel and a decent razor do wonders.

Hahahahaha... Hey! That does really hurt!

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Stop shaving your coochie and coming here in for your ingrown hairs. Shave gel and a decent razor do wonders.
Really, OUCH!! All that itching and redness, or so I've heard. :saint:
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Specializes in Cath Lab, OR, CPHN/SN, ER.
Really, OUCH!! All that itching and redness, or so I've heard. :saint:

:chuckle :chuckle

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Specializes in NICU.
Stop shaving your coochie and coming here in for your ingrown hairs. Shave gel and a decent razor do wonders.

We had a guy on the medical floor who had to have surgery for an infected ingrown follicle the size of a SOFTBALL. And he had a GIRLFRIEND! HOW do you let it get to that point???? How, I ask you????

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Specializes in Cath Lab, OR, CPHN/SN, ER.
We had a guy on the medical floor who had to have surgery for an infected ingrown follicle the size of a SOFTBALL. And he had a GIRLFRIEND! HOW do you let it get to that point???? How, I ask you????

The gf or the bf? Cause there is no way in the world I'd let my hubby grow something that big on his body without me going after him with something to pop it. Refer to the pimple popping, sunburn peeling threads- I'm one of those. :chuckle

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Want to read a hilarious essay from an ER nurse? Check this Best of Craigslist entry out. It had me howling!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/por/67309047.html

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
Want to read a hilarious essay from an ER nurse? Check this Best of Craigslist entry out. It had me howling!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/por/67309047.html

WOW - that is one *seriously* ticked off ER nurse ...

... and everything he/she said is true.

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want to read a hilarious essay from an er nurse? check this best of craigslist entry out. it had me howling!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/por/67309047.html

i hope that was only on a bad day...

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My guess would be that was on a very, very, very bad day.

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