Did you just TRY to bully me?

Updated:   Published

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In general orientation after everyone has completed their health forms before lunch. After lunch the IC nurse is reviewing the forms and pipes up to the group (consisting of all departments not just nursing) "So Amanda, you haven't had the covid vaccine?" Gee Riley, is that a discussion for the whole group? "Well on Fridays all staff can go without masks and wear vaccinated tees that we gifted them with and there's a check mark sticker on their badge so everyone will know anyway." I respond oh, OK. No snark no sarcasm. Riley gets edgy and goes on a 5 minute rant that starts with don't you care about your patients you took an oath and ends with flu season is coming, how well do you think it will go for you if you get COVID, the flu and rsv at once? No response given because I felt that the entire exchange was unprofessional and chose to not participate.

1. I am not a crybaby or snowflake. I am  a vet and have been doing this a long time. I don't react out of feelings and this seemed overboard.

2. An employer has the right to set any rules they like. This includes the free I'm vaccinated tees and going maskless on Fridays. The check ✔ on the badges feels a little red A to me but still their choice.

3. Does the average nurse here think this tactic is OK? I understand wanting every nurse to choose vaccination but is trying to publicly embarrass them OK as well? 

I welcome all points of view but name calling and insults aren't welcomed or tolerated. Thanks guys.

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
16 minutes ago, CommunityRNBSN said:

Sure, the IC nurse was being unprofessional. And?  I sort of feel like most adults— especially in healthcare but probably in most fields— learn to roll with it. Just ignore it  

This week I sent a message to one of our primary care APRNs that went like this: “Our BH therapist was wondering whether X would be appropriate for this patient?” And I got back a response like this: “IF THEY ARE CONCERNED they should ORDER IT THEMSELVES!  Do NOT involve me in this patient’s psychiatric care!  THANK YOU!!”  It was inappropriate and unprofessional. *shrug*. Of course, I felt a flare of anger because she was disrespectful, but I’m not going to give myself a stroke over it. If I experienced a daily pattern of verbal abuse, that’s different. But your IC nurse making a scene once?  Shrug it off. 

While I agree that the person in your scenario was also unprofessional and used unnecessary snark I disagree that this is analogous to the OPs scenario. There is probably more history involved with the parties in your scenario and at the very least are already 2 employees speaking to each other. In the OPs case the OP is in a subordinate position and the IC nurse should be making/setting a good example of professionalism for all the new hires, not being unprofessional himself (which IMO he clearly was). Unprofessionalism should never be condoned or expected to be the norm but I do agree for colleagues sometimes it is best to just roll with it and let it go, depending on the situation.

3 hours ago, CommunityRNBSN said:

Sure, the IC nurse was being unprofessional. And?  I sort of feel like most adults— especially in healthcare but probably in most fields— learn to roll with it. Just ignore it  

This week I sent a message to one of our primary care APRNs that went like this: “Our BH therapist was wondering whether X would be appropriate for this patient?” And I got back a response like this: “IF THEY ARE CONCERNED they should ORDER IT THEMSELVES!  Do NOT involve me in this patient’s psychiatric care!  THANK YOU!!”  It was inappropriate and unprofessional. *shrug*. Of course, I felt a flare of anger because she was disrespectful, but I’m not going to give myself a stroke over it. If I experienced a daily pattern of verbal abuse, that’s different. But your IC nurse making a scene once?  Shrug it off. 

I didn't come close  to "having a stroke over it". After stints in psych, military hospitals and corrections it takes A LOT to even get on my radar. I just wanted the opinions of fellow nurses. It felt like another shift in nursing where the value and view of nurses is changing once again. 

Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.

Yes.  Nurses used to value vaccinations and public health recommendations...current vaccine reluctance could certainly be seen as a change in the values and views of nurses. IMV

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
10 hours ago, Conqueror+ said:

I just wanted the opinions of fellow nurses. It felt like another shift in nursing where the value and view of nurses is changing

You are right, the value and view of nurses by admin has significantly changed over the years. And obviously and unfortunately that has also changed by some fellow nurses as well. We should all be entitled to do what we feel is best for our personal situation without being dehumanized and devalued, and esp when those doing it have no clue about anothers personal situation.

I still agree that your IC nurse was completely unprofessional and also unnecessarily rude! I hope it was just him and not how this particular environment rolls all the time.

 

Specializes in Critical Care.

I would disagree that in a healthcare setting, vaccination status is a "personal" rather than "professional" topic.  A choice that presents the risk of avoidable harm to patients and other staff is not just "personal".  Issues of patient safety and public health in general are not something any nurse should expect to be immune from (no pun intended).

 

On 7/11/2021 at 6:16 PM, MunoRN said:

I would disagree that in a healthcare setting, vaccination status is a "personal" rather than "professional" topic.  A choice that presents the risk of avoidable harm to patients and other staff is not just "personal".  Issues of patient safety and public health in general are not something any nurse should expect to be immune from (no pun intended).

I understand. I didn't take issue with my vaccination status being discussed, I took issue with saying 3 times during the interview and offer that it was a "personal choice" and "something we don't push on anyone" because "nurses are people first" only to have him attempt this.

I spent my time sacrificing my life, family time and image on the altar of nursing and I'm done. I have valid personal reasons for not taking it and I'm not ashamed. I'm a nurse but I don't owe nursing my life. Thanks for your reply. 

Specializes in Critical Care.
21 minutes ago, Conqueror+ said:

I understand. I didn't take issue with my vaccination status being discussed, I took issue with saying 3 times during the interview and offer that it was a "personal choice" and "something we don't push on anyone" because "nurses are people first" only to have him attempt this.

I spent my time sacrificing my life, family time and image on the altar of nursing and I'm done. I have valid personal reasons for not taking it and I'm not ashamed. I'm a nurse but I don't owe nursing my life. Thanks for your reply. 

I get the frustration, but I don't think because that was the view of the person or persons you met with during the interview and offer that then no other nurse could or would abide by their professional responsibility to openly challenge those views.

I would agree there would be more justification for debate if vaccination offered you little to no benefit vs the risks and the only purpose was to protect patients and others, but regardless of your individual risk of harm from a Covid infection, the vaccine provides not just less risk, but exponentially less risk to you personally.

 

Specializes in oncology.

There is a new facebook gimmick of 'just ask a question for others to agree or disagree.' Of course the first question out of the chute..."should we REQUIRE covid vaccines?" Just agitating in my mind; just posted to agitate.  Many replies....let's pick a fight should actually  be the initial question. This post reminds me of that

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

There is also a gimmick used by people who don't like or agree with a poster. They either call them a troll or suggest the OP is lying about how the situation went down, hmmm...

Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
1 hour ago, Daisy4RN said:

There is also a gimmick used by people who don't like or agree with a poster. They either call them a troll or suggest the OP is lying about how the situation went down, hmmm...

Hhhmmm

"Lying" is your assessment.  We all should be aware that the emotional response of the OP may well be reflected in the retelling of the event.  It's a powerful thing to feel called out publicly, in this instance the individual felt bullied.  

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
On 7/10/2021 at 10:43 AM, toomuchbaloney said:

Assuming that it went down as described...

On 7/11/2021 at 9:16 PM, toomuchbaloney said:

Lying" is your assessment.  We all should be aware that the emotional response of the OP may well be reflected in the retelling of the event.  It's a powerful thing to feel called out publicly, in this instance the individual felt bullied.  

We all understand when we read peoples posts that there are feelings that OPs have re: what ever situation they are posting about. 

Perhaps then it would have been more helpful to expound on you first comment which read "Assuming it went down as described...

Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
On 7/11/2021 at 9:35 PM, Daisy4RN said:

We all understand when we read peoples posts that there are feelings that OPs have re: what ever situation they are posting about. 

Perhaps then it would have been more helpful to expound on you first comment which read "Assuming it went down as described...

Really? You don't understand what that implies or you are pushing back against the reality that I didn't call him a liar and only noted that we only have his accounting...not all sides.  

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