Did I Miss Something?

Posted
by AngelfireRN AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN Member Nurse

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP. Has 15 years experience.

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NurseCard, ADN

Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health. Has 13 years experience. 2 Articles; 2,847 Posts

My opportunity to vent a little =)

My husband was raised by SuperMom. She worked sometimes two jobs at a time, yet managed to keep their house absolutely spotless, AND do things like Band Mom, PTA Mom, etc etc etc...

I don't have that kind of energy, I wasn't BORN with that kind of energy, yet my husband seems to think that I should work full time and do pretty much all of the work inside AND outside of the house. Therefore, our house is a disaster the majority of the time.

He will do SOME work if I ask him to, leave him a list of chores, whatever, but I get sick to death of having to ask. He doesn't even pick up after himself; there are generally pop cans all over the living room.

Getting just a tad bit tired of putting up with it.

shoegalRN

shoegalRN, RN

1,338 Posts

I'll have to disagree, once again. Being African-American, the term, "colored" absolutely makes my skin crawl (mostly because it's heavily associated with a time period that was oppressive and violent). I absolutely abhor that word...yes, it's much better than the "n" word but it's still extremely distasteful to me. In fact, every time I hear someone use it (unfortunately, it's been quite a few times), I politely correct them.

In my book, there's no "polite" way to use the abhorrent term "colored". Again, that's just me.

When I was in nursing school, I was taking care of a little old lady, who was White, and about 75 years old. I had my big curly afro out in full effect and she asked me "Is all colored people hair curly like that"? I was kinda taken aback, but remembered she was an elder and calling a Black person "a colored" was probably acceptable speech in her time period.

I smiled at her and told her the politically correct term is "African American" and no, not all African Americans have curly hair. She looked at me kinda suprised and stated she never heard the term African American, but she said she will remember to use it for future reference. I wasnt offended, but a little shock people are still saying colored. I honestly didnt think the little old lady was being mean or offensive, but I was glad to let her know the terminology has changed for our time period.

AngelfireRN

AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP. Has 15 years experience. 2 Articles; 1,288 Posts

OK, bear with me on this one, but with respect to the NAACP, if the term "colored" is outdated, and if the group is really about what the title suggests, why on Earth have they not changed the mnemonic to NOT include a C? I may be way out in left field, but that doesn't make sense.

BTW, is it still acceptable to say Black? I ask just so I do not offend someone without meaning to. Thanks.

**All Heart RN**

**All Heart RN**

Specializes in Cardiac. 260 Posts

OK, bear with me on this one, but with respect to the NAACP, if the term "colored" is outdated, and if the group is really about what the title suggests, why on Earth have they not changed the mnemonic to NOT include a C? I may be way out in left field, but that doesn't make sense.

BTW, is it still acceptable to say Black? I ask just so I do not offend someone without meaning to. Thanks.

I agree! I have absolutely no clue as to why "colored" is still part of the acronym. As I mentioned before, the word just makes my skin crawl; I go into convulsions everytime I hear it due to the time period to which it's associated. I'm an equal opportunist-I'm against all people using it...I don't care if it's an elderly White person, an elderly Black person, a purple person, yellow. The term is just way too steeped in an oppressive time period. So thank you for making that point:wink2:

Also, I've never taken offense to anyone calling me "Black"...Black, African-American-it's just like saying White or Caucasian, in my opinion. Of course, you'll ask 10 people this question and get 10 different opinions...

A funny side note is that at school, there are a few South Africans in my program that are both White, and interestingly enough, also consider themselves to be African-American (they've been in the country for over 10 years).

mrsraisinkain

mrsraisinkain

Specializes in Hospice. Has 3 years experience. 293 Posts

A funny side note is that at school, there are a few South Africans in my program that are both White, and interestingly enough, also consider themselves to be African-American (they've been in the country for over 10 years).

My daugher would be "African-American" I guess - her dad was from Cape Town South Africa and I was born in raised in Ohio... but she has blonde hair and blue eyes and painfully pale skin. LOL

whipping girl in 07

whipping girl in 07, RN

Specializes in ICU, nutrition. Has 7 years experience. 697 Posts

WHO CAN SIT THERE AND PASS BY POOP ON THE FLOOR FOR DAYS AND NOT PICK IT UP?!

Ummm, my husband's aunt and uncle (and apparently their grown children and their son's wife)? They have multiple animals and they pee and poop ALL over her house! When we go to their house, we always stay outside and if anyone starts saying they need to go to the bathroom, that's my cue that it's time to head back to Grandma's. I'll even take my kids to the gas station (without being rude) before I'll let them even set foot in their house. I'm surprised their kids ever learned to use a toilet and didn't just poop in the corner like the dog does.

My husband said they've been like this as long as he's known them.

I'm a bad housekeeper but I'm Suzy Homemaker compared to that.

Right now I have 4 baskets of laundry sitting in the hall by the laundry room, waiting to be folded. I have a sink full of dirty dishes, although it's been almost a week since I've cooked a meal. I had the audacity to work the weekend, and we've been getting a new business up and running, so my husband and I are both tired but I work about twice as much as he does. He still expects the housework to be a 75-25 split (me doing 75% of course, because I'm "better" at it!) and he tries to delegate his responsibilities to our 12 year old!

DH is working right now and I'm sure he'll wonder why I didn't spend my day off cleaning the house when he gets home. I worked all weekend, he didn't spend his days off Friday and Sunday cleaning. I didn't say a word.

Haha...we're all home Saturday...guess what we're doing?????

coffee4metech

coffee4metech

Specializes in OR. 230 Posts

My husband and I both share domestic duties and try to cook dinner when we have the time ...which is rare with working and having a child !

I think splitting the duties makes it fair and easier for two working adults that live together .

moosemadness

moosemadness

35 Posts

Sound like to me most things said here are no big deal. Just consider the source and realize they lived in a different time... not a big deal as long as your husband and family are fine with it, who cares what they say.... truly, this isn't a reason to hold a gruge.. Besides, one day you will have a son in law or daughter in law and the times will be different and she will say the same thing about you... so who cares.......

paganoid

paganoid

Specializes in Quality Management. Has 5 years experience. 113 Posts

My situation may be a bit unusual, maybe not. My DH works as an instructor at a professional school, 10 hours/day. I'm in the last year of NS and I work full time in hospital administration. We have gone through three different housekeeping services trying to find one that can do more than wash dishes (we have an auto dishwasher). Every other Sunday we take all the laundry down to the Washarama and spend about $30.00 to get it all washed and folded in under two hours, using the super-duper giant washers. I made sure my marriage vows included exemption from folding any clothing that contains Velcro. Ech!

Fortunately, we have no children in the house so, as DINK's (double-income, no kids) we have the cash to burn. Sweet.

paganoid

linda535

linda535

Has 32 years experience. 16 Posts

Our kids came along late and very close together. I was at home on my "day off" recovering from 4 long OR days and an equally long on-call night. Both my toddlers were cranky, and vomiting, along with explosive diarrhea and dear MIL called to ask,

"Oh, you're not working today?"

She still assumes parenting isn't a job, even though her son rarely participates.

You are all absolutely right; some people just don't get it.

:banghead:

Linda

RAYLO!

RAYLO!

Specializes in L& D / GI NURSE. Has 7 years experience. 32 Posts

Wow, guess I'm lucky as far as housework/chores go. DH and DDx2 keep the house looking great on my working days. When I'm off, I do them, just b/c I feel like I'm not doing enough. DH and I take turns on making dinner, and on the nights we're both too tired... that's what delivery was invented for :)

The biggest issue I have w/ DH is getting him to understand that sometimes, I do have to stay late. It drives him up a wall if I'm not home 30 min after the end of my shift. He works for the city, so when 5 o'clock comes around, everyone is already getting in their cars, and he thinks that's how it should be for me too. Ummm, hello, emergencies happen, crappy shifts happen, we don't have the luxury of saying "Leave it, we'll finish up tomorrow."

My husband asks me why i just cannot leave when its time to go! i told him thats pt abandonment.

Edited by RAYLO!

wee one rn

wee one rn

Specializes in NICU, CVICU. 41 Posts

I think that my favorite comment is "You have to Work on christmas/new years/thanksgiving etc? They don't give you those days off??"

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