Did I keep my composure...too well?

[Tait]

I am going to make this story short, because I can't stand to think about it anymore.

Last night I had a patient, in for cardiac, but exhibiting classic DT/ETOH withdrawl symptoms. Odd thing is his "DT's" really had only shown (i.e confusion, hallucinations) at night. He was antsy during the day, but lucid and had been receiving Ativan through the day as well as at night.

He had exhibited signs of confusion and inappropriate behavior early in the night, about 2300. I had politely and quickly explained that asking me to lay in the bed, or trying to hug me was inappropriate. He gave me mumbled sentences and made comments about "how could you be married and be like this". I again explained, very directly his comments were inappropriate and left the room.

For the remainder of the night I kept another nurse with me anytime I had to help him up to the restroom etc.

This morning however the RN with me had to go, and I thought I had it all under control...until his 6'2" frame had me caught between him and the sink. He was very unsteady so I was afraid to move for fear he would fall and he leaned into me and asked for a hug. I stood there frozen attempting to keep my body away from him as he had the gall to kiss my neck.

I told him to stop and redirected him back to bed with a bit of effort.

At the time of the occurrence I was like, "ok at least he didn't hit me" but as I sat at the sink sloshing alcohol on my neck I started to feel bad.

As I recounted the occurrence to my husband I actually started to feel guilty! Like I had done something wrong! I talked it over with my husband and he said "well the problem sometimes with being molested is you feel like you did something wrong, when you didn't do anything wrong".

I just can't shake this creepy feeling, especially when the guy specifically called me in his room at shift change, using the call bell he hadn't used all night to ask me to "lay with me for 30 minutes, nothing will happen".

I just wonder, did my calm, focused demeanor screw me over in this case?

What would any of you have done in my case??

Disgusted,

Tait

[Keepstanding, ASN, RN]

you did the right thing. don't second guess yourself. if you had kneed him in the groin, he would just have lied about the situation and now you would be under scrutiny for defending yourself.

you did very well and i admire your courage.

praiser :heartbeat

[allennp]

Wow! as a "guy" nurse if a pt did that to me I would noty feel guilty but ****** off and consider it a assault! it sounds like you held it togther great. I would be rather methodical about it and find out the process in your facility. What if he had bit you? fall on you? I would file a report with your risk managment group and let them know that this occured.

In the past when caring for patients the "annoyed" me I would always make myself take them again. I guess as much to not allow them that control over my profession.

YMMV

ap

[Katie5]

*Sigh*, Fall precautions.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.If only he could be assigned just a male nurse.Not realistic I know, but worth wishing for.

You didn't do anything wrong. Just like we have to love the unlovable, however much it galls.Patient safety comes first.Again, *sigh* fall precautions.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Thank you all for the kind words! It was really nice to read after I woke up from my sleep.

I did report the incident to management, but as always they give a helpful pat on the back and that is about it.

I have to go back tonight, but he won't be on my team. As charge nurses we work well together to make sure if an RN requests off of a patient, that we make it work. So I am not worried about that, but as charge I know it will be my responsibility to help whomever is assigned to him out as well, but it will be limited I can assure you of that.

Thank you again for all the kind words today. I love and adore my husband more than life itself and I think coming home and looking into his blue eyes to explain someone else touched me is just a very emotional thing for a woman to have to do. But that gross feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone now, and serious Tait is back in the driver's seat!

Tait

[cebollita]

First of all, I love your Rudolph Icon! Second of all, your husband sounds awesome.

You definitely did the right thing, the patient sounds like the type of looser who would have just loved it if you got all excited. It would have egged him on for sure.

[freefalr]

tait: blech. i'm sorry you had to deal with that cr*p. i don't think i would have handled it as well as you did.

i'm happy you have a sweet hubby to come home to after a hard day.:heartbeat

i hope mr. creepo has been discharged by now...or will be soon...

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Sounds really yucky, Tait. There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping your composure. Staying calm under the circumstances is not equivalent to consent. Your husband sounds like a gem!

[MedSurgeMess]

make others aware, because you're probably not the only person this creep will try this crap with. Uggghhhhh

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

I think you did a great job, I like AngelfireRN, would have done something like she said. I too am very jumpy and impulsive. I remember once my female patient was trying to grab my shoulder and missed and her hand was going toward my boob area and I automatically "brushed" it away. She didn't even mean to and I didn't even notice it until the cna made a comment about it.

So kudos to you, you did great! Don't feel guilty! he was just a creep and you were to attractive for him to resist.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

make others aware, because you're probably not the only person this creep will try this crap with. Uggghhhhh

Oh he signed himself out AMA yesterday, threatening to break a window and leave that way.

Tait

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Surprise, surprise, and thank goodness!