Demanding family members

[PerfectlyNumb]

I had a repeat offender today, multiple visits to ER for unexplained abdominal pain with N/V (whom I also caught drinking water out of the sink when he had strict NPO orders). Labs show nothing, radiology show nothing. Pt also has not followed up as an outpatient with GI docs. He was all set to go home and then an angry family member showed up...."he can't go home, he's in pain, he's sick, you all usually keep him overnight and give him medicine, I'll just have to bring him back here again, I want to talk to the doctor right now." Doctor comes in and attempts to stand his ground, explaining the rationale for sending Pt home. Family member flips out and yells at doc, telling him that she wants to see his manager. Doc responds, "well, I am the doctor here tonight," then doc caves and admits the patient anyway. Ugh, the cycle repeats itself. Then the family member starts harassing me Q5 minutes, "when is his bed gonna be ready, the doctor told me there is a bed ready for him now, you are a RUDE nurse." Now, I try to keep my cool but I want to scream at her and say, hey lady, I don't waltz into your job and tell you how things should go, nor would I give you a timeframe based on my own theory of how things should be...why on earth do you think that staff at the hospital should follow your requests on demand? Hell, we aren't even capable of meeting instantaneous admission demands. Sometimes I just don't understand why patients and/or family think that they can have it your way, right away. This is not Burger King. Kind of a rant, I realize this.

[Racer15, BSN, RN]

I tell folks like that to simmer down or security will escort them out. Works a charm.

[Emergent, RN]

This is what I call 'No one in the family has a job or a life syndrome'. They all march in, mid-day, reeking of cigarettes, carrying 24oz soft drinks, making demands, bellies hanging out, often in their pajamas. Another, related, diagnosis is 'no-copayitis'.

These people are hard to deal with, to say the least. They come in all colors, shapes and sizes.

[nurse lala, BSN, RN]

It is really hard to establish boundaries after the highest authority caved in. In rugby this is called a suicide pass. The family is about to tackle the MD and he passed the ball to you without de-escalating the situation. You have every right to be mad. When you have had some time to get past the feelings, take some positive action. It is time for a crucial conversation with the MD. You and the dr need to put your heads together to come up with a game plan for when the offender returns. Develop a plan of care, then stick to it.

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

Do we work together because this sounds so familiar haha

[Nola009]

Well, these are the same people who probably cuss out the BK drive-thru order taker when they don't recite back their long-winded, complicated "MY WAY RIGHT AWAY" burger, verbetim. OR, the kind who would make one of those ridiculously complicated hamburger orders, often claim it was WRONG, & DEMAND to have their money back or another one for free. That's just what it sounds like to me...

[HikingEDRN, BSN, RN]

Ugh, why did the doctor cave and admit????? The docs who don't are my heroes (and they still have a job, despite the almighty "patient satisfaction"). And they do exist - I work with some of them. However, I work with more like the OP's colleague

[mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN]

We have a person that we can call for these kinds of events. Patient-Visitor Relations rep. None of us have time for that crap.

[skylark, BSN, RN]

I agree, when the doc caves in you are sunk.

When the doc does that I try to direct the family to the doc to answer all their questions and find them some food and drink, and I tell them that the doc is finding the bed for them.

But I love the idea of a Patient-Visitor Relations rep.

I want one : )

[sweetdreame, BSN, RN]

The reason people think that the staff of the hospital should follow their requests is because when they scream enough... their requests DO get followed. Just like the physician admitting the patient against his better judgment...pathetic!

The squeaky wheel gets the grease!!!

[PerfectlyNumb]

You've got that right SweetdreameRN, unfortunately, the squeaky wheel does get the grease most of the time. Rewarding people for their bad behavior just perpetuates the problem. I don't know of many other jobs where "customers" believe they have the right to be abusive to staff! It's funny that people feel comfortable treating nurses and other hospital staff like incompetent dummies, but have enough trust in us to care for them. It just doesn't make any sense. Believe me, if you are in need of admission because you are truly sick, I fully support it.

Thanks for all the responses, I know we have all dealt with similar situations at some point.

[SeattleJess]

It is really hard to establish boundaries after the highest authority caved in. You and the dr need to put your heads together to come up with a game plan for when the offender returns. Develop a plan of care, then stick to it.

Right on.