Define: Nurses Eating Their Young

sayitgirl · Aug 30, 2005

It's just that the older nurses are the ones with all the power so they're more likely to get away with it. I'm not defending the battleax terminology. However if a newbie comes into a unit with a bad attitude she will be smushed within about 12 hrs.

The newbie joins in with the oldtimers using them as her shield against the abuse....kinda of like if I join in they will not bother me...sad but true...until it is her turn to be abused...

mydesygn · Aug 30, 2005

The bad thing is when the management is right in on the backstabbing...I have recently been finding out some things our boss does...when all the nurses are getting along she will tell one another said something about her...that is a total LIE! :angryfire Why would anyone act like this...especially a boss? It drives me CRAZY? Recently I and another nurse have been victims of her lies. We want to confront her...any suggestions on how to do so without ticking her off?

I worked with a nurse who had complaints about another manager, she choose to voice those complaints with the manager's director present. If you want to pursue this ask to have a meeting with your manager and her director to discuss the issues, come prepared with solid information not he say-she say. You need to be sure that the indiviual who heard the information is willing to testify to that. There is no way to do this without making her angry but you and your co-workers need to be on record with her behaivior.

sayitgirl · Aug 30, 2005

I worked with a nurse who had complaints about another manager, she choose to voice those complaints with the manager's director present. If you want to pursue this ask to have a meeting with your manager and her director to discuss the issues, come prepared with solid information not he say-she say. You need to be sure that the indiviual who heard the information is willing to testify to that. There is no way to do this without making her angry but you and your co-workers need to be on record with her behaivior.

Make sure you know what side of the fence your director is on before you do this sometimes they are on the same side...it can come back as a nightmare ..do your homework well...

mattsmom81 · Aug 30, 2005

Divide and conquer...if managers can keep their employees in a state of infighting, she has easier control. It is dysfunctional but seems rampant in nursing... keep the unit in personal chaos. I've worked units where huge issues are NOT dealt with (lack of adequate supplies, etc) but the focus IS on the personal dynamics/individuals, backbiting, who said what, etc. I guess it is easier to focus on individuals than look at systems problems, and too many times managers prefer we stay in this childlike bickering mode so we don't have the energy to look at bigger issues that may impact the manager.

Personally I like working with professionals...but even professionals will lash out at one another in a desperate attempt to feel some kind of power in their situation (even docs do it.) Its not right but it happens. And I agree its not always the older 'battleaxe' nurses doing this with young sweet things, either...I've seen just the opposite.

mydesygn · Aug 31, 2005

Divide and conquer...if managers can keep their employees in a state of infighting, she has easier control. It is dysfunctional but seems rampant in nursing... keep the unit in personal chaos. I've worked units where huge issues are NOT dealt with (lack of adequate supplies, etc) but the focus IS on the personal dynamics/individuals, backbiting, who said what, etc. I guess it is easier to focus on individuals than look at systems problems, and too many times managers prefer we stay in this childlike bickering mode so we don't have the energy to look at bigger issues that may impact the manager.
Personally I like working with professionals...but even professionals will lash out at one another in a desperate attempt to feel some kind of power in their situation (even docs do it.) Its not right but it happens. And I agree its not always the older 'battleaxe' nurses doing this with young sweet things, either...I've seen just the opposite.

I personally beleive a lot of managers are ill equipped to be effective as managers. positions are given to the nurse who has been there the longest or the most well regarded. These are not the indiviuals who are most effective, they may make the staff "feel" better by dealing in their feelings about issues but rarely does this lead to real change. Men typically deal in issues not long discussions about what needs to be done but delegating of tasks and expectations of completion. Unfortunately, I am a "get her done" kinda gal who doesn't beleive a committee is necessarry for every single issue. Needless to say I have a few that are going to dig their heals in but I beleive that the majority want real change and I will not allow the dissuaders and pot-stirrers prevent it.

bluesky, BSN, RN · Aug 31, 2005

I personally beleive a lot of managers are ill equipped to be effective as managers. positions are given to the nurse who has been there the longest or the most well regarded. These are not the indiviuals who are most effective, they may make the staff "feel" better by dealing in their feelings about issues but rarely does this lead to real change. Men typically deal in issues not long discussions about what needs to be done but delegating of tasks and expectations of completion. Unfortunately, I am a "get her done" kinda gal who doesn't beleive a committee is necessarry for every single issue. Needless to say I have a few that are going to dig their heals in but I beleive that the majority want real change and I will not allow the dissuaders and pot-stirrers prevent it.

I think that is very important and true just here is my question... how do you go about ascertaining what all the real facts of a situation are?

Annor · Aug 31, 2005

Yep..it happened to me too, as a new nurse (floating nurse) to a med -surg floor.....took report from a nurse ..i was coming on to the 3-11 shift....she freaking belittled me in front of the entire staff on the floor,,,,just because I asked ,if this pt needed a 2 man-assist in transfer , I never had,this pt before.Did ask something wrong??????...

She yelled out on the floor, with attidue... " I am a experinced nurse, I DONT NEED A 2 MAN ASSIST"....well, excuuuuuussse me!! She gave me such a hard time with report, blah,blah,blah!!!

Well...there is a moral to this story.....a few weeks later...this same nurse ended up, as a pt in the hospital.....well guess who was her nurse for the evening.???...YEP, ME! :rotfl:

I asked her if she wanted a different nurse to care for her....she said no...she was such a sweet pt for the entire shift. I showed her a thing or 2 about a new nurse . She even thanked me at the end of my shift........ :rotfl:

It is a small world...even in NURSING.

Annor

I see this posted all the time. I always thought it was someone who deliberately embarrasses or has a tantrum for the express purpose of making the other person feel small and/or stupid in front of others. Am I wrong in this thinking?

mattsmom81 · Aug 31, 2005

Yep..it happened to me too, as a new nurse (floating nurse) to a med -surg floor.....took report from a nurse ..i was coming on to the 3-11 shift....she freaking belittled me in front of the entire staff on the floor,,,,just because I asked ,if this pt needed a 2 man-assist in transfer , I never had,this pt before.Did ask something wrong??????...
She yelled out on the floor, with attidue... " I am a experinced nurse, I DONT NEED A 2 MAN ASSIST"....well, excuuuuuussse me!! She gave me such a hard time with report, blah,blah,blah!!!
Well...there is a moral to this story.....a few weeks later...this same nurse ended up, as a pt in the hospital.....well guess who was her nurse for the evening.???...YEP, ME! :rotfl:
I asked her if she wanted a different nurse to care for her....she said no...she was such a sweet pt for the entire shift. I showed her a thing or 2 about a new nurse . She even thanked me at the end of my shift........ :rotfl:
It is a small world...even in NURSING.
Annor

What she did was wrong...but you handled it perfectly! :)

KrysyRN, BSN · Sep 1, 2005

The bad thing is when the management is right in on the backstabbing...I have recently been finding out some things our boss does...when all the nurses are getting along she will tell one another said something about her...that is a total LIE! :angryfire Why would anyone act like this...especially a boss? It drives me CRAZY? Recently I and another nurse have been victims of her lies. We want to confront her...any suggestions on how to do so without ticking her off?

I would not confront your boss. She's too twisted and sounds a bit sociopathic. I would go to your DON. Pronto. If your boss is telling lies about you, document EVERYTHING (dates, times, what has been said, etc.), then present this to your DON. Your boss needs to be fired for what she is doing. What if these lies your boss tells reaches the ears of another nurse who feels the state board of nursing should know? Next thing you know, you might be involved in an investigation of you.

christvs, DNP, RN, NP · Sep 1, 2005

Yep..it happened to me too, as a new nurse (floating nurse) to a med -surg floor.....took report from a nurse ..i was coming on to the 3-11 shift....she freaking belittled me in front of the entire staff on the floor,,,,just because I asked ,if this pt needed a 2 man-assist in transfer , I never had,this pt before.Did ask something wrong??????...
She yelled out on the floor, with attidue... " I am a experinced nurse, I DONT NEED A 2 MAN ASSIST"....well, excuuuuuussse me!! She gave me such a hard time with report, blah,blah,blah!!!
Well...there is a moral to this story.....a few weeks later...this same nurse ended up, as a pt in the hospital.....well guess who was her nurse for the evening.???...YEP, ME! :rotfl:
I asked her if she wanted a different nurse to care for her....she said no...she was such a sweet pt for the entire shift. I showed her a thing or 2 about a new nurse . She even thanked me at the end of my shift........ :rotfl:
It is a small world...even in NURSING.
Annor

Annor-what an awesome story! That is too funny that she ended up being your patient! You totally handled the situation with real professionalism. Way to go! :)

-Christine

crjnursewarrior · Sep 2, 2005

I would not confront your boss. She's too twisted and sounds a bit sociopathic. I would go to your DON. Pronto. If your boss is telling lies about you, document EVERYTHING (dates, times, what has been said, etc.), then present this to your DON. Your boss needs to be fired for what she is doing. What if these lies your boss tells reaches the ears of another nurse who feels the state board of nursing should know? Next thing you know, you might be involved in an investigation of you.

Thanks for all the advice...as it turns out I did not have to confront my boss...someone else brought some things to her attention, so at the nurse's meeting yesterday she apologized to everyone for her recent unprofessional behavior and said that it would not happen again. The things she was lying about were more of personal nature, not professional, like saying I said something about a coworker that I had not said. I know we all get caught up in that silly he-said she-said stuff sometimes, but I have never had someone just blatantly lie about what I said...so hopefully the issue is all resolved. Time will tell the tale!! :coollook:

Trauma Columnist · Oct 29, 2016

Nurses not being as nice as they should is a problem that has been a problem for many years.

What do you, as an experienced nurse do to welcome new nurses to your unit?

Is your unit a welcoming atmosphere?