Death Is A Journey

When you are a nurse who takes care of patients who are actively dying, it can be not only very rewarding, but a profound experience of the heart, mind and spirit. It is a process. And like any process, needs a guide. And as nurses, you may find yourself a guide into a patient's whole being. What someone may have been in an active life can and does change when one is looking death in the eyes. It can be up to a nurse to say that it is OK to let go...

It is always a good thought when one decides they would like to die at home. Surrounded by loved ones, in their own beds. But as the time grows near, many decide that they would rather be in a hospital room, surrounded by loved ones, with a nurse who gives the medical care so that the patient and the family can connect, remember, and say all of those things that they ever wanted to say in a focused way.

The job of the nurse needs to be non-obtrusive, but consistent. Which is not always an easy task. Often, nurses are the "control" in what is otherwise a non-controlled situation. Communication is essential, as family reacts better when they can help make decisions (if you think that your mother is uncomfortable, please ring for me, otherwise I will be back in a half hour). There are patients who react poorly to pain medication, as if they are a "type A" in control person, the feeling of being on a "trip" is something that they don't like, and will often fight. So go easy. It is a well choreographed ballet of pain control and functional level until the patient is able to learn to go with it, and fall into the ebb and flow of comfort and peace. I always remind myself of a little rhyme my grandmother used to say "Very softly I will walk, very softly I will talk". The nurse is the leader in the atmosphere in the room.

Patients are really very vulnerable when death is staring down at them. But some of the things that they will say to you is so profound, rich with life lessons, that it can be the most rewarding time for them, and for you.

It is so important for a family to say that it is OK for someone to let go. Which is a heart wrenching process, but never the less an important one. The ultimate goal is peaceful. As pain free as possible. With people talking and singing and guiding or silence and praying and the sunlight streaming in.

Really listen, and you can hear a brilliant mind at work. Some patients will give you every bit of advice that you would ever want, what you should be cooking for dinner, get your haircut honey to you need to be married and have kids. Other patients will reminise about the time in their lives they were young and fun and full of life. Still others will tell you that their loved ones who have passed are just right there waiting for them, and take their last breath.

In the end doens't matter if as a nurse, you are religious, non-religious, spiritual or non-spiritual. You will, however, feel like you have taken a surreal journey. What matters is that the patient experiences peace, and is able to die in the way they would like to, whenever humanly possible, and as nurses, it may come a time that you can make that happen for someone.

They say that life is a journey. I would add that so is death. You begin to face things that you never may have thought possible. It is a journey of the spirit, if not a spiritual journey.