Dead Babies...To Get It Off My Chest

Nurses General Nursing

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I was floating to the ED this AM and everything was peaceful with kidney stones and inflamed bursas when a mother came screaming in with the dreaded blue baby in a carrier. I assisted in coding her for three hours. She had a subdural hematoma and had been shaken. I was dismayed to learn that she had an anoxic brain injury from being shaken several months prior this.

I'm sick.

I have always find it ironic that so many nursing students think of pediatrics as a "nice" specialty -- all full of cute kids and loving parents, etc. They think that going into peds as a specialty will be less stressful and more pleasant than careers in other specialties. After all, the kids are so cute! ... And the nurses get to play with them!

Yet, in reality, some of the most emotionally draining cases are in peds -- and peds nurses are required to be just as smart and just as mentally tough as nurses in other specialties.

I feel very sorry for the poor little kid in the OP -- and for all those involved who had to become involved in that tragic situation. But as other peds nurses have posted, such sad cases are more common than we would all like to think. There are just too many families out there who provide terrible homes for their children and our social welfare system is often too overwhelmed to prevent much.

You definately hit the nail on the head. I am a student nurse about to graduate. Before I even started nursing school I was sure I would be destined for pediatrics. Because the babies and kids are soooo cute! That is until I did a clinical rotation on a peds floor for several weeks. I was a wreck. My first pt. was a previously SBS baby and it was heartbreaking to see the child in a vegetative like state. The next day I was not able to tend to the same pt. because it had become a state case overnight after they found benzos and amphetamines in his system!!! Although the child was 3 there was no way he ingested those himself, he couldn't walk, talk or barely move let alone be able to obtain the pills to swallow them. I was disgusted. I came home and cried. And that wasn't the only horrible case. I told my husband I must be the most naive person to ever live because before I entered nursing school I lived in this "happy" bubble where no "bad things" happend. I was shocked everytime I came to clinicals during that rotation.

I still love nursing with a passion and that experience didn't turn me off from nursing, just from pediatrics. It takes an amazing person to deal with incidents like that on a daily basis. Some people are cut of for it and some are not but I don't think just because there are certain "situations" you can't deal with that you are not in the right area.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this OP, everyone has some great words of wisdom and advice in this thread.

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This kind of **** really ****** me off, if I may be so bold. I don't understand why people feel the need to do this kind of stuff. If you don't want a child, give it up for adoption. Don't take your anger out on the baby because YOU weren't responsible enough to use birth control!

Rant aside, my sympathies for the OP. I'm so sorry you had to face such a terrible situation, but I'm thankful that you were a part of an abuse case where you were able to feel some kind of justice. Too many times does abuse go unnoticed - at least you can rest easy knowing that this was not such a case.

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Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.
You definately hit the nail on the head. I am a student nurse about to graduate. Before I even started nursing school I was sure I would be destined for pediatrics. Because the babies and kids are soooo cute! That is until I did a clinical rotation on a peds floor for several weeks. I was a wreck. My first pt. was a previously SBS baby and it was heartbreaking to see the child in a vegetative like state. The next day I was not able to tend to the same pt. because it had become a state case overnight after they found benzos and amphetamines in his system!!! Although the child was 3 there was no way he ingested those himself, he couldn't walk, talk or barely move let alone be able to obtain the pills to swallow them. I was disgusted. I came home and cried. And that wasn't the only horrible case. I told my husband I must be the most naive person to ever live because before I entered nursing school I lived in this "happy" bubble where no "bad things" happend. I was shocked everytime I came to clinicals during that rotation.

I still love nursing with a passion and that experience didn't turn me off from nursing, just from pediatrics. It takes an amazing person to deal with incidents like that on a daily basis. Some people are cut of for it and some are not but I don't think just because there are certain "situations" you can't deal with that you are not in the right area.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this OP, everyone has some great words of wisdom and advice in this thread.

I always felt PEDs was my destination. Still do, even though getting to ICU has been my primary goal lately. Something funny happened though. My travel contract got cut short and I was forced to start applying to whatever staff positions I could get. Figured I had to put my plans of going into the ICU on the back burner.

One of the first places to contact me about a position was a hospital back in my hometown, who needs PEDs nurses badly. After talking to the HR person on the phone for awhile, I realized they were nudgeing me towards the unit that handles PEDs Oncology. Apparently, thats where their biggest shortage is. That is, too a tee, the exact position I have always pictured myself in. People tell me "Dont go there, dont do that, its too sad" but I see it differently. Someone has to do it. So what if I get a little down from it, its a very respectable position to accept. I would be honored to take that position and plan to if it is offered. There has to be a time where you put your own feelings aside and realize, people need help, I went into nursing to be of service to my community, I can do it and help these people during a very difficult time. I realize the majority of my patients wont make it and I'll be more or less consoling parents, but again, someone has to do it.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

A few years ago we had a rescue call in the middle of the night to a house for an unresponsive baby. Turned out that mom was off working a midnight shift, dad was home with the baby. Baby got into a crying jag - who knows why - hungry, teething whatever... and dad not only shook the baby, but then threw that beautiful baby out the 2nd story window when he wouldn't stop crying after a severe shaking. Dad denied shaking, denied the window but the scrapes on the baby and the police investigation suggested otherwise. The baby was dead when we got to the house - i said a little prayer and thanked God for taking that baby back from all that pain. The worst part had to have been for that mother to get the call at work as to what happened. Dad was convicted, though i don't recall his sentence.

When i think back on that night and i read all the other stories being shared, I just want to go home right now and hold and rock my daughter. It boggles my mind how someone can purposefully hurt a baby.

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I am a FireFighter as well, I have seen somethings that breaks my heart.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.
I realize the majority of my patients wont make it and I'll be more or less consoling parents, but again, someone has to do it.

Actually, peds cancer survival is not as bleak as you think. Many, many kids not only survive their cancers but live long productive lives. In 2000, one young adult in 1000 was a survivor of childhood cancer. My own son was one of them; after 3 1/2 years of chemotherapy, 20 visits to the radiotherapy department, a liver transplant and multiple life-threatening complications, he is thriving. Sure, some of the families we met back then have lost their children, but most of them have not. Your primary psychosocial role as a peds oncology nurse will be one of supporting the family in their decision-making, and empowering them to be involved, hands-on care-givers for their children.

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

reading everyone's reply just got me to think, that sometimes we are exposed to the worst of humanity and it DOES stay with us forever. Each of us can at least recall one event from many years back, or worst-yesterday.

The imprint and impact each individual situation brings to an end, is up to us to decide how we will carry it. Many of these times scar us permanently, some affect of briefly, but all these events change who we are and how we practice.

What now? Is how we show up the next day still hurting but wiser and stronger. Ya'll are a great bunch of people and I think this is why we clock in the next day strong. (yep, still hurting but we do it) I love nursing. And I've really enjoyed this thread as people have been so open with what is so hard to discuss at times. great thread.

OP, I'm sorry you went through this, I hope you are stronger soon.

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

Not to hijack the thread and I apologize in advance, sorry group; to firefightin RN and Mark P. just wanted to say thanks to you. Had a house fire while everyone was home, lost almost everything but saved everyone due to valiant people like you. In the midst of our fire, the fire fighters took down family pictures off the wall, moved objects that were of value to safe keeping, instead of worrying about their safety. Brought out valuables with each pass! Few people know what goes on in a fire, luckily. While it's never about the stuff... to know that people like you two are out there for us and risk their lives for us makes me so proud. so thank you.

Again sry group but I had to give a group thanks, not just a pm because these are beautiful people.

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Specializes in PACU, ED.

During my nursing school clinicals I had a pt, 10months old, respirator, post hemicraniectomy due to massive damage. He had "rolled off the kitchen counter" a week before while in dad's care. Mom thought the child was kinda lethargic. A neighbor insisted they call 911 and dad left before EMS arrived. The police were still searching for him. In my week there, I never saw the mother. The grandmother came in a few times but didn't stay long. I learned that I can't do that kind of nursing. My skin is too thin and my heart too fragile.

God Bless peds nurses. We dearly need peds nurses but I can't be one. I can't handle seeing abuse that closely.:cry:

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Specializes in Med Surg/Ortho.

I know things like this happen every day, I know someone personally whose child was shaken by a caregiver. But I don't understand it. I never will. I have two beautiful children. They drive me crazy at times. When I had my first, my daughter, my husband was in Iraq, and for the first 2 months she never slept. I held her all day and night. She had colic and cried constantly. At times I thought I would go crazy, and maybe I would have if I hadn't had such supportive parents and friends. But I never once would have shaken her, or my son. There is nothing sicker than a parent that could hurt a child, a baby. How could any person hurt an innocent kid?? It breaks my heart to think about it. If anyone hurt my child, I don't care if it were a friend, my parents, my husband....they just better hope the cops find them first because I would hurt them in unimaginable ways.

And I have to say a big thank you to the OP and all the peds nurses for having such an emotional and sometimes heartbraking job. I always thought I would want nothing to do with peds, but lately I have been thinking about it. I think caring for someone who is helpless, someone who couldn't help the situation they are in, would be a wonderful career. And having kids myself, and being through some scary times, I can empathize with the parents as well. But I wonder if I could handle all the horrible things on a daily basis.

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This post really hits home right now. My son is on Cocaine and he is shaking and hitting his daughter. She is six months old, but she was a preemie. She is a really good baby and I feel helpless. I have notified social services and the military. My son is in the Army. I am looking into getting a lawyer, but I really don't know what my chances are of getting the baby away from mom and dad. I feel like something really bad is going to happen. All of this on top of nursing school!!

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The laws need changed in this country....way too much of this. Often only one parent or caregiver is sent to jail for a year or two, while the other one gets off for framing the other one. In most cases, they have either watched or participated in the abuse prior to a childs death. More children and pets are being abused today related to the economy.

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