Crying about my job...

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I am a 21 year old new graduate with about 6 months of experience. I feel like crying... I had a horrible day at work. My day started out ok. Then I was yelled at by a doctor since he wasn't informed of a consult that was placed a few days ago. I wasn't even working then. He yelled at me in front of everyone. Then my charge nurse yelled at me because I was slow to transfer a patient to another facility because I was going downstairs to the pharmacy to pick up a medication. I just wanted to give the medication before the patient left. I was really hurt when she yelled at me because I look up to her, and I consider her as a friend. Then as I was walking away I heard her tell a doctor (who is very nice) that I annoyed her. She may have said more but I was already too far to hear. That doctor has always been nice to me, but now he might think I'm incompentent. Yes, I'm probably being too sensative, and yes, doctor's yell, but why is that our norm? Why is it normal for us to get yelled at? I'm just too hurt. When I was on the elevator on my way to pick up the medication, I just started crying. I was overwhelmed. That day I had two admissions (one direct admit), infusing blood, two discharges, and had to count the narcotics. This is not including the wound cares and medication administrations. I went home late that night. I'm so stressed. I can't sleep at night, and I just cry so much over this job... over this CAREER that I now deeply regret choosing. I went into nursing to care for people, but I feel that nurses lose that care and it just becomes a job. I feel like I'm losing it too. I've never known for people (especially the nurses and doctor's) to be this mean and disrespectful to fellow co workers. There is so little regard for each other... So little respect... I feel that I have to scream and get angry to be heard... for the cna's to ask what I delegate for them to do, or to ask another nurse for help or for their opinion... I just don't want to do that... I don't like being mean... I don't WANT to be mean... I feel that being mean is a necessity for nursing... Sorry for the long post... I just had to vent... Thanks...

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Sorry to hear about your job problems. Unfortunately, my experience is that when I am nice to my co-workers they think I am "weak" and they try to walk all over me. If I want something done I have to be very assertive. Hope things will get better for you . Good luck :)

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

I'm a very nice guy. Maybe because I'm male, but my niceness doesn't get me walked all over. Don't think you have to be mean to get along in nursing.

Were you really "yelled at" because yelling by anyone is unprofessional and shouldn't be tolerated. There is probably a chain of command in place for inappropriate behavior from MDs like this. But if it wasn't yelling, then maybe you just need to blow it off.

The charge nurse on the other hand you have to work with day in and day out. She/he needs a talking to face to face from you that you don't appreciate what she said and did. Nip it in the bud. You can still be nice about it, but if you don't address it now it's going to happen again.

You're new, give yourself a break. All the feelings of being overwhelmed and disillusioned with the realities of nursing is normal. You don't have to loose any of your compassion to survive in nursing.

Best of luck to you. Hang in there.

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Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.

:icon_hug: (((((((((((((LearningRN)))))))))))) I'm so sorry you had such a crappy day. It doesn't sound like the rest of the time at this job has been that bad. Has it? Was it just this day where things crashed down and overwhelmed you? If all your days are like this, change jobs - start looking. If this was a pretty isolated incident, take a deep cleansing breath and put it behind you. I know I had a breaking point like that, and it was precipitated by someone yelling at me for something I had no control over. Plus a whole lot of other stuff that happened that night. I cried and cried and cried - right there trying to give report.ds

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Tweety is right - you do need to talk to the charge nurse. She was very unprofessional.

We have a representative from nursing that liasons with a rep from the docs and there is a procedure for grievances . . doc who is upset about shabby care of patient by nurse or nurse who is upset about doc treating nurse unprofessionally. (No, we are not a union facility - this is mandated program).

steph

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho.

Sounds like everyone was having a bad day. This sounds a little cliche but s*** rolls downhill unfortunately. You are in your practice only 6 months or so,, and you still have a way to go before you will be fully comfortable and able to juggle all those things going on at once. Try not to let yourself get to stressed at work. I spent the first year after school, frustrated, stressed, didnt feel like i was managing my time well. And i shed my own amount of tears locked up in the staff bathroom. But i decided i wouldnt ever let them see it. I would lie through my teeth before i let them know the stress got the best of me.

I realized one day that i am only one person, i can do one thing at a time(even though you may be thinking of the next thing on your list) and everyone will be there in 10 minutes waiting for me. I had to decide that i wasnt going to let the job kill me first with the stress.

You do need to go to the NM or whomever it was and discuss any difficulties you might be having. She needs to stand up for you where the doc is concerned, but she was probly to busy trying to keep her own behind from being yelled at. Unfortunately, you got the brunt of his agitation at not being called. Dont let him scare you, he cant bite ya, just next time you see him speak to him, do what you can for him and make sure you dont ever forget to call a consult to him when you are responsible for it.

Your story sounds so familiar to many of us im sure. Hang in there.

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I am a 21 year old new graduate with about 6 months of experience. I feel like crying... I had a horrible day at work...I don't WANT to be mean... I feel that being mean is a necessity for nursing... Sorry for the long post... I just had to vent... Thanks...

I HATE being mean - thus, I end up doing my job and half the other people's jobs poorly. End up having someone say I had "poor work habits" because I worried about a deadline the FACILITY had (new med admin sheets) more than I worried about getting out of work at 0659. BOY did that tick me off!

Then the CNA's that I just HATED to bother, and so, get my 0600 meds out late ... poor work habits.

What happened is I ended up leaving nursing several times due to anxiety and depression. I'm not saying my lack of cojones (look it up in a Spanish dictionary) caused my eventual total disability at 46 years old (mental illness) but it sure as hell didn't help.

Decide what you like. PLEASE don't be miserable for 20 years. I tried many many things in nursing. Agency was best because I could write my own ticket, and I could leave when I wanted to.

I still recommend you get some :balloons: though, ROFL!

Good luck to you and God bless you! ;)

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Thank you all for the kind words and advice... It's nice to know that people took time from their busy schedule to read my long post and to reply... Please pray for me... I work tom... So stressed! Anyone have any advice on sleeping... (I sometimes stay up and have only two to three hours of sleep) I can't go on the night shift... I can't keep calling in for lack of sleep or I'll lose my job... Thanks again...

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Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.

I hope things get better for you. I had a really tough time my first year. Lots of conflicting emotions. I didn't sleep well at all, always worrying, thinking back on everything, wondering if I screwed something up! It did get better, though. I eventually left that job because of stress, and staffing problems. I don't have any advice for you about sleeping, since I never found a solution either. Maybe a sleeping aid from your doctor?

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Specializes in ER.

The first year is bad, I have never been so stressed out in my life. I feel your pain.

One thing I have learned is that I do not have to be mean to be respected, I have to be firm. I mean to not accept crap you do not deserve. It is necessary in order to survive in this profession. Stand up for yourself, it will make you stronger. Great nurses are tough, not mean.

I bet you will become a great nurse, it is better to start out too nice and grow tougher than to start out with some big head attitude and come down hard.

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Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.

I bet you will become a great nurse, it is better to start out too nice and grow tougher than to start out with some big head attitude and come down hard.

How right you are, Brotherbob!!

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I have used over the counter Benadryl 25mg to help me sleep when I am stressed out. Good luck to you. Hope things will get better for you soon :)

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