I am a 21 year old new graduate with about 6 months of experience. I feel like crying... I had a horrible day at work. My day started out ok. Then I was yelled at by a doctor since he wasn't informed of a consult that was placed a few days ago. I wasn't even working then. He yelled at me in front of everyone. Then my charge nurse yelled at me because I was slow to transfer a patient to another facility because I was going downstairs to the pharmacy to pick up a medication. I just wanted to give the medication before the patient left. I was really hurt when she yelled at me because I look up to her, and I consider her as a friend. Then as I was walking away I heard her tell a doctor (who is very nice) that I annoyed her. She may have said more but I was already too far to hear. That doctor has always been nice to me, but now he might think I'm incompentent. Yes, I'm probably being too sensative, and yes, doctor's yell, but why is that our norm? Why is it normal for us to get yelled at? I'm just too hurt. When I was on the elevator on my way to pick up the medication, I just started crying. I was overwhelmed. That day I had two admissions (one direct admit), infusing blood, two discharges, and had to count the narcotics. This is not including the wound cares and medication administrations. I went home late that night. I'm so stressed. I can't sleep at night, and I just cry so much over this job... over this CAREER that I now deeply regret choosing. I went into nursing to care for people, but I feel that nurses lose that care and it just becomes a job. I feel like I'm losing it too. I've never known for people (especially the nurses and doctor's) to be this mean and disrespectful to fellow co workers. There is so little regard for each other... So little respect... I feel that I have to scream and get angry to be heard... for the cna's to ask what I delegate for them to do, or to ask another nurse for help or for their opinion... I just don't want to do that... I don't like being mean... I don't WANT to be mean... I feel that being mean is a necessity for nursing... Sorry for the long post... I just had to vent... Thanks...
I can totally relate to you! I just made 25, and I am just 7 months into med-surg nursing and I have had my share of bad days in the past few months. I can't even count how many times I cried because of work. But I know I've bad more good days than bad days. I love looking back at the past few months and thinking about the patients and families whose lives I really made a difference in. When I think about the bad days I tell myself "that was a really crappy day, we can't go through life without crappy days!" and I think about what I learned from it.
You sound like you have the same kind of personality and demeanor as I do. I sometimes come off as a push-over and a doormat. I don't like to (actually I can't be) be mean. I find that cna's at the hospital I work at often take advantage of me. For example, if my vitals aren't done I'll go and do it rather than ask them to get it done. I've been told by my RN co-workers that I need to toughen up, I can't be so nice. I think with experience and more exposure we'll build that tough skin, yet we'll continue to provide good, safe, compassionate care to our patients....because that is what nursing is about. Good luck to you and please keep us posted.
Oh, about sleep......I have a bad problem with sleep too, especially the night before I work. I go tachy and my mind races while I try to fall asleep. Sound familiar to you? Anyway, I'm not sure if this is a great idea, but the pharmacist at my hospital said it should be no harm. I do three twelves a week, so there are three nights a week I have a problem sleeping. I find that taking two benadryls about half-an-hour before bedtime helps me. Other than the nights before work, I have no problem sleeping.
I think d like you have the same kind of personality and demeanor as I do. I sometimes come off as a push-over and a doormat. I don't like to (actually I can't be) be mean. I find that cna's at the hospital I work at often take advantage of me. For example, if my vitals aren't done I'll go and do it rather than ask them to get it done. I've been told by my RN co-workers that I need to toughen up, I can't be so nice. I think with experience and more exposure we'll build that tough skin, yet we'll continue to provide good, safe, compassionate care to our patients....because that is what nursing is about. Good luck to you and please keep us posted.
Hi LearningRN and Akemi
I am sorry that both of you are being mistreated. Contrary to what the nurses you work with you do not need to toughen up. It is hard to be abused and not feel belittled. It sounds as if the NM encouraged the totally inappropriate tirade of the MD. Instead of making a deragatory remark about you she should have let him know that his behavior would not be tolerated. Bullies are bullies even if they have intials behind their name, if they are called to task they will stop.
The NM sets the tone. If she is disrespectful to you the rest of the staff will do the same. This person is not your friend.
Document the abusive treatment and do not hesitate to write up anyone that is not doing their job. Once they realise that you will take action and stand up to them they will do their job.
I wish you both the best. Take good care of yourselves.
I certainly understand your day and your situation. I am 25 yo and been nursing for about 10 months. I am very disenchanted. Today, I simply acted in my patient's best interest and still got reemed out by another nurse and a surgeon. Why does this have to happen in nursing? I got into this career to HELP others, not get hurt by mean people. Is this just a part of hospital nursing? I'm starting to reconsider a career change or changing to a nursing home with less doctors and burnt out RNs...
(((((((((((((((hugs to all new nurses))))))))))))I am so sorry that you have been subjected to this. I wish I could tell you that these are isolated events, but they are not. For some reason the medical field is full of this. It takes a strong personality to be a nurse. That does not mean you have to be cruel or mean spirited. You have to learn to stand up for yourself, that does not mean stop being nice. I started out trying to please everybody but after going through pretty much the same experience as you, I learned that I was in this field to take care of my PATIENTS. I still believe in teamwork, I respect my coworkers but I refuse to be a doormat. Also I have shopped around and found a job with coworkers who feel the same as I. We look after one another because we want whats best for our patients. I hope that if this is an ongoing situation you review your options. There are alot of places looking for compassionate nurses and will treat them right. Don't give up. It can be better.And again (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
You are a nurse. Not just a nurse...but a nurse capable of doing med surg (the hardest job in nursing). You are a hot little commodity. People all over the world will hire you...fight over you. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LAY AWAKE BECAUSE YOU HATE YOUR JOB!!!! If you are this stressed (where you cannot sleep because of dread) you need to reevaluate your position. Check out the long term care facilities in the area. Check out your local physician's offices. Check out the school. Check out home health. All these places need nurses. All these places will teach you things. I would bet my bottem dollar you have been told that med surg is your ticket to all else. I would also bet that if you asked on any of the other specialty sites if all of those other nurses were med surg first the answers would surprise you. You can be and do what you want. Now go to sleep, if you need to change jobs it isn't the end of the world. Maybe it is just the begining.
Your post took me back years. Please understand, some doctors always blame the nurse, any nurse handy for miscommunications on consults. Was there a consult sheet on the chart? Was it dated,timed, and initialed? If so this doctor was blowing smoke. He overlooked the consult and wanted to blame the first nurse handy. If not, then an incident report should be filed.
This charge nurse is over stressed and over worked, so what else is new. I would have a talk with her, attempt to be professional and to the point, tell her the remark about you annoying her was very hurtful. Ask her what she finds so annoying about you and ask her to please talk with you before talking with other staff and doctors about your performance on the job. I would talk with the HN too. If this CN is talking behind your back, now is the time to know it, not when your evaluation is due.
Remember you are new, learning a new job and learning how to time manage, take care of patients, families, doctors and a hundred other things. DO NOT be too hard on yourself and have too high of expectations of yourself. If you are doing most of your job expectations without direct input from the CN, HN, a preceptor, or another staff nurse, then you are learning and learning well.
I wish you well, please post here often and let us know how you are doing. I know you will be successful in nursing, it just takes time.
nursing IS a hard job. i thought i was the only one who had to take benadryl just to sleep. i try my best to fall asleep on my own, but the tossing and turning, and my tachycardic heart does not make it any easier. so i have to resort to taking 1/2 a benadryl. by the time it kicks in i only get 2 hrs of sleep to work a 14 hr day...wth?!??
Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.
(((((((((((((((hugs to all new nurses))))))))))))I am so sorry that you have been subjected to this. I wish I could tell you that these are isolated events, but they are not. For some reason the medical field is full of this. It takes a strong personality to be a nurse. That does not mean you have to be cruel or mean spirited. You have to learn to stand up for yourself, that does not mean stop being nice. I started out trying to please everybody but after going through pretty much the same experience as you, I learned that I was in this field to take care of my PATIENTS. I still believe in teamwork, I respect my coworkers but I refuse to be a doormat. Also I have shopped around and found a job with coworkers who feel the same as I. We look after one another because we want whats best for our patients. I hope that if this is an ongoing situation you review your options. There are alot of places looking for compassionate nurses and will treat them right. Don't give up. It can be better.And again (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
Been an RN for 20 years. Totally agree with ERNURSE4MS. Hugs to you.
Sending you a massotherapist to massage the pain away. Wish you well.
I have been a fitful sleeper all of my life, and grad school just makes it worse! However, there are a few things that may sound really basic but have helped quite a bit, especially lately. There's a breathing exercise I do - inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 10 (or around that; aim for 4 "cycles" a minute). Do this 40-50 breaths or about 10-12 minutes. Cup your hands so your fingers are pointing skyward, and just focus on your breath while envisioning a white or golden light around you. I swear, a few weeks ago, I snorted at the idea of doing this, but it really promotes a sense of serenity and peace of mind.
Also try some Valerian or Melatonin. They are both herbal supplements widely available, not habit forming and they work - at least for me and their effectiveness in promoting sleep is well known. I especially like the valerian because it helps me stay asleep, instead of waking up three times a night.
Thank you all for the kind words and advice... It's nice to know that people took time from their busy schedule to read my long post and to reply... Please pray for me... I work tom... So stressed! Anyone have any advice on sleeping... (I sometimes stay up and have only two to three hours of sleep) I can't go on the night shift... I can't keep calling in for lack of sleep or I'll lose my job... Thanks again...
Don't think you have to be mean to get along in nursing.
Were you really "yelled at" because yelling by anyone is unprofessional and shouldn't be tolerated. There is probably a chain of command in place for inappropriate behavior from MDs like this. But if it wasn't yelling, then maybe you just need to blow it off.
The charge nurse on the other hand you have to work with day in and day out. She/he needs a talking to face to face from you that you don't appreciate what she said and did. Nip it in the bud. You can still be nice about it, but if you don't address it now it's going to happen again.
I agree.
For 6 years, I worked at a facility in Georgia. MDs yelled, threw things were rude and insulting. Which led to charge nurses that were insulting and inappropriate, managers that were terrible to their staff, and a lot of other dysfunctional behavior. I, meanwhile, nursed an ulcer and started hating nursing. The manager of the unit (detailed on another current thread, "Hospital not a Hotel") claimed that they were MDs, and old and that cannot change, so we "just needed to get along with them". I came very close to quitting nursing.
(what is truly scary is they are attempting magnet status...is the management merely that arrogant)
I have since worked and have sterling references from several hospitals that are listed as tops in "US News And World Report". And you know, that lousy behavior rarily ever happens there. And if it does, the manager reports immediately and expects to hear results. If she expects appropriate and professional staff to work in the hospital, she requires the MDs/lead staff to behave acceptably.
Let me give you a clue. People can change, but sometimes they must be forced to. And it is management's job to provide a safe and nonharassing environment to work in. If this indeed was a inappropriate "yelling" incident, notify your manager. It happens again, you notify her and the Medical Head of Staff. Especially if there is high turnover or shortage of staff. Because is the very behavior that feeds into "nursing eats its young", "nurses are witches", etc.
If your hospital does not respond appropriately, it would probably be best to find a new locale...and let them know why you left.
There is no excuse for this behavior. And when we excuse bad behavior (oh, he had a bad day...she is very stressed...people can't change), we allow it to continue. And that is wrong, unhealthy and destructive to Nursing.
PS. And I was total idiot for putting up with this for 6 plus years.
akemi
13 Posts
Hey LearningRN
I can totally relate to you! I just made 25, and I am just 7 months into med-surg nursing and I have had my share of bad days in the past few months. I can't even count how many times I cried because of work. But I know I've bad more good days than bad days. I love looking back at the past few months and thinking about the patients and families whose lives I really made a difference in. When I think about the bad days I tell myself "that was a really crappy day, we can't go through life without crappy days!" and I think about what I learned from it.
You sound like you have the same kind of personality and demeanor as I do. I sometimes come off as a push-over and a doormat. I don't like to (actually I can't be) be mean. I find that cna's at the hospital I work at often take advantage of me. For example, if my vitals aren't done I'll go and do it rather than ask them to get it done. I've been told by my RN co-workers that I need to toughen up, I can't be so nice. I think with experience and more exposure we'll build that tough skin, yet we'll continue to provide good, safe, compassionate care to our patients....because that is what nursing is about. Good luck to you and please keep us posted.
Oh, about sleep......I have a bad problem with sleep too, especially the night before I work. I go tachy and my mind races while I try to fall asleep. Sound familiar to you? Anyway, I'm not sure if this is a great idea, but the pharmacist at my hospital said it should be no harm. I do three twelves a week, so there are three nights a week I have a problem sleeping. I find that taking two benadryls about half-an-hour before bedtime helps me. Other than the nights before work, I have no problem sleeping.