Over the last couple of years I have donated to 2 crowd-funding appeals. Both were folks that I (somewhat) knew and both were for dire, life-altering reasons.
Lately, these types of "give me $$" appeals seem to be multiplying like crazy. Folks are asking for money for any and everything. I saw one on Facebook recently that was asking strangers to pay her entire way through nursing school
I don't know why this bothers me. Maybe it's the unspoken assumption that if I've worked my way into a position in life where I might have a few bucks to spare, I'd be happy to part with that money to help someone else not have to work as hard as I did. Obviously, I don't have to pay any attention to the appeals if I don't want to. It just seems so......nervy, I guess. As in, it takes a lot of.
You know, no one is forced to donate to these campaigns, and everyone is free to ignore them. The way I see it, you can ask, and if people who have the money want to give it, then great. Everyone's happy.
I've considered starting one because, while my employer will help me with tuition cost, going to school will present some child care challenges for me. If I started a GoFundMe to ask for help with that, and people who have extra money decide they'd like to give it to me, how does that affect you? What gives you the right to complain about my private transactions with people who aren't you? Again, no force and no wallet raids, so what's the problem?
"The feeling that I get from this thread is the judgment that talking about money is bad and asking for it puts you on the "worst people in the world" list.
You'd think the people asking for money were kicking old ladies or something, judging by the level of censure."
Please re-read my original post. You will see that I acknowledged that I am free to not read pleas for my dollars. However, the point of this post was to discuss. We all are allowed to have our opinions and I would say to those who find condemnation here: Don't read anymore. Just walk away from your computer.
Some folks like to discuss issues - others only want to read what they want to read.
It's like this. Many of us are from a background (culture, age, spirituality, upbringing) that it is inappropriate to advertise, badger, cajole, guilt others into financing their life decisions, especially those that are only peripherally involved. It is like lending (or not lending) money to a friend. There are invariably issues and hurt feelings that crop up.
But in these days, when some are determined to suck every present they can out of others, crowd funding is not something. Traditions like baby showers for the first child only for a family and buying supplies that be used in other pregnancies are replaced by "sprinkle showers" for every child, and the truly annoying "gender reveal" parties. You want to announce the gender, call me or send a text, I will be just as thrilled. These days, parents compete for how to throw the best and most expensive party for children that are too young to remember them, and get snitty about the "level" of present. What happened to actually caring about the event, pajama parties, and sherbet with ginger ale punch, and any gift was appreciated.
I worked full time through nursing school and raised my sister, child. And I did pay tuition often with my credit card, and I paid it off slowly. And I counted myself lucky. I have also paid for my trips and my life, my family and friends were not asked to pay for those things.
(Sorry regarding the vent. I pay many of my mothers bills including her very expensive FL house insurance. A friend that spent much of her life, buying the best of everything, has thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of real jewelry, collectible precious moments, and latest electronic products. Her mother's house burned down recently - no one was hurt, but no house insurance. Many of us were "invited" to donate to them, preferable to the tune of 100s to 1000s of dollars. I declined, whereupon, said friend confronted me, explaining how poor she is. When I (no real jewelry, few very dated electronics, no house as I rent) explained that I did not have that kind of money, and perhaps she could some of her many pieces of jewelry or collectibles, she went off on me.
My property manager started eviction proceedings against me last month, my car has been in the repossession department since August, one of my creditor's lawsuits has a court date in a couple of weeks, and my unemployment runs out around Christmas-time. Do you really think anybody is going to help me over this? Not likely. I would not even have the cajones to beg for help. If I get evicted, too bad. When the car disappears, great, then I can stop looking for work. And another judgement? Big deal. The unemployment will end before it adjudicates, so there will be no money to garnish. I have reached the point of not giving a rat's behind any longer. But I have not reached the point where begging strangers for help is on my horizon. But that does not mean that if I had the means, I might not be moved to help another in similar circumstances. Because I know what it is like to not have the necessities of life. I begrudge no one.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
My issue is not so much those who choose to crowdsource to fund their debt and expenses but those who embellish or outright lie. Like those who claim making a donation to Gofundme to fund a students tuition & fees claim any donation is tax deductible. Don't lie. You will get caught. Especially if it's an illegal statement (such as claiming something is charitable or a tax deductible donation).
If your request is fulfilled over a certain dollar amount (whether individual "gift" or total sum) be prepared for these companies to report the value to the IRS once they take their 7%+ fees. Be prepared to receive a bill from the IRS as their are $$ limits on what can legally be considered a personal gift no matter what the recipient intends to spend it on.
Do I think some of these gofundme requests are unethical and downright ridiculous? Absolutely. Just browse the site and see...I haven't paid my bills in 5 years, but did buy a brand new car and electronics with my disability check. Disability stopped paying when I was caught dancing on a bar on a FB post when I claimed I couldn't walk 3 feet without pain. Help me before my house is foreclosed on and my gas. & electric shut off because I mismanage money and the utilities won't fall for my sob story any longer.... (Sadly this is not an embellishment).
If you want to crowdsource your tuition or expenses rather than take out loans or government assistance and can find people to donate then good for you!!
I won't donate to those who don't make an effort to self-support. For every few outlandish requests, there are a few "reasonable" requests I've seen. Your choice to beg, my choice to decline and move on.
You know, no one is forced to donate to these campaigns, and everyone is free to ignore them. The way I see it, you can ask, and if people who have the money want to give it, then great. Everyone's happy.
I've considered starting one because, while my employer will help me with tuition cost, going to school will present some child care challenges for me. If I started a GoFundMe to ask for help with that, and people who have extra money decide they'd like to give it to me, how does that affect you? What gives you the right to complain about my private transactions with people who aren't you? Again, no force and no wallet raids, so what's the problem?
If you put it in the Internet it's not a private transaction but a public one, therefore open to scrutiny. At my old job there was a coworker who put a sign up in the break room saying she wasn't asking for hand outs but needed money for EMT school. Well that's the definition of handout. When you go public with requests you will be scrutinized.
My personal view on crowd funding is suspicious in general. It is too easy for people to lie on the Internet about their cause. I also find some of the causes to be tacky or just plain ridiculous. Because of this, I usually ignore these kinds of advertisements/posts.
The Internet is full of idiots. There are greedy/manipulative people, naive/gullible people, all kinds of people. If a sucker wants to donate money to what I consider to be an unworthy person/cause, then it's their choice to do it. I will choose not to.
Now that I have read through this thread, it's clear to me that I have missed out on a huge pop culture phenom, "crowd funding". How did I miss this? Well....probably because I just "don't go there", so to say.
I first read of this kind of thing when Jahi McMath's family got good'n'greedy and someone posted a link to their GoFundMe account. Ok, so then I knew what it was.
My take on it is the person who puts up these kinds of accounts, begging for money from strangers, is the online equivalent to a panhandler. Or street begger. Only instead of them having to stand on the street corners with a can and a story, they are free to do whatever they like as long as their account stays live on the 'net. Definitely saves on shoe leather, right?
I've become very jaded over the years where donations are concerned. Have not only seen much suspicious activity myself, but have read about outright frauds and have learned to shy away from the Sob Story. Typically, it's a load of BS designed to separate people from their money.
Was it Ben Franklin who said 'A Fool and his money are soon parted'? Not sure of the origin, but the sentiment is surely true!
People who are foolish will part with their money in sometimes spectacular ways; the internet version nowadays is only the latest incarnation. We educate our kids about scam artists, PSAs frequently warn the elderly about a current fraud to cheat them. And we'd like to think our coworkers savvy enough to not be giving to people who simply do not deserve it.
Stupidity isn't something we can usually control in people, so we have to let them just.....be stupid.That is, until they become broke and then require a GoFundMe account to replace their lost purse. I can just see it now: "PLEASE contribute to my cause! My cause is that I stupidly gave away what I thought was extra income but it turns out I gave away so much that now I need YOU, Dear Stranger, to start giving ME money....because I made poor choices on the internet!"
"The feeling that I get from this thread is the judgment that talking about money is bad and asking for it puts you on the "worst people in the world" list.
You'd think the people asking for money were kicking old ladies or something, judging by the level of censure."
Please re-read my original post. You will see that I acknowledged that I am free to not read pleas for my dollars. However, the point of this post was to discuss. We all are allowed to have our opinions and I would say to those who find condemnation here: Don't read anymore. Just walk away from your computer.
Some folks like to discuss issues - others only want to read what they want to read.
I'm not sure why you aimed this at me. I was summarizing the tone of the thread. I read through from the beginning, a couple of times, to make sure I wasn't missing something. The thread started out as a discussion on crowdfunding, but has become more about bashing the people who dare use it and their poor ethics.
I think there is something to this. Remember back as recently as the 1980s? Nursing didn't cost an arm and a leg. Hospitals did the training, nurses dorms were the norm
This is how my mom and my Aunt received their education and became RNs. This style of training is an excellent way to get the hands on skills that are so needed to be a confident and independent Nurse right out of school.
roser13, ASN, RN
6,504 Posts
"The feeling that I get from this thread is the judgment that talking about money is bad and asking for it puts you on the "worst people in the world" list.
You'd think the people asking for money were kicking old ladies or something, judging by the level of censure."
Please re-read my original post. You will see that I acknowledged that I am free to not read pleas for my dollars. However, the point of this post was to discuss. We all are allowed to have our opinions and I would say to those who find condemnation here: Don't read anymore. Just walk away from your computer.
Some folks like to discuss issues - others only want to read what they want to read.