So I thought that my workplace was fairly immune to this kind of behavior. There's a wide variety of religions and cultures in our staff and in our patients. I had just started feeling comfortable with my coworkers.
Yesterday my coworker tried converting me to Christianity while on lunch break. It was completely unexpected and horribly awkward, all mixed in with terribly insulting. She started innocently enough by asking me what religion I was. From there it went into why I'm not Christian, why don't I believe in Satan, how the Bible is real, how Jesus will save non believers only if they ask. Then she asked me to promise her that I'd re-read the Bible and ask her about any parts I don't understand.
I'm angry. Embarrassed. I don't want to "rock the boat" at my unit. She's been there longer than I have. At the same time, I'm worried she's doing the same to other employees or even patients.
I'm just curious - what would you do if you were in my situation? I'm still trying to weigh my options before I act.
Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.
I think I might say to her that I appreciated her concern but that I would appreciate it if she not brought that up again. I've had people try to offer me religion. Not in the aggressive way you mention, but one of my coworkers, who is a really nice an caring person, try to offer me to attend church with her. I was not offended because she was actually trying to do something nice for me in her mind, so I was not rejecting. I just explained that I had my own beliefs and that I did not want to go to church, but that I'd love to hang out in another context. I thanked her for inviting me. She never brought it up again and we always had a very good work relationship. It is possible to set boundaries in a very nice way. Which is the way I would do it if I were new to a facility and unit.
If the topic were anything other than religion, would you be so sensitive about telling her to shut up and sit down? No? Then tell her to shut up and sit down and stop being sensitive about it.
I say this as a bought by the blood of Jesus, born-again Christian. She has no right to make you feel uncomfortable, but she has no way of knowing that you do not want the conversation until you tell her so. Religious speech is not automatically harassing. I swear, our culture just gets weirder and weirder about religion.
Yes, I'd be honest with her and just tell her that you feel this conversation isn't appropriate for the work place and you don't want to discuss religion anymore. Then smile, and walk away. :)
Shut it down!!!! I was working one day and had a book about Buddhism and she attempted to start hashing up Christianity and I simply told her, "Stay in your lane!" I walked away she never brought it up again.
nicely but firmly tell her you are not interested in becoming her religion at this time, but you will let her know if anything changes. Let her know you appreciate her concern for your welfare but that you do not care to talk about this topic. Do you mind if she prays for you? If not, tell her so.
Just because she bases all of her life choices on a piece of fiction doesn't mean you have to... hate people jamming their religious beliefs down others' throats
I dont mind discussions about religion. It can be very interesting to me, when both sides are playing nice. That being said, do not try to convert me, it falls on deaf ears.
If it comes up again, say "I've decided I really don't feel comfortable discussing religion at work. Now you have two little boys, right?" and so forth.
I used to feel quite 'harassed' when someone came at me like that. Actually, I felt insulted and afraid, I mean, this person wasn't threatening me or calling me names, and I believe being polite is the best idea until it's not. That's when interpersonal boundaries are appropriate and useful to place. "I've decided I don't feel comfortable . . ." is an example of a boundary.
Usually folks get the point straight away from there. You aren't hurting her feelings, she believes she must do this, as irritating as it is to you, her intention is 'good'.
I agree with those who have said this is not a 'go to the manager' or HR thing. I'd also say not to worry about what she's saying to patients. Believe me, when you bring their water pitcher in 3 seconds later than you promised, they'll complain. Unwanted 'conversion' foisted upon you while your leg is in traction and you can't push your PCA button for seven more minutes isn't going to go over well. The patient will either tell her off or complain to another nurse. Even patients aren't total victims, so you can relax there. Besides, I suspect she already HAS been talked to about it, seeing how bold she was with you.
That would be insulting/awkward. Shut religious convo down early --- "I don't talk about religion or politiccs at work" I added the politics in because it is part of the well-known rule of discussion topics that are unfit for the workplace. Both subjects can make people who would otherwise get along feel at odds with each other.
Specializes in UR/PA, Hematology/Oncology, Med Surg, Psych.
I love myself a good political debate, but you're right, not appropriate at work. My group of friends range from Tea-Party Republicans to the most liberal of Democrats; throwing in a smattering of Socialists. We enjoy discussing issues and still love each other tons :)
OP, unless you specifically told her that religious issues are personal to you and not a topic for conversation on break then you need to relax. (And don't quibble that she should of read your body language, etc, some people don't catch on to that quickly.) If she approaches you again about religion tell her that you believe that religious views are very personal and you wouldn't like to discuss them at work (I really doubt she'd dislike you for being upfront and if she did, so what?) Do it nicely with a smile; and I bet no further problems will occur. IF she continues after that, then you've got something you will need to pursue further if you choose.
JMO, I don't get offended very easily about religion/politics and will discuss just about anything with people that are open to a respectful discussion.
While I agree this is not appropriate for work, or anywhere really if the person doesn't want to have the conversation, I'm surprised at how offended some of you get over this. I'm not religious, but I get into conversations regularly with people about it. I realize most people probably don't enjoy it as much as I do, but why is it offensive? Just laugh it off. If she starts witnessing to you again, or anyone else, just chuckle and say "I went down that road a long time ago and I'm happier with myself now that I ever was then" or whatever the case may be. If you don't want to talk about it at all just tell them very directly that you don't want to have the conversation.
Now, if it's a repeated thing and every time you're alone with this person they're aggressively trying to convert you, then it's a different situation. Then I would tell them firmly I don't want to discuss it anymore and I will report them if they insist on continuing, but don't just turn someone into management without at least fair warning.
Really though, as long as they're not trying to harm you, religion is kind of funny (no offense, I just see it that way). Just laugh it off and tell them a story about Jack and beanstalk.
I was recently in almost this exact situation at work. I told my coworker that I wasn't confused or searching, that I've had my beliefs for a really long time, I was happy with them and that I didn't see them changing.
When this coworker encouraged me to read the Bible, I told her that I was about as likely to become a Christian after reading the Bible as she was to become a Muslim after reading the Quran.
It hasn't come up again, and it's not awkward at work...for me at least!
amzyRN
1,142 Posts
I think I might say to her that I appreciated her concern but that I would appreciate it if she not brought that up again. I've had people try to offer me religion. Not in the aggressive way you mention, but one of my coworkers, who is a really nice an caring person, try to offer me to attend church with her. I was not offended because she was actually trying to do something nice for me in her mind, so I was not rejecting. I just explained that I had my own beliefs and that I did not want to go to church, but that I'd love to hang out in another context. I thanked her for inviting me. She never brought it up again and we always had a very good work relationship. It is possible to set boundaries in a very nice way. Which is the way I would do it if I were new to a facility and unit.