Coworker conflict

[Lena23]

Hello all, I'm hoping you could help give me some advice about what to do in a tough situation at work. I am the only student nurse working on my unit. I want to stay at this job; it is interesting work and I feel that I am learning and getting better at it all the time. There are some days I love it, and some days that I leave feeling totally defeated. The difference between these days is the people I work with. This unit has pretty high staff turnover, so about half the staff are pretty new (

When I need help with something I often get irritated responses or ignored. And some people are downright rude to me. If I say things like "good morning" or "thank you" they literally just ignore me. One person has taken to making tsk-ing noises and walking away whenever I approach where she is at the nurses station. I can handle patients being rude, but coworkers treating me like this really wears me down by the end of the day. I've also overheard them on numerous occasions complaining about how the newer people are too slow. We may be slower, but isn't that to be expected for someone who has been doing the job for months rather than years? We still get all our work done, so why do they care? And I know that a lot of the reason the older people get things done more quickly is by cutting corners. As newer employees I think it makes sense for us to try to follow what we have been taught are the correct procedures.

I feel I do the best job that I can, and I am happy help my coworkers. I'm pretty quiet and I keep to myself a lot, but I still try to be nice and polite to everyone. I don't know what I've done to cause people to treat me this way. I haven't noticed this kind of rudeness happening as much to the newer nurses either. I know I'm at the bottom of the totem pole, being a tech and new. I don't want to impose on anybody, but I am still new, and still only a tech. Sometimes I need help, and sometimes I need to tell a nurse about a change in patient condition or a request for medication; if I don't ask for help the patient won't get the care they need. Even the people who have been around longer need help sometimes, but it doesn't get held against them.

I've been considering talking to my manager about this, because if things continue this way I think it will make me miserable. But I'm not sure if that is a good idea, since I don't know what she could do about it. I just think it would make me feel better if she was aware, and maybe she could help think of a solution that I can't.

I don't know if I did a very good job of describing my situation, and that's another issue with talking to my manager about it, I feel like a lot of it is subtle undermining and rudeness that might not sound like much. But it is really bothering me to feel so rejected by so many of my coworkers, and not knowing what I've done wrong or what I can do about it

[kakamegamama]

So sorry you are having these struggles. One thing I've learned (I've been a nurse since 1975) is that sometimes, people are just rude...and that's THEIR issue, not mine. It's hard to work with that type of person and it sounds like it's a real struggle for you. Do your best. Don't let them get to you--it may be their way of testing your mettle. Can you talk to them face to face and address the issues when they come up rather than stew about it? But, if you do, do it calmly and not with an outburst. Hang in there .

[Lena23]

Thank you for responding! I have tried to speak with the worst offender, asking if I had done something wrong, but she denied that there was any problem and has continued to treat me like the bane of her existence. As for the others, I have thought about trying to speak with them, but whenever I have thought I could muster up the courage, the day is so busy I don't get a chance. And by the end of the day, I'm so worn out I might just cry if I talked to them. I wish I could respond coolly when people are rude to me, but I automatically get flustered and just want to walk away. Maybe I'll get better about not letting it get to me with more time and experience with mean people??

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Ask someone to mentor you. It will blow up their ego and get them invested in your success.

[heron, ASN, RN]

Go ahead and walk away. It's probably the healthiest thing you can do. The cliche is you can't change another's behavior, just how you react to it. Don't let the crazies dictate how you do or feel about your job.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

It sucks to feel like an outsider at a new job, but keep in mind why you're there. Do your job. Go home. Count your money. Don't "beg" anyone to like you or explain why they're unpleasant. They'll either come around, or they won't.

Since you don't have strong, concrete examples of what these co-workers are doing, you will probably look like a big cry-baby if you go complain to management. I'm not saying you are one, but that's how it will look. I think it's more likely to make your situation worse than it is to make it better.

Good luck and I hope things get better for you.

[ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN]

It sounds to me like a rough place to work. No one is going to coddle you because you're in school nor should they. They will respect you if you have skills and a good work ethic.

It also sounds like to me that you need to stop taking everything so personally. You should team up with another NA and learn how to be more efficient. It's corny but true - everything is easier when people work together.

If you hear a snide remark about new people being slow just say loudly "I heard that" laugh and keep on truckin.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

If you have EVER let it slip about cutting corners/doing things the "right" way, there in likely lies your problem.

[Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP]

A wise person once said: "you can't change the problem...you can only change your attitude about the problem". Become an island and don't let anyone see a chink in your armor. Smile, do you job and realize that you don't make any friends at work. You're there for the paycheck and the work.

[ESpeed15]

There could be many reasons that these nurses are acting like this and none of them could have anything to do with you. Some nurses can get guarded over the years; they might not be completely happy with where they are professionally; or possibly because there is such a high turnover rate, they might either think to not try hard to get to know you because you might not be there long, or there is such a difference in either age, values, or beliefs that they don't really know how to overcome the gap.

My best advice is to first work on yourself. As long as you are doing your job competently and getting your duties done efficiently, then you are doing your best. Something that happened to me in nursing school is that I have become so much more confident in myself, not just knowledge and skills, but my self-esteem has come a very long way! Be confident in yourself and not let a comment make you second guess yourself.

Go the extra mile with the other nurses. Ask them if they need you to do anything when you work, ask them about a concept that you don't quite understand, or ask for any constructive criticism they might have to offer. You learn a lot in nursing school, but nothing can even compare to the knowledge and experiences of more seasoned nurses. If there is a certain nurse that seems to have a problem with you, ask if there is anything you have done wrong, or could do to make the work relationship better.

And like another commenter stated, ask one to mentor you. You will gain a lot of knowledge and skill and it can be real helpful when you decide to apply to a position. If you want to stay on this unit, then you have to show them that you want to commit to it and are not just there until something better comes along. Trying to be an active team member says more about you and your work ethic than just continuing on the path you are in.

I know how draining it can be to work with people who seem to have something negative to point out about you every time you turn around. Just give it your best and if nothing changes, at least you come away with the knowledge of how you don't want to be. Good luck, and I hope your situation improves!

[Natasha, RN, BSN]

Oh my gosh.... Reading this is almost exactly like what I went through when I was a new nurse on the unit. And the only one among very experienced nurses. My heart goes out to you! I, too, went through everything you described, and while it's not ok, at least you're not alone in how you get treated by the seasoned people. In my case, going to the NM did not help, as she hadn't done bedside nursing herself for so long that she couldn't understand that things weren't 'second nature' yet and tasks/thought processes just took more time. I know it's hard now, but just get through one shift at a time. Eventually, things get better as more experience gets under your belt. And by the way, those same nurses that treated me like that no longer did after my first year, and actually help me instead of ignore me (granted the help I need is less now that I am experienced, but hey, we ALL need some help now and then no matter how many years). Not sure if it's just a way for the experienced ones to initiate new people to the profession or what, but I swear the attitude and behavior changed once I no longer was the 'new kid on the block'.

Remembering this experience, I try to make the newbies feel as welcome as possible and go out of my way to extend help to them, should they need it. For me, I had found that it did me no good to complain about my mistreatment (to the NM) and that if I want to SEE change, I must BE the change and set the example. I am sure that once you get over this hurdle, you will be that same person to help the newbies feel a part of the team.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

So ..., it was like this when I started my job. My best advice is keep doing your best. I chose to ignore it after about 3 years they stopped considering me a newbie. I also have worked hard to change the culture and I don't think new people have it as rough.

You can't change their behavior but be a part of the change of culture . I never advocate talking to mgt... They have little to do or control over that behavior.