Coworker conflict

[Lena23]

Hello all, I'm hoping you could help give me some advice about what to do in a tough situation at work. I am the only student nurse working on my unit. I want to stay at this job; it is interesting work and I feel that I am learning and getting better at it all the time. There are some days I love it, and some days that I leave feeling totally defeated. The difference between these days is the people I work with. This unit has pretty high staff turnover, so about half the staff are pretty new (

When I need help with something I often get irritated responses or ignored. And some people are downright rude to me. If I say things like "good morning" or "thank you" they literally just ignore me. One person has taken to making tsk-ing noises and walking away whenever I approach where she is at the nurses station. I can handle patients being rude, but coworkers treating me like this really wears me down by the end of the day. I've also overheard them on numerous occasions complaining about how the newer people are too slow. We may be slower, but isn't that to be expected for someone who has been doing the job for months rather than years? We still get all our work done, so why do they care? And I know that a lot of the reason the older people get things done more quickly is by cutting corners. As newer employees I think it makes sense for us to try to follow what we have been taught are the correct procedures.

I feel I do the best job that I can, and I am happy help my coworkers. I'm pretty quiet and I keep to myself a lot, but I still try to be nice and polite to everyone. I don't know what I've done to cause people to treat me this way. I haven't noticed this kind of rudeness happening as much to the newer nurses either. I know I'm at the bottom of the totem pole, being a tech and new. I don't want to impose on anybody, but I am still new, and still only a tech. Sometimes I need help, and sometimes I need to tell a nurse about a change in patient condition or a request for medication; if I don't ask for help the patient won't get the care they need. Even the people who have been around longer need help sometimes, but it doesn't get held against them.

I've been considering talking to my manager about this, because if things continue this way I think it will make me miserable. But I'm not sure if that is a good idea, since I don't know what she could do about it. I just think it would make me feel better if she was aware, and maybe she could help think of a solution that I can't.

I don't know if I did a very good job of describing my situation, and that's another issue with talking to my manager about it, I feel like a lot of it is subtle undermining and rudeness that might not sound like much. But it is really bothering me to feel so rejected by so many of my coworkers, and not knowing what I've done wrong or what I can do about it

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

It can be hard to mesh with an established group. They might be cold or even rude to "outsiders" for any number of reasons. It could be as simple as not wanting to invest time and effort into establishing a relationship that in their experience probably won't go anywhere if turnover is such a big problem.

Myself I've never understood that. It seems like a self fulfilling prophecy to be mean to the new person because they probably won't stay anyway thereby almost guaranteeing that they won't stay because staff has been mean to them. Makes no sense, but it happens.

As long as you have a good relationship started with some of the staff, eventually the "older" staff will probably come around. Continue to be polite and do your work well and they will start to see that you are a good addition to the team. Until that happens try not to let it bother you too much.

[Lena23]

Thank you so much for the responses! I really appreciate the advice and support, and knowing that it's not just me. I'll try to remember why I'm there and keep my focus on doing a good job and remaining professional. It just sucks because I know I would enjoy my job so much more if these coworkers weren't so unpleasant to me. I've never criticized anybody for the way they work or told them they are cutting corners, but I have said something like "oh, that's what the policy says to do," when questioned about why I am doing something a certain way. Could that do it? Also, I would love to have a mentor, but I'm not exactly clear on what that relationship entails... Am I just asking if that person is okay with me coming to them for guidance/advice? Would it be asking them to help me out/teach me things during work hours? How does a mentor/mentee relationship work?

And, for the worst one, who won't even speak to me unless it's to say something negative, do I continue to act polite and like we have a normal working relationship, (like saying "good morning" even though she never responds), or should I just pretend she doesn't exist too?

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

And, for the worst one, who won't even speak to me unless its to say something negative, do I continue to act polite and like we have a normal working relationship, (like saying "good morning" even though she never responds), or should I just pretend she doesn't exist too?

Yes. Make sure you keep a neutral expression and just walk right by. You're giving her too much power by acknowledging her with pleasantries when she refuses to do the same.

[kakamegamama]

Sounds like you have decided to head in a good direction. As to the one who won't even acknowledge you, if you want to continue greeting her, do so. If you feel comfortable not doing so, don't. Another poster said that greeting her is giving her power. I respectfully disagree. You actually have the power in this situation in that you have not allowed yourself to become like her. And, who knows.....at some point she may decide that you're alright. Try not to ruminate over this, but just carry on, doing the best you can. Yes, a friendly environment can make for a more positive and "fun" work experience, but at the end of the day, don't let them ruin what you value---THAT is what would give them power over you.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

Sounds like you have decided to head in a good direction. As to the one who won't even acknowledge you, if you want to continue greeting her, do so. If you feel comfortable not doing so, don't. Another poster said that greeting her is giving her power. I respectfully disagree. You actually have the power in this situation in that you have not allowed yourself to become like her. And, who knows.....at some point she may decide that you're alright. Try not to ruminate over this, but just carry on, doing the best you can. Yes, a friendly environment can make for a more positive and "fun" work experience, but at the end of the day, don't let them ruin what you value---THAT is what would give them power over you.

agree with this. Continue to say "good morning" and move on. If she chooses not to respond in kind that's on her. Who knows, maybe one morning she'll say it back and if not at least you've started the day with a friendly greeting.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Dear OP Newbie - ooh, Girl, I have worked with some miserable people in my day. They were such contempt-filled, personally unfulfilled, wretched, lonely, angry, sour, bitter, spiteful people it has ever been my displeasure to meet. This was when I was a new grad many decades ago and I still remember how horrible I felt having to deal with them. I thought maybe it as my fault, but came to realize they were just unhappy people and they brought it to work with them and took it out on coworkers, however unintentionally. I wound up feeling sorry for them but still truly hated working with them. Wish I could see them now and see if life has improved for them.

Stop greeting the one who doesn't acknowledge your greetings. Let her be as miserable as she wishes, as jealous of you as she wishes.

She is jealous, envious of your fresh, youthful energy and attitude, of your love for the work, of your zest. Do pray for her, but steer clear of her miserable self. You don't need her to rain on your parade. Ignore her as she ignores you. She might come around once you do to her what she does to you.

Just keep on stepping. Keep on stepping.

[SororAKS, ADN, RN]

Lots of good suggestions here.

I've been there, and realize how hard it is to be the new one. I'd say just continue to be professional in your demeanor, follow procedures, give outstanding patient care, and see what happens. Yes you'd like to fit in. Sometimes that's not a good idea, you don't want to adopt their crappy attitudes...which may well have nothing to do with you.

If you love what you do, do it! Don't let their lack of professionalism dim your light. Stand tall. If things don't improve, leave.

[SororAKS, ADN, RN]

I respectfully disagree with the mentoring thing in this context. If a nurse or anyone cannot treat me well when I am new to a profession or unit, I cannot see how they would make a good mentor. A mentor, to me, is someone that treats everyone, regardless of status, as an important part of the team; acts like a leader and doesn't use passive aggressive childish behavior like the ones in this example have.

The OP deserves better than that.