Confused between school and preganacy

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing


Well I am currently in nursing school, I have 2 semester more until graduation and I recently found out I was pregnant, which means I will either have to stop school and have the baby or do an abortion... I dont know what to do..

please help.

What I can say is.. you can come back to school later. Lots of people take the semester off. Realistically, it may not work out that way. Do you have childcare? Can you afford a baby? On the flip side- only you can answer if you want to be a Mother now and if you want to make the sacrifices that go along with it. I wish you all the best in your decisions.

Nursing school and keeping the baby will be hard but if you really wanted to, you could make it work. Being a mom is the hardest job I ever had especially while attending school but I never regretted it. Talk to your director, counselors, doctor, clergy, and parents. Your parents may surprise you and show you support. You also have your friends. How is the father feeling about this? There is also state resources that you could use as well. Let's not forget about adoption as well because that is a win win for all parties invoked. Good luck I hope you make the right choice.

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.
"It can also be said that some regret their decision on either side." I have NEVER met a mother that looked at their child and said, "I wish I would have had an abortion." But I've seen many who chose abortion weep over children they will never raise. Food for thought.

And I've met many that deeply regret not waiting to have kids until they were ready and settled. And I know people that thought that the abortion was the better of the options available to them.

No ONE wants or desires abortion. No ONE is standing in line to get knocked up so that they can deliberately have an abortion. And only a few (often that have quite dysfunctional children) will ever be so cruel as to look at their children, and verbalize to them, "I wish I had aborted you". Most that would speak that way, hopefully opt for adoption.

But in personal conversation, with those that will accept them and not denigrate them for admitting their fears, and their honest feelings, do admit that sometimes they wish that they had never had their child. I have heard such things from women who trusted me implicitly.

I suspect that many do not admit such things to those that they suspect/know are antiabortion, because they fear how they will villified for expressing those feelings, and that they will lose support.

The OP is trying to make a difficult decision about her options. Abortion is indeed a legal option, and may or may not be acceptable in her culture/belief system/religion ( some religions do consider it acceptable in some situations). She does not need an extra guilt trip.

I just want to say that going to school and being pregnant/having a newborn is def. do able! I am not the brightest student out there but I am passionate about nursing and with the support & encouragement I am 1 semester away from if you put your heart and mind into it, it is possible! And to the commenter who said that babies love being "financially stable" well if you have any children you'll understand that your child doesn't care what car you drive, what type of house you have or how much your paycheck is... A child needs LOVE and LOVE and MORE LOVE ... there is always help out there you just have to look for it when in need. And yes it is going to be hard... not easy at all but it's life.But it's a hard topic when one of your choices is abortion, but there is other options like open/closed adoptions...but it is one of your options from all three of them.I would suggest talking to someone like a close fam. member, church, counselors from the nursing program... your not the first so they might be able to have you meet up with other nursing or non-nursing students that have been in your position...I know I made great friends and you can support each other.

Specializes in Trauma ICU, Peds ICU.

If you want to get an abortion, get an abortion. If you want to have the baby, have it. There's no easy answer, take your time and decide which one is right for you, absent any outside influences.

Specializes in Emergency Room.

To the OP, many of the people that posted before me have much more life experience with this matter than I but I wanted to put in my two cents. The decision is ultimately yours but you should take your time and not rush things. I am pro-choice in the aspect that what someone else does with their body is their own business but I wouldn't recommend an abortion the majority of the time due to the risks associated with the procedure. If you're having sex, even if it's protected, you should realize that there is always a chance that you can get pregnant. As timmedico (who I completely agree with BTW) said, we don't know the full story, however, I believe that one must take responsibility for their own actions, that includes both you and dad. If I were to get a girl pregnant and we weren't married, I would do everything I could to support that child and would never recommend that she get an abortion. Like I said, the decision is ultimately yours but make sure you are well aware of the consequences of each option you have, I wish you the best of luck.

Specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.
"It can also be said that some regret their decision on either side." I have NEVER met a mother that looked at their child and said, "I wish I would have had an abortion."

Oh, well I have.

And to the OP, is there a reason that adoption is not up for consideration here?

I am really sorry you are going through this tough time. All I can say is that you need to think about what you really want, after all it is your body. Everyone elses opinion doesn't matter. It's good that you created this thread because others can share what they have went through and it will help give you things to think about. A few things you might want to consider is that if you do decide to have the baby and you stay in school up until the baby is born or if you choose adoption... what happens if you have a complicated pregnancy or you go into preterm labor? I'm not trying to scare you but not everyone has a 40wk pregnancy or a pregnancy with out issues. Are you going to have any other support? Who is going to watch the baby? Do you have the financial support? If you decide to not have the baby.... Is this something you are going to feel guilty for? Regret can last forever! I think the best advice you can follow is talk is what others have mentioned talk to your boyfriend, talk to your school, and talk to your parents. It might help you make your decision easier.

Having a child at a young age myself, I have to reply to this thread. Sorry if it becomes a novel! Also, I did not read all 30+ treads; so I am sorry if I M repeating anything.

First, only you can decide what is right for you.

Second, have you thought adoption through? I know there are A TON of families that cannot have children and would like one terribly. I had a friend who was about your age and gave her baby up for adopt. She says it is the best thing she has ever done.

Third, my story....

I got pregnant senior year of high school and graduated when I was four months pregnant. At first, everything was going alright. I lived with my boyfriend's family and his mother hated me. But, I was okay with the situation at the time. Then, when our daughter was about 4 months old, he broke up with me. Then his mom and dad decided to get divorced... All in the same week. Suddenly, I was at fault for all of their problems. With no family of my own to help me, I got an apt. Worked full time, went to school full time, was a mom full time.... I was 19.

Now I am 24 and married... To her dad! We worked things out after we grew up a little. We also hve a little boy. My husband joined the army so we could have financial security and I go to school full time. (nursing this time)

With that being said, I would not do anything differently. It was definitely a challenge; but, that little girl saved my life. Getting pregnant, for me, was a blessing in disguise.

Lastly, only you can know what is best for you and what you can live with. I was abandoned by my parents when I was a baby and let with a caregiver that, basically, kept me alive and that was it. I could not live with myself if I got an abortion... But that is me. If a 16 year old got pregnant, I would definitely say abortion might be a better option. However, you are 20. You are a lot more mature. If you know you cannot give a child a good home, look into adoption. There are agencies that you can go through and the families will pay for everything your insurance does not cover. They sometimes even give you a monthly allowance for food and what not

Good luck to you!!

I'm not sure where you are spirutually but it seems your family believes in husband then a baby. So my question is have you asked GOD? I don't have time to stay on this topic long because I'm going to church in a few but I think people make children out of what they want. I know your thinking about yourself but sometimes getting involved in certain things bring on consequences. Why did you choose to have sex while in college. Even though I'm married and have a loving family I always have in the back of mind that anytime I have sex I could get pregnant so don't ever think your not putting yourself at risk each time. I think you should forget about what anyone of us say and just go to god because we all make mistakes and have to still go to him at the end of the day. I'm sorry if I came out to harsh but god paid for our sins so who else do we have if he did all the work for us to have life. Sorry for typo's and run on sentence. Good luck

One of the hardest lessons I've learned is though family is one of the most important factors in most peoples lives, ultimately you are you and live YOUR life. Family will not always support you but what's right is right. God is too good to create a person for waste but to instead to bless you. Just today this little girl came running up to me hugging me like she knew me. These little people are such rays of sunshine and There are people dying to have some. If anything consider adoption.

Specializes in General Surgery.

I was wondering when god would come up in this thread. How do the above posters know she even believes in god, the same god you have in mind, or is religious at all? So far, we don't. If she is religious, no harm, no foul but what if not? I feel it is very egocentric of them to assume this. Being an atheist myself, if I was given this same advice to go ask god, I would be ticked off because I think it is lousy (and non-therapeutic) to assume everyone believes the same way you do. What do you do with atheist/non-believer patients or patients who believe in poly deities (i.e. Hindu, Buddhist, etc.) if they're having a hard time in their life? I think it's better to gather info aka ask first if they have a religious preference and go from there.

I had an abortion myself when I was 18 and have never regretted the decision. Now that I am ten years older, if I were to get pregnant now, I would not choose to abort but that doesn't mean I have the right to tell someone how to live their life and make decisions (BIG decisions) for them.

Ok, rant over -

To the OP, as discussed in this thread, there are many options out there for you to help shape your ultimate decision. Don't let anybody on here guilt trip you either way. You will know in your heart and mind what you need to do. I had one classmate pass third semester after repeating it because she failed it the first time around due to having a newborn. Then we had another one fail third semester because she had her baby girl during this last spring break. I have classmates with little ones and they're certainly excelling. It's not an impossibility for you to get through this but whatever you decide is your choice. We're all here for you!

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