I work in the lab at a hospital as a phlebotomist. Several of my coworkers are from Afghanistan, Iran, etc. but are fluent in English. They always speak about work stuff in English but I've noticed recently that they switch back and forth between English and their native language when I'm around. I heard one of them say my name and another coworker's name "... Leigh and Amanda..." and I started to get upset because I wasn't sure what they were saying about me. I'm all for hiring foreigners but is there some policy or something that prevents them from doing this? We have a very strict anti-bully policy where if it gets around that someone is saying bad things behind someone's back, there is action taken.
I confronted one of them and said, "I heard you say my name and I would like to know what you were saying," to which she replied, "We weren't even talking about you."
I am a nursing student and know I eventually need to handle conflict on my own but I'm not sure what to do in this situation! I think it's very rude for them to converse in their language when I'm the only other person in the lab at the time but it's also rude for me to ask them to stop. Help!!
How many times should she "try to talk to the girl"? It's pretty clear (to me at least) that defenses are up and asking her again to explain why her name was being used in conversation understandable to a select few would be beyond pointless...
Seems a little extreme to jump right to HR. Why not try to talk to the girl again and them if it doesn't get better, you can say something to your manager. But you will learn that people are going to talk about you no matter where you work. The difference in this case is that you can't understand what they are saying. No, this isn't bullying.
It would probably make things worse to make a big deal out of it. Almost everywhere has a policy against bullying but overhearing your name in a conversation doesn't count, more than likely.
I would go to human resources and ask the facility policy on this. Explain that you are feeling uncomfortable when coworkers speak around you in another language.
Socially isolating a coworker is considered a form of bullying.
Policy exists for a reason. You wanna come to my country and work? Learn MY language. And SPEAK it. This IS America. There is a reason that policies like this exist in a hospital. OP-I say go to the nurse manager and verbalize your feelings. Why should. we As Americans have to feel inferior to someone who isn't even a native? And if wanna say something about me, in ENGLISH, Then bring it on. That's how I see it.
'Speak in English' has been the policy where I've worked, but it never stopped those who know they can flaunt the policy with no consequences. Yes, you should report this to your manager or HR, but be prepared for what follows.
Policy exists for a reason. You wanna come to my country and work? Learn MY language. And SPEAK it. This IS America. There is a reason that policies like this exist in a hospital. OP-I say go to the nurse manager and verbalize your feelings. Why should. we As Americans have to feel inferior to someone who isn't even a native? And if wanna say something about me, in ENGLISH, Then bring it on. That's how I see it.
Can you imagine how the AMERICAN Indians feel? Afterall, they were here first! To the OP....how do you know they were not saying how wonderful a person you are? I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. BTW, get use to having others speaking another language around you. In another 10-15 years you might just be the minority in any group you find yourself.
I would not care honestly. I have always been a let it roll of my back kinda person. Some people call that having tough skin. Trust me, there are probably other co-workers talking about you in English.
Why do you assume they are saying bad things about you? Perhaps they were saying very nice things about your hair or clothes, but didn't want to embarrass you or were ashamed that it made them look jealous.
I'm not going to touch the whole "Americans speak American" crud, but I would like to point out that many immigrants feel the way you feel...their whole time.
If they aren't signing my paycheck then I could care less what they were saying about me. I speak 3 different languages and I only use the other 2 if I have a patient or someone outside the hospital who happens to speak them. Otherwise I use English at work.
If you really want to figure it out why don't you try to learn their language? Or at least the derogatory words.
Another possiblity is that they are saying words in their langauges that have syllables that sound like the syllables in your name and in your heightened awareness it sounds to you like your full name. This can easily happen. How about the benefit of the doubt?
(By the way, you do realize that in Iran and Afghanistan they do not speak the same language, right?)
How about trying to become friendly with them? Ask them how to say simple words and phrases in their languages. (I like that color. How are you? My name is ___. Things like that.) It will have the effect of breaking down barriers, giving you all a chance to laugh together at your accent as you try to repeat the phrase, and also start attuning your ear to the sound of their languages.
No need to be defensive. Sometimes it's really easy to break down barriers. You might even make some very good friends.
I would talk to your supervisor. Your co-workers actions could be considered workplace bullying. It's still considered very rude to have a conversation in front of someone that deliberately excludes them. Whispering is considered rude for the same reason.
I had this problem in my pre-nursing career, with some West African and Middle Eastern co-workers who insisted on speaking french around everyone else. I grew up around French Canadians, and after I showed them they weren't the only Francophones in the office, they stopped (at least around me).
I've lived in another country before and spoke their language. However, when I would be around other English speakers, I immediately switched to English because it is my native language and I could converse easier that way.
Don't be so paranoid. They're talking in a language they're both comfortable in.
BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN
3,520 Posts
How many times should she "try to talk to the girl"? It's pretty clear (to me at least) that defenses are up and asking her again to explain why her name was being used in conversation understandable to a select few would be beyond pointless...