Conflict with a coworker

Nursing Students General Students

Published

I work in the lab at a hospital as a phlebotomist. Several of my coworkers are from Afghanistan, Iran, etc. but are fluent in English. They always speak about work stuff in English but I've noticed recently that they switch back and forth between English and their native language when I'm around. I heard one of them say my name and another coworker's name "... Leigh and Amanda..." and I started to get upset because I wasn't sure what they were saying about me. I'm all for hiring foreigners but is there some policy or something that prevents them from doing this? We have a very strict anti-bully policy where if it gets around that someone is saying bad things behind someone's back, there is action taken.

I confronted one of them and said, "I heard you say my name and I would like to know what you were saying," to which she replied, "We weren't even talking about you." :(

I am a nursing student and know I eventually need to handle conflict on my own but I'm not sure what to do in this situation! I think it's very rude for them to converse in their language when I'm the only other person in the lab at the time but it's also rude for me to ask them to stop. Help!!

ps, there is NO conflict here except what you're making of it. Which is something out of nothing

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Policy exists for a reason. You wanna come to my country and work? Learn MY language. And SPEAK it. This IS America. There is a reason that policies like this exist in a hospital. OP-I say go to the nurse manager and verbalize your feelings. Why should. we As Americans have to feel inferior to someone who isn't even a native? And if wanna say something about me, in ENGLISH, Then bring it on. That's how I see it.

Why should "we" feel superior to people who were not born here?

Yes, it's rude, but more than likely if you say something to management, it will just cause more hard feelings. Why not try to make friendly overtures (e.g. bringing in a treat to share) to your co-workers? It can't hurt, and it could help you become closer to them.

It's really just work. Do your job, go home and socialize with your friends outside of work.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Can you imagine how the AMERICAN Indians feel? Afterall, they were here first! To the OP....how do you know they were not saying how wonderful a person you are? I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. BTW, get use to having others speaking another language around you. In another 10-15 years you might just be the minority in any group you find yourself.

Haha, I bet I'd get in trouble for speaking Cherokee at work!

To the OP: Words spoken between two people in a language you don't speak are obviously not for your ears. They may be rude talking about you behind your back, but you're rude to demand that they share their obviously private conversation with you. If you heard someone whispering in English and demanded they share their conversation with you, how do you think it would go over? It's still rude, but innocent you ain't.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Policy exists for a reason. You wanna come to my country and work? Learn MY language. And SPEAK it. This IS America. There is a reason that policies like this exist in a hospital. OP-I say go to the nurse manager and verbalize your feelings. Why should. we As Americans have to feel inferior to someone who isn't even a native? And if wanna say something about me in ENGLISH, Then bring it on. That's how I see it.[/quote']

I completely agree with you! I see that you've gotten some heat from other posters about this comment but I really think that people should speak the language if they are going to come to my country to work. I saw this on the floor that I did my medsurg rotation at. The nurses perform bedside shift reports and they would speak their native language in front of the patient. If I were a patient and I heard blah blah blah Patient X blah blah blah I would think that they're talking about something that I should know about. The patients would get very upset with them and many complained to the nurse manager who handled the situation by instituting a policy against this. This is about being professional and courteous to your colleagues and patients. It's not fair for anyone to not be able to understand you when you're clearly talking about them. Even if they are saying "nurse so-and-so is the best nurse ever" which is not likely.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Policy exists for a reason. You wanna come to my country and work? Learn MY language. And SPEAK it. This IS America. There is a reason that policies like this exist in a hospital. OP-I say go to the nurse manager and verbalize your feelings. Why should. we As Americans have to feel inferior to someone who isn't even a native? And if wanna say something about me, in ENGLISH, Then bring it on. That's how I see it.

And people wonder why people dislike American's so much. The ethnocentricity of comments like this are so blind and ignorant. Please stay in America and never bring this ridiculousness to other countries so those of us who have open minds aren't grouped with people like you

Up Vote Up Vote ×

So, do you speak Lakota, Cherokee, Shawnee, or whichever Native American region you happen to live in now? I'm curious, as this is

1) Not just your country

and

2) Honestly, everyone except for the Native Americans are immigrants.

Can it be considered rude? Possibly. Is the OPs situation similar to the situation you gave? No.

I'm sad to see xenophobia is alive and well in the nursing community.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I've lived in another country before and spoke their language. However, when I would be around other English speakers, I immediately switched to English because it is my native language and I could converse easier that way. Don't be so paranoid. They're talking in a language they're both comfortable in.
^^^^ This. I have two Chinese friends who are very fluent in English. However. there are times that they've reverted to Chinese in my presence; they've always given a translation eventually. And if they did, it didn't matter. But these are my friends and not the workplace. In addition to hospital policy English only, I would consider it rude to not offer a translation, Like the previous poster said, chill a little. You've titled this "confrontation" at this point, I believe that it's a "confrontration" if you make it one by going to managment
Up Vote Up Vote ×

''I would move on from it. If they have a problem, kill them with kindness. That will get to them more than confronting them. I do this all of the time with people that I work with.''

Kill them with kindness, I love that, well said!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

If this was a male and female thing it would be a no brainer.

Two men, speaking a foreign language in the presence of a female co-worker.

The female co-worker is uncomfortable. It would stop in a heartbeat.

As far as I'm concerned it's not just the language difference. It's not about exclusion. It's a matter of power and control. I'm not sure how, it's just how it feels to me. I'm wearing my psycho babble hat.

Putting myself in that situation, I would feel powerless and weak.

Similar to bullying. I don't know that I'd go that far.

At the very least, it is one of the rudest things any person can do to another. Like whispering. It's offensive.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Policy exists for a reason. You wanna come to my country and work? Learn MY language. And SPEAK it. This IS America. There is a reason that policies like this exist in a hospital. OP-I say go to the nurse manager and verbalize your feelings. Why should. we As Americans have to feel inferior to someone who isn't even a native? And if wanna say something about me in ENGLISH, Then bring it on. That's how I see it.[/quote']

Since when is the United States YOUR country exclusively? The fact that they're foreigners doesn't mean they haven't became American citizens, in which case this is THEIR country too.

Your language? How many US states actually have English as the official language? Research it!

And I'm sorry but unless you're Native American your descendants were also foreigners.

OP: Don't concentrate on others speaking their native language when they're socializing, now if it's work related then there is reason to worry, otherwise let it go, do your job, and don't make enemies at work.

Sent via my iPhone using allnurses.com ❤️

Up Vote Up Vote ×

An English-only policy? Interesting. And by interesting, I mean: 1. boring. 2. crappy. 3. selfish.

Having worked in some very, very diverse places, I cannot imagine an "English only" policy among coworkers.

One of the coolest places I ever worked contained the following ethnic mix: Nepalese, Haitian, Ethiopian, Kenyan, Persian (don't call her an Iraqi!), Armenian, Peruvian, Korean, and Americans of all sorts. It was a rare day when a shift passed without another language cropping up. And y'know, it was really fun.

But I'm a language nerd from a looooong ways back. I tend to be so curious that I probably miss the "gossipy" vibe--if any--to what may or may not be private conversations when I'm introducing myself and asking what language they're speaking and where they're from!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
If you moved to a country where everyone spoke your 2nd language and you found a friend who spoke your native language what language do you think you'd speak to him in? I seriously doubt there's anything to be made of this.[/quote']

I agree. America is a melting pot. I say build a bridge and get over it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment