C'Mon Now!

SchoolNurseTXstyle · Feb 21, 2018

At least 3 times a week at my middle school, a mass e-mail goes out looking for the missing DD. Today, she left class to go to the bathroom and did not return.

She has even tried to lie about being with me a couple of times when she was actually roaming the halls.

Yet, not 1 single genius of a teacher in my building can say - "Hey BB, why don't you escort DD to____________so you can make sure she comes right back to class." Or better yet, tell DD - you are not leaving unless it is an emergency.

C'MON NOW!

cooties_are_real · Feb 22, 2018

Little Darling comes in and asks for crackers. Here is the exchange:

LD: Can I have some crackers?

Me: Did you not eat breakfast this morning?

LD: No, I haven't eaten since 937 yesterday morning.

Me: Oh, my. How can you be that specific about the time?

LD: I have the receipt. I went to McDonald's.

Me: You didn't eat lunch?

LD: No, I just at at 937, so I wasn't hungry. (lunch is at 11:27)

Me: What about dinner? Mom didn't fix anything?

LD: She did, but I fell asleep.

C'mon now, you are a teenage boy and you want me to believe you have not eaten in almost 24 hours?

Eleven011 · Feb 22, 2018

Little Darling comes in and asks for crackers. Here is the exchange:
LD: Can I have some crackers?
Me: Did you not eat breakfast this morning?
LD: No, I haven't eaten since 937 yesterday morning.
Me: Oh, my. How can you be that specific about the time?
LD: I have the receipt. I went to McDonald's.
Me: You didn't eat lunch?
LD: No, I just at at 937, so I wasn't hungry. (lunch is at 11:27)
Me: What about dinner? Mom didn't fix anything?
LD: She did, but I fell asleep.
C'mon now, you are a teenage boy and you want me to believe you have not eaten in almost 24 hours?

My teenage son would have done all of this (he has I'm sure) only he would have woken up from his suppertime nap at midnight and then foraged through the kitchen for something to eat. I've heard the microwave going at all hours of the night! Luckily, mom also has a snack drawer in her office :)

Glitternurse, LVN · Feb 22, 2018

I have an anti-vax facebook friend who is a healthcare professional handing out religious exemption forms. Come. On. Now.

Fortunately in California there is no vaccine exemption unless you get a letter from a doctor stating the child cannot be immunized due to a diagnosed medical condition. Now we see the same doctor's name repeatedly on these medical exemtion letters, but time and the medical board will eventually catch up with him.

Glitternurse, LVN · Feb 22, 2018

When a student injures himself over the weekend and parents bring him to school with his arm swollen from his finger to his elbow, he is unable to make a fist and has extremely limited range of motion. The poor kid told me he didn't sleep because the pain was so bad. Nobody took him to get x rayed. His teacher and I attempted to contact his parents for 2 hours. The only working number was to grandma, whom the family was not speaking to. She called the other grandma in Maine (we're in California) to see if she could contact the parents to tell them to pick up their kid and take him to the ER. Finally the RN went to the child's house to knock on the door and tell the mother she had to take her child to be seen, 30 minutes later she showed up didn't say word one to me and left. C'mon Now!!

Fortunately he was taken and it ended up being a severely sprained wrist and not a fracture...thank goodness

OyWithThePoodles, RN · Feb 23, 2018

Just had a kid bring me her mom's Tamiflu to give to her. Then got very upset when I kept it with me. I heard her as she stormed out of the office "Mrs. Poodles took away my medicine and won't give it back!!!" Mornin' y'all.

NutmeggeRN, BSN · Feb 23, 2018

I have come very close to doing that. Now it seems like she just throws crap up on FB and now i just engage in the conversaton.

Correction...I do NOT engage

Amethya · Feb 23, 2018

I had two 2nd grade students come in today, basically bumped heads with each other, are okay, but have bruises. Parents were notified, they sat in my office with ice, both were fine.

It's silent for a while, then I hear massive giggling. I see them looking at a book and are laughing at a little girl on the cover. I don't understand the humor, but it's 2nd graders, so eh. I go back to my work and all of the sudden:

"orifice! LOOK IT SAYS orifice!"

Then laughter and then I hear a chant of "orifice, orifice, orifice!"

I go to them and I see them looking at my human body poster, and the kid then asks me, "Ms. Amethya, why does it say orifice!? orifice!?" I just look at them, laughing so much and I'm trying to hold my laughter and just kept a poker face, and tell them, "Well if we have the fits of giggles, I think we are okay right?" they say yes, laughing and leave my office still laughing. I close my door and I start to laugh so much, because well... orifice. xD

BeckyESRN · Feb 26, 2018

I close my door and I start to laugh so much, because well... orifice. xD

Lol, I covered the word orifice on my body poster to avoid the giggling students!

Amethya · Feb 26, 2018

Lol, I covered the word orifice on my body poster to avoid the giggling students!

I honestly keep it out in the open to see how many kids notice that word, but only one so far. xD

ohiobobcat · Feb 26, 2018

We just got back from our week long February break. In the first hour of school, I had 3 kids come see me with injuries sustained while home on break. "Can you just look at it and tell me what you think?" (Stubbed toe with nail partially ripped off) "I hurt it on Friday, and we didn't go to the doctor because it was the weekend. You know, because doctor's offices are closed on weekends?" (Wrist pain with NO injury.) "My mom told me it was fine, but I don't think it is." (Different student, stubbed toe, no limp noted in or out of my office.)

And then the diarrhea x 3 complaint. I'm thinking 3 times today. Nope, after clarification, student states he has had diarrhea x 3 since Saturday.

Me: So you have been to that bathroom 3 times since when?

Student: Since I started drinking the water.

Me: Huh? What do you mean by that? I mean WHEN did the diarrhea start.

Student: Uhh, I would say Saturday.

Me: So you have had diarrhea 3 times since Saturday?

Student: Yes. And I feel like it is going to happen again.

Me: Is mom aware of this?

Student: No, we had a VERY BUSY weekend and I didn't tell her.

Me: {Check temp= 98.3 F} No vomiting, no fever, diarrhea x 1 today. I do not dismiss students for these symptoms. Go back to class, and if it gets worse we can discuss this further.

Student: Okay. *but not very happy about it*

Get call from teacher 20 minutes later asking me if I still have said student. I did not. Parent dismissed him 1/2 hour after he left my office. Funny, I never called the parents.

OyWithThePoodles, RN · Feb 26, 2018

I'm out of mints. You'd think the world is ending.