Chewed out from family

[Volley88]

Ever been chewed out from the patient's family because of miscommunication from the doctor?

Last week, I had a patient that transferred to my hospital (McMemorial) from a different hospital (BurgerHospital). During SBAR, pt CC's was a syncope due to dehydration. The BurgerHospital gave IVFs and did kidney function tests. My hospital was waiting the results to be faxed. I am not sure what the MDs of BurgerHospital told the family, but the pt's family thinks he is in line for a kidney transplant.

I go assess the patient, and the family was on high alert asking questions about kidney transplants and how I must do everything in my power to save it. Unfortunately, I did not have all the information on what was going with the patient's kidneys to give a solid answer.

I told them I do not have all the information to give you a direct answer. Pt's MD team are on their way to get a better picture of what BurgerHopital has done. Right now, I have orders to continue to give IVFs.”

Pt's family, Well what good are you? You are just a nurse. Get me ice chips.” And storms off.

As I walked out, quite upset, Pt's mother (that was driving from work) calls my unit asking questions. I explained I cannot give any pt information outside through the phone due to HIPAA. The mother starts cursing profanity and tells me I deserve to have my license taken away” right before she hangs up.

For the rest of my shift, my patient's family continued to kick me out unless the doctors were present. At change of shift, the pt's family left for dinner and the pt gave his deepest apology about his family's behavior. MD team finally came in and determined no kidney transplant. Plan of care was to continue IVF and electrolyte replacements. Pt was discharged the following morning.

[HalfBoiled, BSN, RN]

I am soo sorry for your experience. It just sucks how we nurses are the front line people the family see. They take out their anger and frustration on us.

[Sour Lemon]

I occasionally encounter jerks at work under various circumstances ...but I barely have human emotions and tend to not be bothered.

Side note: Unless this experience occurred 20 years ago, you've probably included way too many identifying details. Crazy families do occasionally stop by allnurses to snoop and vent, as well.

[Emergent, RN]

Just be detached and chart all crazy behaviors and statements thoroughly. Continue to be professional and informative. Blame all HIPAA constraints on the Federal government.

[HalfBoiled, BSN, RN]

Side note: Unless this experience occurred 20 years ago, you've probably included way too many identifying details. Crazy families do occasionally stop by allnurses to snoop and vent, as well.

I think the OP made up the hospital names. I assumed McMemorial was McDonalds and BurgerHospital was Burgerking.

[dishes, BSN, RN]

I think the OP made up the hospital names. I assumed McMemorial was McDonalds and BurgerHospital was Burgerking.

It isn't the fictional hospital names that are the problem, it's the unique details about the patient's situation and the OP's communication with the family members that may make it easy for the family member to identify. They may not appreciate that their stressful experience with their loved one's hospital stay is being discussed on a public forum.

[Avid reader]

I really cannot see what this nurse has to be upset about? This should be par for the course predictable behaviors giving the situation described and the subsequent reactions expected. Ill pt, kidney replacement?, if not pathology then abuse, if abuse then very likely the peripherals IE family, social status, education, all points to expected behaviours. Just generalizing so no abuse re peripherals.

People are upset in traumatic situations and one cannot reasonably expect reserved behaviours unless they are brought up and schooled reservedly. One has to be cool, polite,respectful and considerate because it's part of being a nurse aside from our clinical expertise.

[caliotter3]

I really cannot see what this nurse has to be upset about? This should be par for the course predictable behaviors giving the situation described and the subsequent reactions expected. Ill pt, kidney replacement?, if not pathology then abuse, if abuse then very likely the peripherals IE family, social status, education, all points to expected behaviours. Just generalizing so no abuse re peripherals.

People are upset in traumatic situations and one cannot reasonably expect reserved behaviours unless they are brought up and schooled reservedly. One has to be cool, polite,respectful and considerate because it's part of being a nurse aside from our clinical expertise.

Agree. In my case, the "You are just a nurse" would be replaced by, "You are just the babysitter. Change the diaper." If it bothers me enough, I know what I need to do.

[DTWriter]

My sympathies, OP.

Though, you should really consider getting this thread removed. Someone involved in the story can figure out who you are talking about.

[amzyRN]

I'm sorry that happened but I'm sure it won't be the last time. I very seldom let that stuff rattle me anymore unless it seems like the situation is escalating and then I call security and have the family escorted out. That's one of the perks of working in the ED. If I start to feel threatened, I can make the family leave. But rude comments, I get those all the time and I just let them slide. I remember that as someone mentioned above, they are stressed worried about their family and not on their best behavior. Same with the lady on the phone, probably doesn't know anything about HIPPA. I've had that heppen too.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

I really cannot see what this nurse has to be upset about? This should be par for the course predictable behaviors giving the situation described and the subsequent reactions expected. Ill pt, kidney replacement?, if not pathology then abuse, if abuse then very likely the peripherals IE family, social status, education, all points to expected behaviours. Just generalizing so no abuse re peripherals.

People are upset in traumatic situations and one cannot reasonably expect reserved behaviours unless they are brought up and schooled reservedly. One has to be cool, polite,respectful and considerate because it's part of being a nurse aside from our clinical expertise.

You think it's OK for family to be rude to nurses because they are upset? They don't yell at doctors. So there's no acceptable reason for them to yell at nurses.

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

Bear with me for a moment:

A couple yrs ago, we had moved into a rental apartment, where one internet provider had a monopoly. Connectivity was terrible -- we basically had no internet access. After 4-5 calls to customer service, being told the signal was not going through, and I had to make a trip to the local McModem for a new modem.

I was ticked. I was in my partially-online BSN program, and I have five kids. Late at night was my only homework time, and of course libraries were closed. Plus, ALL of my middle-schooler's textbooks and assignments was on her school-issued iPad. It wasn't about my or S's social sites; it was about NEEDING internet access for schools.

It was not my proudest moment, but I let an f-bomb slip while on the phone AGAIN. It wasn't even directed *at* her -- it was as an adjective which modified "access."

She said: "Ma'am, if you use more foul language, I'm going to release this call."

Which brings me to my point: she did not deserve to hear hostility in the course of her work. Neither do we. Sure in many cases we should show some grace, but if someone is cussing you out over the phone?? Discontinue that conversation!

I get people can act out of character when stressed out... but behaviors like this? I tend to think they're just ugly people, who don't need to be defended. I take care of BRAIN DEAD patients, many of whom who are that way through no fault of their own. New quadriplegia, TBIs so severe that they will NEVER be able to go home. Some of these kids are 17, 18 yrs old (adult unit.) If anybody is stressed and grieving, it is these families...yet the vast majority are kind and appreciative.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that.