Can we get rid of the sugar in nursing?

[Nurse Joey]

I'm sure I'll get burned for this, but today I attended a graduate panel for my former nursing program. The students got to ask us questions about pay scale, what we enjoy about nursing, and how to find jobs... etc. Well all my fellow nurses went on and on about how you touch people's lives, and you become a part of their families. They love all their patients, and *tears flowing* we're just so honored to be like Florence Nightingale. They told stories about sitting around with their patients telling stories about grandkids, and exchanging pictures. The usual cliches; a patient doesn't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. I feel like an outcast because I don't treat each patient like I'm their sweet old granny.

Seriously the way they describe nursing is like a wal-mart greeter in scrubs. Don't get me wrong I have people tell me I'm a great nurse, and a great person. I sit with little old ladies and hold their hands when needed. But can we get the sugar out of nursing? Can we stop calling everybody sweetie, and saying how cute they are? I'm a professional, if you have pain I'll get you a pill, I'll call the doctor, or I'll try my best to fix it, but I won't kiss your boo boo. If you need to be changed, I will change you. If you're scared, then we'll discuss whatever issue you may have. I run my rear off everyday providing care for my patients but never have I treated them like my puppy. Furthermore I don't see doctors acting like Pre-K teachers with patients. Honestly as a patient I don't care how sweet and loving you are, if I'm having a massive heart attack do you know ACLS?

[msn10]

a patient doesn't care how much you know, until they know how much you care

The people who say that had to re-take the NCLEX 4 or 5 times.

From the NY Times, 2009:

Years ago during a hospital visit with my mother, one of her doctors seemed particularly brusque and rude. My mother told me he was among the best in his field, and she would rather have a competent doctor than a kind doctor.

Granted I think you should have both, but when talking with future nurses, I wish they would talk about how hard school can be and the realities of the profession as well as the benefits. Maybe there would not be such long nursing school waiting lists followed by a 50% turnover the first year of practice.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

I am in complete agreement. I have to confess, though, that on rare occasions I will tell the oncoming nurse how cute or delightful a pt is - sometimes you just get to care for some really special people, and it's such a rare treat it deserves mention in report. :)

And, to evolvingRN, caring about your pts doesn't mean you have to be syrupy sweet. Holistic care does not mean baby talk, pet names, or knowing all the grandkids' names and birthdays. You can discuss emotional/social/psychological issues on an adult level.

Also, I would venture to say that acute care settings are different from LTC settings. I'm acute care, and I don't want to develop the type of relationship in which I know all the kids'/grandkids' names, etc. If I have time for that, my pt is not progressing, and that is a bad thing from my point of view. I wanna fix 'em and get 'em out of my unit so I can get somebody who's "sick"! That doesn't mean, however, that I don't ask pts about their families. It's a great conversation starter, and helps me get an idea of what sort of support the pt has at home.

If I worked LTC, I would more than likely end up having a lot closer personal relationships with the residents.

:paw:

First of all im in acute care and i don't talk Syrupy sweet to anyone , I don't think we disagree with each other maybe we just see what the op was saying differently. when i hear that the other panel was focusing on the more humansitic part of their job i see nothing wrong with nurses finding value in that just as i don't find nurses that trhive in the symptom mgt part i think its all about balance. I guess That is all i was trying to protray.

[FlyingScot, RN]

What ! We don't fart rainbows and butterflies. I'm bereft, bereft I tell you.

[RNDreamer]

I'm in the honeymoon phase so for now, I can see both sides. I know nursing isn't all sugar and spice and everything nice. At the same time, it was those little moments I saw during nursing school that kept me going during stressful times.

For ex: the preemie who we thought wouldn't make it, but when we visited weeks later, saw the baby being held by Mom. It was beautiful. Or the patient who got quick intervention because of the quick thinking fellow student. It feels good to know you had a part in saving a patient.

I'm am glad, however, that nursing was never sugar coated for me. Because of this, I was not expecting the roses and dandilions that some of my classmates were expecting.

[catshowlady]

First of all im in acute care and i don't talk Syrupy sweet to anyone , I don't think we disagree with each other maybe we just see what the op was saying differently. when i hear that the other panel was focusing on the more humansitic part of their job i see nothing wrong with nurses finding value in that just as i don't find nurses that trhive in the symptom mgt part i think its all about balance. I guess That is all i was trying to protray.

Agreed. The best nurses, I think, balance both.

:paw:

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

I manage a 38-bed LTC unit. Every morning I do walking rounds just to see what's going on with the resident. It's a quick visual assessment that lets me know if they have had a change in status that warrants intervention. It also lets them know that that someone knows and cares about them. I sprinkle joking with TLC with assessment so if I need to snag a quick set of vitals I can. I even talk to my non-verbal folks. And sometimes I just get them another cup of coffee or remind them to put in their teeth.

[nursingisok]

I'm with you. When they pay me enough to sugar coat each patient then I will do it!

[felineRN]

Ha!! Where have you been all of my life?! I was always a bit of an odd duck in my nursing class because I held the very same views. I think people get too caught up in the "idea" of nursing rather than the reality of the profession. I always saw straight through the smoke and mirrors of the long testimonials about changing people's lives etc... I'm not refuting the fact that you do change people's lives, but it's not like they cue a string quartet, everyone hugs, and Rainbow Bright pukes glitter.

I'm not a cold or uncaring person, but I do feel as though nursing schools can pull the wool over the eyes of students. Being a new nurse myself, it's been a real reality check. I think there seems to be this mysterious and metaphysical concept of "caring" that glistens in the eyes of nursing students.

You can care for a patient on multiple levels and many different ways. I'm learning that often times, the highest level of caring is being an advocate for your patient.

End of Rant

[cmw6v8]

I'm just a student here, but I agree...I don't have a syrupy sweet personality, although I am kind and compassionate. I think professionalism and balance is key. I'm sure I will have patients who need a little extra TLC and I'll be happy to provide it to them, and being compassionate is an important part of the job. But I also hate the stereotype that this is all nurses do. The "angels at the bedside" stereotype gets me down only because so many people have no idea that nurses are highly skilled and intelligent professionals, not just hand-holders who wash out bedpans and take temperatures.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Amen to that.

And can we also please change the tone of many nursing newsletters, seminars and recruiting events? Why are these professionally-oriented communications so often accompanied by curli-cue print fonts, give-aways like personal care items and spa/salon gift certificates, and other visual cues that detract from a serious professional image.

And don't get me started on "cute" scrubs ...

[dthfytr, ADN, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I]

In nursing you form a relationship with a patient. As with all relationships, you only get out of it what you put into it.

[nickola]

Some of us are tired of picking up the slack from the nurses who are busy treating all their patients like puppies!