So we recently admitted a male patient who identifies himself as female. We don't get many patients like her. A nurse in particular let's his political views get in the way of work and has been calling this patient "it".
Now, let's fast forward to the dilemma. During medication pass, he addressed the patient as "it" out loud and other staff and patients started laughing; next thing you know, we had a behavioral emergency on our hands.
I filled out an incident report because several other nurses and I have spoken to this nurse prior to the event happening. One nurse even brought it up the chain of command. Not only is it unprofessional but it's endangering the safety of others - clearly, it's one of her triggers. Has anyone ever dealt with this type of conduct?
I read in some earlier post that a TG person would be "devastated" if called it and that this is why TG people kill themselves. I believe that it is extremely telling if your joy and even your sanity hinges on an insult from some crackpot. If you know who you are and are happy with your choices, why the need for constant validation and co-signing from every person you come in contact with ? And yes nurses have an ethical obligation to not be jerks to their patients but it is a general attitude I see even with laypeople. You are a bully or bigot if you don't agree with and campaign for the cause/minority/victim d'jour.
Shame on you, for your lack of compassion and for your inability to comprehend the hurt the bullying causes transgender individuals. And yes, it IS bullying- any time a stronger individual or group of stronger individuals preys on the vulnerabilities of another with malignant intent, it is bullying and not to be tolerated. There is no reason to call a transgender individual "it" unless you intend to debase, dehumanize, and degrade them- to bully them. You or others cannot hide behind a "difference of beliefs" and say it is justification for treating them so.
Of course it's a psychiatric issue. Could we stop being so PC that words literally lose all meaning?
Feeling that the body you have is not the one you should have is a psychiatric issue. I believe all non-surgical psychiatric interventions should be exhausted before any surgical option is allowed, and FYI so does any responsible doctor doing gender reassignment surgeries.
These people are very troubled individuals, and according to much that I've read on the topic, gender reassignment too often does not solve their problems. Before anyone takes a knife to them and performs irreversible modifications to their bodies, they had better delve VERY VERY deeply into where the motivation to change gender is coming from. It disrespects their basic humanity to do any less.
And still none of this affects any of our obligation to be respectful of our patients and preserve their dignity wherever possible.
The mismatch of the appearance of external genitalia (sex) and inherent sense of gender is not a mental illness, it's a physiologic issue. Suggesting it's a mental health issue is disturbingly ignorant. Those seek surgical alteration of their external genitalia are screened to rule out a psychological source for the desire for surgery, not because it's the first-line treatment.
While a good portion of gender identity is learned, we also know that the framework for gender identity is intrinsic (our gender identity is something we're born with).
The developmental process that determines what external genitalia we will form and the process that determines what gender we will cognitively identify with are two separate processes, connected relatively loosely by a series of information relays that fail relatively often.
So contrary to your view, those seeking surgical intervention aren't trying to change their cognitive gender, their seeking to fix the mismatch they were born with and make their genitalia consistent with the gender identity which is not so easily fixed.
Shame on you, for your lack of compassion and for your inability to comprehend the hurt the bullying causes transgender individuals. And yes, it IS bullying- any time a stronger individual or group of stronger individuals preys on the vulnerabilities of another with malignant intent, it is bullying and not to be tolerated. There is no reason to call a transgender individual "it" unless you intend to debase, dehumanize, and degrade them- to bully them. You or others cannot hide behind a "difference of beliefs" and say it is justification for treating them so.
I think Conqeror+ is saying that if you know who you are, someone calling you a name shouldn't break you. Like the Nurse Ratched thread.
She/he isn't condoning the TG patient being called "it."
I read in some earlier post that a TG person would be "devastated" if called it and that this is why TG people kill themselves. I believe that it is extremely telling if your joy and even your sanity hinges on an insult from some crackpot. If you know who you are and are happy with your choices, why the need for constant validation and co-signing from every person you come in contact with ? And yes nurses have an ethical obligation to not be jerks to their patients but it is a general attitude I see even with laypeople. You are a bully or bigot if you don't agree with and campaign for the cause/minority/victim d'jour.
I doubt it's people not validating them that drives TG people to suicide. If you think the worst TG people face is rude words you're taking a very narrow view.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I guess to me it is basic. NO HUMAN being is ever an "it" no matter HOW they self-identify. Such people who think it's ok have no business working with and caring for human beings. It's really that simple.
I read in some earlier post that a TG person would be "devastated" if called it
That was me and my friend. And he would. I doubt he'd kill himself, but after decades of hating who he was because he was trapped in the wrong body for years AND being told that this was a sin he'd pay for with eternal torment and damnation....the problem should be self-evident. He worked for a long time to get comfortable in his own skin and has had to surround himself with people who validate him. Not because he is a weakling, but because for his first 30 years he was not comfortable in his own skin and was not surrounded by people who looked kindly at the trans community. Thirty years of being told you are going to hell for being who you are by people who say they love you. I'm not sure any of us would come through that unscathed. I'm not anyone's savior, but have no problem reassuring him that he is a worthy person.
If you know who you are, someone calling you a name shouldn't break you
I get where this is coming from but I fundamentally disagree. I don't think we, as nurses or as fellow human beings, get to decide what is "too much" for someone. I don't think we should pass judgement on someone when something we view as innocuous makes then break down. It's not our job or our right, because we haven't been there and we don't truly know what it's like to be them.
So, putting someone down for being hurt by something that's happened or that someone has done to them, or saying they "shouldn't be" hurt, to my eyes, is kind of like rubbing salt in their wound. Be compassionate that they are wounded in the first place; validate their pain and their right to feel it; be gentle and aware of the possibility for further harm. No need to judge them for what they are feeling.
I doubt it's people not validating them that drives TG people to suicide. If you think the worst TG people face is rude words you're taking a very narrow view.
I was referring to an earlier post that said that. Not my personal opinion just me responding to an earlier post that stated name calling was why TG people kill themselves.
I read in some earlier post that a TG person would be "devastated" if called it and that this is why TG people kill themselves. I believe that it is extremely telling if your joy and even your sanity hinges on an insult from some crackpot. If you know who you are and are happy with your choices, why the need for constant validation and co-signing from every person you come in contact with ? And yes nurses have an ethical obligation to not be jerks to their patients but it is a general attitude I see even with laypeople. You are a bully or bigot if you don't agree with and campaign for the cause/minority/victim d'jour.
You make some good points here.
first, to respond to your question about why the constant ned for validation: In sociology and psychology students are taught all about the constant validation that we ALL as a society seek. The difference between someone who is TG and someone who is culturally "normal" is that a TG person does not receive the normal, every day validation that the "normal" person does. A person who is not TG would not notice these typical validations because they are so common (like the metaphor of the fish who would never notice the water it lives in until you removed it from the water). You are used to constant subtle validation, so you don't notice it... but you certainly would if you were one of an extreme few who rarely received it.
Also, you mention lay people versus nurses. You are right. Lay people insult those who are different all the time. It is sad, but it is absolutely tue. The difference between that person and you or any other nurse is that you all committed to things like compassion, integrity and such in your roles as nurses. You have committed to caring for your patients. We talk about bedside manner all the time. that is because how we treat our patients is highly critical. Our patients are supposed to be able to trust us. If they can't, how can they be comfortable enough to be honest with us about things they are scared of being judged harshly over? How can we do our jobs well if we violate that trust.
These are all things we should all learn in school. These things are the very center of what we do. It should be anyway. It is for me, and for many others as I can see from reading these posts.
So here's a curious fact. The post by cheezwizz90, RN has disappeared. So have all the posts that quoted him.
If you google part of what he said, it shows up in the search. But when you click on the links you can't see either the original post or the posts quoting him. What's going on? I can understand why he might want to delete his post, but what happened to all the others?
RookieRoo
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