Bullying :Living well is the best revenge

[Oldmahubbard]

Incivility, or frank bullying. Quite a common problem in this line of work.

I have my PhD in the subject, and even the tee-shirt. Fortunately it largely resolved, after I got my NP. Still, there are some rather traumatic memories.

Two decades ago ago, as an RN, after several months of abuse, I was kicked out of the health dept. What a blessing in disguise.

There was one fellow RN there, that was particularly memorable for her snide condescension, and consistent efforts to undermine me anyway she could. Making every work day miserable.

After I got canned, the union called, and wanted to know why no one could keep a job there. I was the sixth person in 2 years who had been let go.

A study should be done there about toxic work environments. Alas, the worst offenders have retired. So I thought.

Due to the flu epidemic, the health department recently had a TV spot on vaccinations. And there she was, 20 years older, and in all her glory.

I did a quick Internet check on her salary. I live in one of those "transparent" states with regards to government salaries.

It must be hard to live on 40k.

Of course, money isn't everything, but 175k gives you a lot more options in life.

So I have heard.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

Happiness is really the best revenge. In a way she did you a favor and you found a better and much more lucrative job. You could always send her a note or better yet wait till next Christmas and send her one of those family brag letters of all you've done. I was forced to face my bully when she became a frequent flier patient and after fighting the inevitable I accepted being her nurse and was able to let her know how great my life was and my vacations to Europe, Hawaii and Niagara Falls. Facing her gave me more peace. Funny thing was she acted like nothing had happened between us as if we were friends. I've since learned she lost her house to foreclosure probably from not being able to work with all her health problems. Life is strange.

[Oldmahubbard]

Life is more than a little strange!

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I have also been a victim of bullying. It was actually lateral violence.

I was shocked, hurt, cried and caved in. I quit there.. went on to fantastic experiences with travel nursing and landing my dream job.

In my case, the leader of the bully pack, got walked out of the door in handcuffs for diverting narcs and hitting herself up with them on duty.

Karma is our friend.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

Even better is to walk into THAT unit and speak with those who harassed and maligned you knowing darn well that now you're in charge. And if they know that all their corner-cuts and other little sins are known to you inside out, and you expect them to slip, and you won't hesitate for a sec to throw them under the bus should something "just happens" with your patient.

[Munch]

What goes around comes around. It really is a wonderful thing when the karma wheel comes full circle..not that I bask in misfortune of others on a regular basis but 2 of my work bullies are doing 6 years in state prison for narc diversion, conspiracy, felony posession and sales of a controlled substance. These two conspired to make my work environment miserable. They were childish in their actions..they would hide my paperwork, eat my lunch out of the employee fridge and they were just downright mean and nasty to me. I hope they enjoyed my lunch and think of how good it was when they are eating bologna and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in prison.

[amoLucia]

Even better is to walk into THAT unit and speak with those who harassed and maligned you knowing darn well that now you're in charge. And if they know that all their corner-cuts and other little sins are known to you inside out, and you expect them to slip, and you won't hesitate for a sec to throw them under the bus should something "just happens" with your patient.

Kind of like reminds of that scene in 'Pretty Woman' with Julia Roberts when she walks into that chichi Beverly Hills dress shop the day AFTER she had been ignored by staff. She then chides them about how they lost out by making that "BIG MISTAKE. BIG MISTAKE".

And then she flounces out.

Love that movie!

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Love it!!!! Way to Live!!! You got dealt a bad hand but you didn't retreat or surrender. You stayed in the game did some self-reflection and improvement (I imagine) and totally remade yourself professionally. Perfect!!! I admire what you did

[magnolia nurse]

Success and happiness is definitely the best revenge!

I am writing my dissertation on nurse bullying..

You would think in 2018 this would not be a problem.. some see it as a right of passage but really?... and most of use don't recognize the behavior as bullying.

The research says administrators and even nurse leaders do not admit that it is happening even with the attention from the ANA and Joint Commission and is "chronic from the top" (Hutchinson and Jackson, 2015)

Those who have experienced nurse bullying know the scenario's very well...

Hutchinson, M., & Jackson, D. (2015). The construction and legitimation of workplace bullying in the public sector: insight into power dynamics and organisational failures in health and social care. Nursing inquiry, 22(1), 13-26.

[magnolia nurse]

wow! that was serious..

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Why do you think it does go on and is tolerated?

[wondern, ASN]

Because they form a goon squad even with managers possibly. There's strength in numbers. Some even party after work and come up with fun bully plans. It's like a lifestyle for them, or maybe even a devilish addiction to be mean. :devil: