Bully nurse question

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What would be a textbook response against a bully nurse?

I have search the forums using the keyword "bully" and most of the threads have been talkfests.

[PedsDrNurseTheo, ADN, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, EMT-P, NP]

Since I am not a textbook, I cannot give you a "textbook response."

I also have no idea what you are looking for, since different situations require different responses - I have utilized a variety of tactics from deliberate ignorance (playing dumb) to humor, to direct confrontation.

People are individuals, and must be responded to in an individual fashion - "textbook" or canned responses simply don't work for this reason - most people recognize them as canned.

That being said:

"Your behavior is inappropriate and unprofessional - and I would appreciate it if you stopped."

"Wow, who stepped on your tail this morning?"

"Um. Yeah, you're right, there really are some stupid, lazy useless newbie nurses in this place. Did you need me to do something for you?"

Things like that.

[Richard_Head]

If you are a new nurse and you confont a bully (*******) nurse about their behaviour, they will talk about you behind your back to everyone...but this will probably happen anyways. Your best defense is to be the smartest nurse on your unit. Work your ass off to learn all the relevent clinical info and how your hospital operates then make sure the bully knows you know your stuff.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

The key to dealing with a bully is to draw the line in the sand..in other words you can not be abused. They usually are cowards with low self esteem and will run off to pick on some easier prey. So you need to assertively confront them ...use I messages to get your point across. You never want to violate their rights (that is agression) but you will assertivly let them know you will not tolerate what ever behavior they are dishing out

[Hospice Nurse LPN, BSN, RN]

Sounds like an assignment to me. We had the same question to answer in a class I took this summer. There is a wealth of information on the web. Start by checking your nursing journals because I'm sure you'll have to cite your response.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

What would be a textbook response against a bully nurse?

I have search the forums using the keyword "bully" and most of the threads have been talkfests.

Have you ever noticed that workplace bullies target specific coworkers while they leave the other people alone? Do you ever wonder why certain people never become targets of a bully? It's human nature...

In my opinion, the textbook response against a bully nurse is to confront their behavior assertively and out in the open. It is imperative that you make yourself too difficult of a mark, because bullies seek people who are easy targets. If you are looked upon as a 'softie' or a timid person who will not defend oneself against the bully, you'll be marked as an easy target. If you're seen as someone who will resist any attacks and not let anyone walk over you, the bullies will get a clue and leave you alone. Nurses must "bully-proof" themselves by openly confronting bad behavior as soon as it happens. If a person is too challenging to pick on, the bully will simply move on to softer targets. Children do this in the schoolyard, and grown people do this in the workplace.

Bullying is a crime of opportunity because bullies pick on the most opportune targets: the coworkers who never seem to respond in a defensive manner to the harassment. The moral of the story is to stick up for yourself, because you cannot count on anyone to stick up for you.

[BEDPAN76]

So how come bullies never seem to get fired? Seems like they always come out ( smelling like a rose! ) I personally would like to figure out how to run them the hell out, but then that would make me an " unethical " bully, huh? Over the (many) years, I have thought up EVIL things to do to them including " setting them up ". But never did....Guess I'm a wimp. Oh well......Best to just take the advice of thr other posters! Good Luck!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

So how come bullies never seem to get fired?

Bullies also know how to play political games in the workplace, which is why they are often viewed as 'strong nurses' by the same managers who are unaware of their bad behavior.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

It is never easy to confront a bully. More info is needed from you in order to get a constructive answer, however. Is this nurse young/old/arrogant/in management/burned out/unsafe/lazy?

Confrontation is difficult and can be scary, but necessary. If this nurse is simply being a jackwagon, I would ask them "why the attitude?" Make them explain themselves. I had a nurse one time make a comment that suggested I didn't understand a very basic nursing premise. When I replied that I had passed the same boards that she had, she immediately backed down and was apologetic. She never meant any harm, and her comment was a generalized one, not meant to offend. (Yeah right) She left me alone.

Bullies are simply insecure, miserable people. Show them that you ARE NOT an insecure miserable person.

[grateful2010, LPN, LVN]

I was bullied while working as a companion in a nursing home facility-I was the outcast. They had the surprise of their life when they realized I wasn't the person they THOUGHT I was- a softie. Lets just say, if the supervisor hadn't calmed things down, that nurse would have been in the hospital, for how she treated me. I guess when you aren't on staff they think they can do whatever they like, for example, slamming the door on my foot and face... If you are a staff worker, I would say to go to your supervisor and report what is going on, if you aren't...a back alley would resolve the issue.... (lol) I kid!

[BluegrassRN]

Do your own homework!

[netglow, ASN, RN]

All great responses. However, dependent on the particular bully.

I have found through living life, sometimes it is necessary to "go there" YES be just as bad *** as they are. On rare occasion I will really "bring it" to a bully. Most bullies are wimps inside and they choose to try to bluster you FIRST, as a way to hopefully cause you to to be cautious around them.

If I feel that someone is desperately trying to "train me," (I will add, that it depends on how quickly I get fed up) I will go in for the kill, just to end it. Yes, I will either threaten, or dress them down in public as soon as I get the best opportunity for greatest impact.

So, here is the idea all should glean: Be careful who you mess with, if you think you are bad ***, there is always going to be someone who is way more.