Bullied at work, and the DON won't do anything about it. (venting)

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

This is not an attention-seeking post, something I see a lot of people here accusing others of doing.  I am not even asking for advice. Just venting. 

I am ganged up against, by a certain background of staff (certain native country) who make up the majority of my workplace. I know it doesn't make any sense, why am I still there. I am there because I love my residents, my company as a whole. 

I just wish there would be something they do about this bullying and retaliation (when they found out I c/o about it). 

The DON makes me feel like I am the problem, by ignoring even my written statement. She actually gets mad at if I ever say anything about it! 

I would get in detail, but I don't want even this innocent venting post to be used against me. 

The co-workers in question speak creole around me, in front of me, in front of patients. They act aggressively. I understand basic French and I more or less understand what they're saying. 

They ran so many nurses out of that place, I refuse to leave. Let them find a reason to fire me, they don't have one. 

?

Specializes in retired LTC.

Blackcat - what's the 'grey rock' method? Am too lazy to look it up right now.

3 Votes

Gray rock is where you make yourself so uninteresting and unemotional that bullies, sociopaths and users lose interest in you because there is no emotional payoff. 

You don't initiate contact, have nothing interesting to say, do not hold up your end of a conversation well, give no opinions, give no information about your personal life, opinions or any details about yourself. When baited, you don't take the bait. Gray rock is the ultimate wet-blanket response. 

For people who thrive on control, manipulation and drama, you don't give them any ammunition to use against you. No tears, no visible upset, to anger, no reward. 

15 Votes
Specializes in retired LTC.

Gotcha! Like a lump! TY for the response.

2 Votes

I just wanted to thank every each and every one of you for your input, I actually learned not only what* but how I should/ how I should act before I leave, to lessen their attacks. 

On a positive note, I just got home from work not long ago and I found this: 

https://mol.im/a/8881613 

If a kitten jumps from a window to save it's life, what am I doing there, literally having them (watching them) killing me in slow motion ...

Thanks again , Allnurses x you have come through again, as always. 

Love you all x x❤️ 

3 Votes

Just throwing this out there, if I remember correctly you are from Florida? When I went to med school in the Caribbean, a lot of the "main office" (shell company consulting firms, mostly) were based in Miami. I knew of 2 girls that that dropped out of another school on my island and were suddenly nurses in FL about 4 months later. I guess Florida allows pretty much any school that applies to grant a nursing degree required for the NCLEX, but I really can't see how either one of them could have entered the profession legitimately. Are you sure they are even nurses? I think a little background investigating might reveal they all got a 'degree' from the same strip mall university with a p.o. box address, which could be used to get some leverage, especially if the facility has some pending malpractice or wrongful death lawsuits. 

Side question: Is there some loophole with Florida licensing, because they have licensure reciprocity with other states but Miami is filled with diploma mills. I know I have to be missing something, because it seems like all you'd have to do is pay a diploma mill for a degree, sit for the NCLEX, then transfer your license to another state and surely a lot of people would do this.

0 Votes
Specializes in school nurse.
4 hours ago, DMQ48 said:

Just throwing this out there, if I remember correctly you are from Florida? When I went to med school in the Caribbean, a lot of the "main office" (shell company consulting firms, mostly) were based in Miami. I knew of 2 girls that that dropped out of another school on my island and were suddenly nurses in FL about 4 months later. I guess Florida allows pretty much any school that applies to grant a nursing degree required for the NCLEX, but I really can't see how either one of them could have entered the profession legitimately. Are you sure they are even nurses? I think a little background investigating might reveal they all got a 'degree' from the same strip mall university with a p.o. box address, which could be used to get some leverage, especially if the facility has some pending malpractice or wrongful death lawsuits. 

Side question: Is there some loophole with Florida licensing, because they have licensure reciprocity with other states but Miami is filled with diploma mills. I know I have to be missing something, because it seems like all you'd have to do is pay a diploma mill for a degree, sit for the NCLEX, then transfer your license to another state and surely a lot of people would do this.

Not sure how you tie the bullying behavior together with not having legitimate licenses to practice. Are you implying that because they're not American-born that they obtained fraudulent credentials?

2 Votes
Specializes in Mental Health.
On 10/24/2020 at 6:13 AM, NewRN'16 said:

This is not an attention-seeking post, something I see a lot of people here accusing others of doing.  I am not even asking for advice. Just venting. 

I am ganged up against, by a certain background of staff (certain native country) who make up the majority of my workplace. I know it doesn't make any sense, why am I still there. I am there because I love my residents, my company as a whole. 

I just wish there would be something they do about this bullying and retaliation (when they found out I c/o about it). 

The DON makes me feel like I am the problem, by ignoring even my written statement. She actually gets mad at if I ever say anything about it! 

I would get in detail, but I don't want even this innocent venting post to be used against me. 

The co-workers in question speak creole around me, in front of me, in front of patients. They act aggressively. I understand basic French and I more or less understand what they're saying. 

They ran so many nurses out of that place, I refuse to leave. Let them find a reason to fire me, they don't have one. 

?

Keep a detailed diary including official complaints and former nurses. They are not going to fire the entire staff because of you, but you can find an employment lawyer and take a pile of money with you on the way out.

1 Votes
1 hour ago, Jedrnurse said:

Not sure how you tie the bullying behavior together with not having legitimate licenses to practice. Are you implying that because they're not American-born that they obtained fraudulent credentials?

Majority of the shell schools operate on the concept of 'lost in the chaos' and it's easier to do with non-US education verification in exchange for credits

2 Votes
Specializes in Critical care, med surg.

I'm going through the same ething her and I can tell you down the line I have become paranoid, anxious, distracted and snappy.. I want to leave NoW that I see how much I have deteriorated.. the CNO in my case has told me when she wrote m up " this is the last one" immediately I changed my mind about fighting back.

It's not worth it.

Walk away because they will find a way to boot you out!

2 Votes

So sorry for what you are going through.  I have been in the same situation and decided to handle it my way.  I tried to talk to the DON on multiple times and she would also say.  Pick your battles.  I finally told her if I wanted to be in a constant battle I would have joined the military.  So, I decided to start documenting things in what I called my jerk journal.  I also decided that when I wanted to react to something I would start singing or humming a favorite song or if possible just walk off.  When I would come back I would just smile and keep working.  It drove them crazy.  I also said the required pleasantries such as Hello!, Only ask and answered job related questions.  It was hard, but after a few months, they were so curious with what was going on they tried to be nice and try and get me to respond.  I only smiled.  I did this for 14 years and retired just recently.  My resignation letter was brief and to the point.  The way I could do this is started my day with a Prayer, asking God to guide me, let me cause no harm to myself (with my mouth), or others.  I also remembered that I was just making my eight hours.  These people had proven they had no value in my life other than being a co-worker.  They finally realized once I decided to retire that they needed me to show them how to do some of the job duties that were my responsibility.  Well, unfortunately, for some odd reason, I never could find the time.  I made sure of it.  Now, those same people who made my life Hell are calling or texting me asking for help.  I don't answer.  

Good Luck to you, Wishing you the best if you decide to stay.  You will have to decide if staying is what is best for you and your family.  

6 Votes
Specializes in retired LTC.

she244 - my most sincere respect for such a response. You are PRIMO!

1 Votes
Specializes in ED, Critical Care.

Never love your job because your job won’t love you back. 

3 Votes
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