Breastfeed or else

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in NICU/Neonatal transport.

http://www.breastfeedingisnormal.org/WatchYourLanguage

This is a really good article to read about changing the language we use to discuss infant feeding.

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Specializes in L & D; Postpartum.

Having raised two bottle-fed kids who are now healthy, well-adjusted, intelligent, and productive adults, I will have to say this article made my blood boil. I had absolutely no desire to breastfeed. And no amount of "education" or "brow-beating" would have changed my mind. The decision had nothing to do with wanting to go party, or inconvenience or any of the stock accusations people use when speaking about bottle feeding moms.

In fact, neither of my kids ever held their own bottles. They didn't know they weren't attached to My BODY because I held them each and every time they were fed. They never had a bottle propped, nor did they ever walk around holding one in their own little mouths while trying not to trip over things.

Labeling formula is just silly. It's not like formula feeding is a danger to the baby's health, like cigarette smoking is.

If a mom asks me questions about one versus the other, I will give her straight answers but I'll be dipped in --it, if I'll try to skew her decision one way or the other. At the end of the day, and when she goes home with that baby, whatever she decides to do has to work in her world, not mine, not the lactation consultant and not the World Health Organization's.

When the powers that be start telling me what I HAVE to encourage patients to do, well, that's the end. I might think someone SHOULD have this or that treatment or take this or that medication, but isn't it assault to force them to do it if they don't want to?

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal transport.
When the powers that be start telling me what I HAVE to encourage patients to do, well, that's the end.

TPTB tell you that all the time - or at least they should. They tell you to encourage people to stop smoking, to lose weight, to eat healthier, to not take drugs, to limit alcohol intake.

Congrats on never letting your child hold a bottle. It is rare, even though you did it. Most people do allow the child to hold their own bottle and so on. It happens, but it is definitely rare.

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There is a difference between not being physically able and not wanting to. .

Yes there is, but Josh's belief that most women who claim inability instead of lack of desire are lying is what's making my blood boil.

My child never held a bottle either. She held her own cup from the beginning, but she refused to ever hold her bottle. This was her time with Mama and she wanted to cuddle. Fine with me.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
Having raised two bottle-fed kids who are now healthy, well-adjusted, intelligent, and productive adults, I will have to say this article made my blood boil. I had absolutely no desire to breastfeed. And no amount of "education" or "brow-beating" would have changed my mind. The decision had nothing to do with wanting to go party, or inconvenience or any of the stock accusations people use when speaking about bottle feeding moms.

In fact, neither of my kids ever held their own bottles. They didn't know they weren't attached to My BODY because I held them each and every time they were fed. They never had a bottle propped, nor did they ever walk around holding one in their own little mouths while trying not to trip over things.

THANK YOU! My thoughts exactly. I had zero interest in breastfeeding, but my husband or I, or someone else, held our daughter every single time she was fed a bottle. When she was old enough to show the interest and coordination to hold her own bottle, it was time for a sippy cup. She is now an active, non-obsese pre-teen girl with an IQ in the gifted range.

Thanks also to imenid37 ... your new moms, dads, babies & families are fortunate to have you!

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Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.
TPTB tell you that all the time - or at least they should. They tell you to encourage people to stop smoking, to lose weight, to eat healthier, to not take drugs, to limit alcohol intake.

Congrats on never letting your child hold a bottle. It is rare, even though you did it. Most people do allow the child to hold their own bottle and so on. It happens, but it is definitely rare.

Oh, for heaven's sake, it is not rare. I knew plenty of women who bottle-fed and none of them propped a bottle. That's just a stock-in-trade scare tactic used by the "breast Nazis."

I honestly think the breast-feeding people would rather see a woman nurse while smoking in the baby's face than see a non-smoking woman lovingly give her baby a bottle.

Why is it that this is the one area where people feel no hesitation on imposing their will on another? I can't think of another health issue, including smoking, where everyone feel like it's his/her right to impose his/her values on another?

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Specializes in SICU.

As someone that has had 4 children, all breastfed for at least 2 years each here is my 2 cents worth. I also have worked in NICU/Pediatrics for the last 8 years. I have seen the results of mothers being told how horrible formula is, that formula is poison, that giving a baby even one bottle will destroy any chance of breastfeeding. I have seen babies so dehydrated and near death that it still amazes me that the NICU staff managed to save them. Rectal temps in the 94's. Hyperbilirubinemia that interfers with bonding. There is no absolutes in anything, including breastfeeding.

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Specializes in Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

I received many scathing looks when I bottle-fed my daughter, who is adopted, in public. I did not feel that I was required to explain/ justify my actions to them but I found it deeply hurtful that they were so obviously judgemental.

Ultimately, however, I came to trust my gut and the motherly instincts that ALL moms develop, and to realize that I was raising a happy, healthy child. None of us is a perfect parent but like all parents, I was doing that best I was capable of. One of the results is that my daughter has always been quite close to her Dad, who was as likely to feed her as I was. One of my favorite pics shows Dad with a totally smitten expression on his face bottle feeding DD who is gazing back into his eyes.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatrics.

Having raised two bottle-fed kids who are now healthy, well-adjusted, intelligent, and productive adults, I will have to say this article made my blood boil. I had absolutely no desire to breastfeed. And no amount of "education" or "brow-beating" would have changed my mind. The decision had nothing to do with wanting to go party, or inconvenience or any of the stock accusations people use when speaking about bottle feeding moms.

In fact, neither of my kids ever held their own bottles. They didn't know they weren't attached to My BODY because I held them each and every time they were fed. They never had a bottle propped, nor did they ever walk around holding one in their own little mouths while trying not to trip over things.

THANK YOU! My thoughts exactly. I had zero interest in breastfeeding, but my husband or I, or someone else, held our daughter every single time she was fed a bottle. When she was old enough to show the interest and coordination to hold her own bottle, it was time for a sippy cup. She is now an active, non-obsese pre-teen girl with an IQ in the gifted range.

Thanks also to imenid37 ... your new moms, dads, babies & families are fortunate to have you!

Thanks to you both. Your experiences mirror my own. I too had no desire to breastfeed either one of my kids and today they are a healthy 13 and 7. My kids never held their own bottles either, I took 6 months off from work to be with both of them and my husband took paternity leave so he could help out. Both are honor roll students, both are a normal weight unlike many of their (breastfed) peers, and neither has ever had an ear infection, strep throat or any type of serious illness. In fact, they rarely even get colds! I refuse to feel guilty about it no matter how silly the "activists" get, the proof of my good parenting is right in front of my eyes!

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Specializes in Acute Med, Pediatric Hematology-Oncology.

well, here's my two cents worth. the sad fact is that many people present breastfeeding as this natural, wonderful thing. which it isn't. it's hard work a lot of the time. it can hurt. it takes time and it takes practice for mom and baby. and sometimes, no matter how much you practice, you still can't get it right. and of course, a lot of moms arent prepared for how hard it is. so they havent mentally prepared themselves and then they feel like a failure if they cant breastfeed.

as well, if a mother needs to return to work soon, she might not have the time to devote to it. or if she has a few other small children, she might not have the time or energy to devote to it. or maybe, she just plain doesn't want to. maybe it has nothing to do with the time it takes. maybe this mother simply wants to focus on other things that are more important to her and bonds with her baby in other ways. it's still her choice. and unless she is doing something criminal...such as neglecting to feed her child altogether, we cannot control how people choose to raise their children.

having said that, i am a big advocate of breastfeeding. i do think its the best available. and i think that it does prevent infection. and i also believe that formula could be much better than it is currently.

as for preventing obesity...don't buy it. there are parents that indulge their children and it doesnt matter if the child was breastfed or bottlefed. the majority of obese children are obese bc they are fed unhealthy food in large quantities, and are not encouraged to exercise. (this of course, does not include children who have medical conditions that would cause them to be obese.....an addiction to mcdonald's bic macs is not a medical condition).

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Breastfeeding is great. I did it for 11 months and didn't have too many problems, but there were times when I was so tired of being "touched" all day long that I couldn't stand my dh trying to go near the breast area. (my breasts had all the "action" they could take nursing all day). I als had to devote 30-45 minutes every 2-3 hours to nursing at first, on top of diapers, laundry, playtime, baths, and cooking and cleaning and trying to run errands in between. that was all with 1 child and a relatively easy baby and nursing experience and with me being a stay at home mom. I fully intend to breastfeed if we have another for about a year again, but I will be working and if it becomes too much of a hassle to pump and freeze etc.. who knows if I will last. Either way my baby will get the same amount of love and attention whether she drinks breast milk from my breast, or from a bottle or drinks formula from a bottle.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, educator.

It is a personal choice, and it isn't mine to make for someone else. With the micropreemies, we do encourage the moms to at least pump the colostrum, but if they don't want to, we don't push. Haven't killed a kid yet with formula, including my own who only nursed for 8 months.

As for the dads who push the moms to BF, go get a fake boob like in Meet the Fockers and go to town. :lol2: ;) It isn't your body and if mom feels she can't do it, then that is her choice.

Just because someone doesn't BF doesn't make them a horrible mom.

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